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Original poster

How many people do you really, really trust?

123 replies

fuzzywindows · 12/05/2023 07:54

I'm in the middle of a really horrible and difficult situation at the moment and because of the sensitivities I'm really careful about what I say and to whom I say it. Dawned on me last night that I have two friends who I know would never, ever betray me. Or at least I can't imagine a scenario where that would ever happen.

We have relationships that stretch back over 30 years and have been through some huge life experiences together...births, deaths, divorces etc. We've been there for each other through the worst times of our lives. I've got other friends too but I'd say only two that I could trust with my most private thoughts/feelings.

Just wondering about others. Is this common or do most people have a wider group of friends that they could 'trust with their lives'?

OP posts:
LindorDoubleChoc · 12/05/2023 20:51

Just my husband. Probably my adult DD and DS too (as in they wouldn't give away my secrets) but I wouldn't burden them with them.

WomanUnknown · 12/05/2023 20:59

My husband

That’s it

Justcashnosweets · 12/05/2023 21:04

My Mum, sister and 3 friends.

bevelino · 12/05/2023 21:05

dh, dds and my parents, basically immediate family that’s all.

philautia · 12/05/2023 21:07

My partner, my Mum and Dad and my sister. I have friends who I would trust with certain things, but not everything.

I would hate to not trust anyone, that would be a very lonely feeling.

GardeningIsNotMe · 12/05/2023 21:11

My husband is the only person I would trust with my life.

I was very badly let down by my best friend of 50 years. Since then I don’t trust anyone.

My D.C. are always there if I need them but I don’t worry them with my problems.

LeefPeeper · 12/05/2023 21:12

6 friends and my husband

marjorambasil · 12/05/2023 21:16

Hmm.

I trust my children, my father, and my sisters. Completely. With everything.

I trust my partner of nearly 20 years for the most part. Meaning that I trust him completely in that if we were in a film scenario and he was being tortured to reveal information for my capture or something, he wouldn't crack. I trust him with my life. However I'm not naïve and I don't completely trust him in regards to fidelity - even though he's never given me reason to suspect him, people are fallible, and don't trust him with money, as he is bad with it and will try cover it up. But otherwise yes.

marjorambasil · 12/05/2023 21:18

I also trusted my very closest friend but she died last year, aged only 54.

I am pretty sure I trust another friend, but the relationship is new. I think you can tell if you can trust someone and with what, after a while.

datingdilema1 · 12/05/2023 21:22

I don’t know what trust with my life actually means. There are different things if trust different people with. My best friend with most things, but then some people I’d trust to look after my dc, some with money, not a lot of people with secrets, some with that if I’d tell them about my personal problems they’d respond with empathy, some with getting some jobs done etc. It’s not all or nothing. I’ve got amazing friends who I wouldn’t necessarily trust not to pass on some personal info as they just like gossip too much but then are so great on so many other levels that I’d let it slide. Some people are fantastic friends as well but I don’t necessarily trust them to show up on time etc as their own lives are too chaotic.

ConsuelaHammock · 12/05/2023 21:39

My husband , my children , my parents , my siblings , my in laws. I have a couple of lovely friends but I don’t think I have any who I’d trust with my life. My sister is my best friend ( apart from my husband) . No one else has ever come close.

sunshineandshowers40 · 12/05/2023 22:08

Very interesting question, I think I trust 3 or maybe 4 people (husband, mum, best friend, and sister).

BertieBotts · 12/05/2023 22:11

In my eyes, ‘trust’ means ‘believing that someone will behave in exactly the way you want them to, at all times’, for me, that’s totally unrealistic. Who’s to say that the way I want people to behave is even the right way?

I agree that this is unrealistic and that's why it's not really my definition of trust - it kind of almost sounds like control?

To me trust is more about believing that this person is not out to deceive/scam me, at least on a basic level. On that basic level there are lots of people I would trust, I'm probably a bit of an overly trusting person in that sense.

On a deeper level, like someone I would marry, start a business with, trust to look after my kids etc - I'd define it as believing that decisions they made in my absence would be decisions that I would broadly agree with or at the very least could live with. They might not be the exact decisions I would make but I would be OK with them. There are probably only a few people like this - as you not only need to believe that they have common values, but also that their judgement is sound. For example there are people that I love, and wouldn't hurt me, but I wouldn't want them looking after my DC because they don't have the sense.

Agree "betrayal" feels like a very strange thing, not something I really think about ever.

UsingChangeofName · 12/05/2023 22:50

datingdilema1 · 12/05/2023 21:22

I don’t know what trust with my life actually means. There are different things if trust different people with. My best friend with most things, but then some people I’d trust to look after my dc, some with money, not a lot of people with secrets, some with that if I’d tell them about my personal problems they’d respond with empathy, some with getting some jobs done etc. It’s not all or nothing. I’ve got amazing friends who I wouldn’t necessarily trust not to pass on some personal info as they just like gossip too much but then are so great on so many other levels that I’d let it slide. Some people are fantastic friends as well but I don’t necessarily trust them to show up on time etc as their own lives are too chaotic.

This.

It really depends what you are talking about trusting people with.

Ifulikepinacoladas · 12/05/2023 22:59

7 friends, my DH, and my DSis, I would trust these people with my life and could rely on them all in any situation.

Weirdly I had a completely chaotic relationship with my dad who died a few years ago, but I trusted him. Whenever I spoke to him before I was due to travel, he would say if you need me, call me. I know that he meant this 100%, even when we were going to America...he would have come and got us if he had to.

storminamooncup · 14/05/2023 12:54

DM, DF, DH

Definitely not DSis who is very self centred and judgemental

Not ILs

And friends have let me down constantly so don't really have a 'best' friend.

tailinthejam · 14/05/2023 12:57

One.

Moonshine60 · 14/05/2023 17:12

Apart from DH who I would trust with my life, just 4 others that I know I could turn to and who would support and not judge.

littleripper · 14/05/2023 17:14

My BFF, DS19 and DD18
DH, Dm and DG are all too selfish and self absorbed - they only see me as an extension of themselves

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 14/05/2023 17:15

Husband, sister and niece.

Karwomannghia · 14/05/2023 17:19

No one, just me but I’m not at all upset by that. I have very strong life long friendships and strong family bonds but I also know we’re all humans who are fallible and can mess up or fall out and that’s ok. It’s doesn’t mean I don’t feel loved and can be vulnerable. I’m also happy I know I can trust myself.

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 14/05/2023 18:09

None but myself. Like 99% trust hubby, but not 100%

Tighginn · 14/05/2023 18:13

None. I will never trust another living soul.

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