How many people do you really, really trust?

[fuzzywindows]

I'm in the middle of a really horrible and difficult situation at the moment and because of the sensitivities I'm really careful about what I say and to whom I say it. Dawned on me last night that I have two friends who I know would never, ever betray me. Or at least I can't imagine a scenario where that would ever happen.

We have relationships that stretch back over 30 years and have been through some huge life experiences together...births, deaths, divorces etc. We've been there for each other through the worst times of our lives. I've got other friends too but I'd say only two that I could trust with my most private thoughts/feelings.

Just wondering about others. Is this common or do most people have a wider group of friends that they could 'trust with their lives'?

Three people - my closest sister, and two friends.

I trust my husband 100%. Second person would be my sister, but I wouldn't say 100%, only because we were never that close. She's reliable though.

None. The only person I trusted died last year. I’ve learnt not to trust people.

My husband and my mum. No one else.

No one.

I used to have 3 people who I trusted but they each broke that trust in a way that has ruined it for anyone else.

This thread has made me feel a bit sad. I was going to say about 10 so either I’m lucky or stupid.

7 people.

Depends on the scenario but I can trust DH with most things and I have a handful of close friends who I could trust in most situations but when it comes to sharing information the only person I can 100% trust is myself so if it involved something that I absolutely didn't want to risk being shared with a third party then I would keep it to myself as feel that is the only way to be certain of a secret

I think it depends on the situations people are envisaging when they answer.

Trust that they would always be there for me when needed: Husband, adult sons, parents and 3 good friends.

Trust that they would never lie to me: No one. I think everyone has an inner life and expereiences they don't always share, even with those closest to them.

Trust to keep a confidence: depends on the significance of the information. Husband would keep all confidences, sons would probably tell only their partners, parents and friends would keep very signifacnt confidences.

Everyone is imperfect, so the old ABC is a good start point in most circumstances lol

Assume nothing
Believe nobody
Check everything

My Mum and possibly my Auntie

I trust no one.

I think blind trust in others is what often leads to devastating feelings of betrayal.

If you allow for the fact that even those who love you dearly are just flawed people and the fact they may let you down is a consequence of their failings and not a representation of how much they love you, then we would probably be able to sustain relationships more easily, be kinder and more forgiving.

In terms of trust not to repeat gossip/secrets - I would say 4 - my dm
dh and two of my friends.

Trust with my life? Probably just dm. But "trust with my life" could mean any number of things!

If you said 'how many people do you trust?', my instinctive response would be that I trust most of the people in my life to be generally well-meaning and not deliberately do anything unkind. But that I wouldn't trust many people (including myself) to never fuck up by accidentally forgetting something that's important to someone else, e.g. promising to do something and then it slips their mind. Some people are more reliable in that way than others.

Fortunately my life's pretty uneventful so I've never had to think about whether (other than DH) I'd 'trust people with my life', or worry about them 'betraying me'.

No one completely. That means I'm not disappointed. Learned that one the hard way.

I want to say my husband, my mum, and my dad but realistically just my husband.

None. Barely trust myself

My husband. Maybe my best friend. Definitely not my mother, unless you mean trust her to do the thing I’d least want in any given situation.

No one except the pilot of any aircraft I'm on.

And definitely no one in my family.

I don't know what this says about me but I'd find it easier to count people I wouldn't trust. If we're talking friends, family, colleagues rather than casual acquaintances. I don't tend to share my very deepest feelings with anyone but that's not lack of trust, it just doesn't seem necessary and I'm concerned about boring people with talking about myself.

One - one of my best friends. I'd trust him with everything

Only my husband

I think it depends what you mean by 'trust'.

Trust to do the right thing ?
Trust to keep a secret?
Trust to turn up on time / commit to a promise?
Trust their judgement ?

I think there are different levels of trust and different reasons or concerns about breaking a trust.

The phrase "that would never betray me" sounds awfully dramatic. In what way ? By doing what ? 'Betray' is an unusual word to use in everyday life.