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Original poster

Access to other half's phone.

98 replies

seventyfour75 · 10/05/2023 14:33

Reading another thread got me wondering how much access do you have to your husband/partners phone?

Do you know the passcode and are you able to use it freely/see their messages?

DH & I don't have access to each other's phone at all. I don't know his passcode nor does he know mine.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 10/05/2023 14:35

I know his passcode and he knows mine, but the usage doesn't go further than Google maps / food ordering. I have no reason to look through his phone.

Pip1402 · 10/05/2023 14:37

We know each other's codes but would always ask before using them. We would never just read through messages or browse their phone for anything, not that I have anything to hide.

TheNachtzehrer · 10/05/2023 14:39

I know his passcode and he knows mine, but usage is generally limited to "one of us is driving so the other answers their phone if it rings". I would never just look through it, and I'd be mad as hell if he just looked through mine..

thedogisstaring · 10/05/2023 14:40

Both know each other's passwords. Never look because quite frankly I'm not interested in what he does on his phone! Don't think he looks at mine but don't care if he does occasionally.

Plottingspringescape · 10/05/2023 14:42

Both know each other passcodes but trust that there won't be any snooping on either side.

greenspaces4peace · 10/05/2023 14:45

I know his, he knows mine. While driving/in the shower/yard we answer each others calls or texts.

Pahpahpotato · 10/05/2023 14:45

I don’t know his passcode at the moment as he’s using a temporary phone, but usually I do. I can’t say I have ever looked and don’t intend to, but I could, if I wanted. It would be terribly boring.
i suppose he’d be slightly more likely to look at mine, as I am a (sort of) SAHM and so have endless photos and videos of DC that he likes to see.

Travelfan2021 · 10/05/2023 14:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

murasaki · 10/05/2023 14:46

None, and happily so on both sides.

Iliketulips · 10/05/2023 14:46

We actually have the same passwords! Only time I've looked at his screen is if he's outside or in the bathroom and I know he's expecting to hear from someone - he's fine with this.

My phone packed up a couple of years ago and he told me I could use his while he was at home - I think I made a couple of phone calls. Never actually logged on and gone through things on there though.

mindutopia · 10/05/2023 14:49

None, I think it's quite weird really. I keep quite personal things on my phone about health and family issues and have personal conversations with friends. That's not to say that those things are off limits to dh, but I wouldn't specifically want him reading my medical notes or messages from friends about things going on in their lives or crazy communication with my crazy family members. Never mind work emails, which are actually off limits.

I absolutely would hand him my phone to take a photo or to look at something on google maps or whatever, but he doesn't have a way to access my phone and I don't his. I can't see why we'd have a reason to, unless it was a shared device. I don't have any interest in seeing what he does on his phone either.

OneAndDon3 · 10/05/2023 14:50

Yes, we use the same patterns for devices. It's handy for taking photos/looking things up. I wouldn't read his messages though unless he asked me to check something.

I have read a partners messages before and there was always something to find, his cheating ended our relationship. With my husband I've never felt the urge to check up on him. I trust him.

VivaLesTartes · 10/05/2023 14:55

Both have each others passcodes, wouldn't go snooping through his messages and he wouldn't find anything interesting in mine.

It's useful to be able to use each others phones in certain situations but I think we trust and respect each others privacy.

Piscesmumma1978 · 10/05/2023 14:57

Nope. We have our own phones with passcodes that neither know. Not sure why we'd want to check?

On the other hand, my face on dds face recognition 😂

Puppers · 10/05/2023 14:58

We can access each others phones but we wouldn't really need to without the other person being aware. We might hand the other our phone to read something interesting, look at photos we took of the kids, check something relating to a shared concern (bills, a holiday, banking etc). So in theory we'd both have plenty of opportunities in a given day to snoop through messages or whatever but we'd have no need to. It's just an unspoken agreement I guess. We have respect for each other and no reason to suspect anything.

gotmygroove · 10/05/2023 14:58

Well I have no idea what his phone passcode is. Everyone in house passcode on their tablets are the same. My phone passcode is different only to stop children going on my phone. Dp password no one is allowed to know....
I did once snoop on his phone and that's why he changed it. We was having a rocky patch and when he was drunk he called me Emma so you can imagine why I snooped. Still to this day don't know who Emma is but he did have her number...
Although dp knows my passcode he doesn't go on my phone or at least not that I'm aware of ha

Tessisme · 10/05/2023 14:59

We don't have passcodes because neither of us do our online banking on phones (we use our iPads). We use each other's phones all the time. Well, he uses mine to google stuff because the screen is bigger. I haven't scrolled through his messages or anything, but I have gone into a message thread to get the repeat tone to stop - if he's in the shower or whatever.

Shoxfordian · 10/05/2023 14:59

We don’t have each others passwords but his is some kind of swipe thing- I’ve used it before when he’s driving to answer it but I would never read any of his messages unless he wanted me to. He doesn’t know mine but it’s face recognition or a code - if he wants to google the crossword answers when we’re in bed then he just waves the phone in front of my face 😄

Hbh17 · 10/05/2023 14:59

No access. No need. Can't see why anyone should have access to another person's phone.

gogohmm · 10/05/2023 15:00

I know his, he knows mine for emergencies but as I have my own phone why would I use his? There's this thing called trust!

Whatcanidothistime · 10/05/2023 15:01

Dh could have mine but he isn’t interested

I have his passcode and check it daily , have him on find a friend etc so I can see where he is if not with me. Sounds awful written down but it’s a very , very complicated situation and he understands and doesn’t mind

LadyDanburysCane · 10/05/2023 15:02

DH knows my passcode. He knows all my personal passwords but none (obviously) of my work ones. I know his passwords but can’t access his ‘phone as it is a work phone with a double security layer and terms of use say no codes can be shared with others. He doesn’t have a personal phone.

He doesn’t “snoop” but will answer my phone if I’m away from it and will say things like “Jess has sent you a text… do you want me to open it?” if I’m washing up or cooking for example.

Neither of us has anything to hide.

AdoraBell · 10/05/2023 15:02

I know his passcode but have never looked at his phone. He doesn’t know mine. I’m not hiding anything, just don’t feel a need for him to access my phone.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 10/05/2023 15:08

We know each others passcodes but don’t use them.

We’ll answer each others calls when driving or if it looks important and the other is in the shower (I wouldn’t answer his best mate or him mine, but if MIL, one of the kids or work called we would). Wouldn’t answer texts though.

RunningRunningRunningRunningRunning · 10/05/2023 15:09

We both know one another's passcode, my phone always gets full so he has some apps I don't and if I need to take a pic of the kids and my phone is full I grab his. Our phones are setup to feed into the same cloud so anything either of us photograph, screenshot or is received via WhatsApp (pictures/videos) we can both see anyway. We are happy with this, he can read messages if he likes, he never would as he has no interest in my group chats or anything else. Same with him, i could snoop but I have no interest or need to.