Is this language acceptable in a school?

[Moreoften]

Just need some perspective as I'm not from Englad originally.

DD (5) in Reception had an international week at school. One of the days they had to come dressed in their country's national dress or flag etc. DD's dad is English but I thought DD can wear something that's related to my country. I didn't have a national dress and quite frankly I didn't bother doing much about it as I was busy and didn't want to buy (once again) something she'll wear once or twice.

On the morning she went to school I dressed DD in clothes that represented the 3 colours of my national flag. She looked lovely and I was pleased with my creativity.

DD came back from school and I asked her what did her teacher think of her costume, she said the teacher said she wasn't fancy! I said what did she mean? She said: 'The teacher said I had to go in the back row as my costume wasn't fancy'. Well, it turned out the teacher was trying to take a picture of the class and DD was standing in the front, so she asked her and other kids (who weren't 'fancy') to go at the back so that the 'fancy' costumes were in the front. It all made sense when I saw the picture on Tapestry.

But then I'm thinking is this an appropriate language to use with 4 and 5 year olds? 🤔 . To make little kids feel like they are not appreciated as much because they don't have a 'fancy' costume? It's not our case thankfully, but what if some parents can't afford a 'fancy' costume. I found the language and comparing of the costumes a bit odd but maybe that's because I'm not English?

(All for a picture on Tapestry).

It's not the first time when a parent finds her choice of language a bit inappropriate.

Still laughing at “unfancy fuckers”🤣🤣🤣

Same here, I actually had tears for about 20 minutes🤣

Let alone moving them around so no-one's offended by being at the back!
Seriously. I do wonder when we all became so sensitive!

It's not about being at the back though is it? It's about being moved to the back because your costume isn't good enough. The teacher chose to move them around and is what the thread is about.

The teacher wanted the nicest costumes to be visible in her photo. Dressing in different coloured normal clothes is not fancy dress. You have nothing to complain about.

You're in for a loooong 11 more years of compulsory education!

"Fancy" is a completely benign, innocent word. I can't imagine why you find it unacceptable.

The fact is you decided not to go to any trouble making an outfit. That's why your child was at the back of the group photo.

The teacher probably said "We'll have the children in fancy dress at the front" The children wearing orange white and green clothes were not in fancy dress. You need to go to some effort (not expense) to get your child at the front of the photo.

I'm now going to have to try really hard not to say "unfancy fuckers to the back please" next time I have to take a class photo.

It is a rubbish way of doing things because, for that age of child, the fanciness is going to be entirely dependent on their parents, not their own effort or ingenuity.

It also depends on family circumstances - a well-off family with a SAHP is going to have more time and money to throw at an elaborate costume than a struggling single-parent, for example.

I would think this too.

I was expecting the teacher to have said ‘your costume is shit you little wanker’ or something

Howling!

Exactly this.

Agree.

The word fancy is fine, but the way it came over was a bit insensitive.

How would you feel if you had spent ages looking for fancy dress for your child, only for them to be shoved in the back and some kid in a plain t-shirt took up the front of the pic? You sound bitter. Your child needs to learn that it's ok to not be at the front. The fact your child went to the front of the pic, and than moaned about being placed in the back, makes me think they maybe needed this lesson, as did you.

FFS. You couldn't be bothered making/creating a 'fancy' outfit then get pissy when teacher says it's not 'fancy' which bunging three colours on her isn't

Fancy dress costumes don't necessarily require money, but making your own takes time, creativity and effort. I don't think it's entirely fair to reward children who happen to have resourceful parents.

That said, like other PP, I expect the teacher said fancy-dress. Not simply fancy.

You sound ridiculous and completely missed the point of my OP. I don't care where DD sits for a ...Tapestry picture, it's the language that the teacher used and calling other costumes fancy vs the costumes that weren't 'fancy'. There were kids with just plain clothes that had their country's flag painted on their face for instance rather than a full on 'fancy' dress. It was a celebration of culture and diversity, not a fancy dress party.

DD for instance wore a gorgeous princess dress for their Prince and Princesses party, she just happened to have that nice dress. I couldn't care less where she sat for her Tapestry picture.

Clearly fancy dress or not

And not inappropriate

So you (understandably) didn’t make a huge effort with the dress up and dd just wore normal clothes in certain colours…. But you’re annoyed that the teacher pointed out she wasn’t in fancy dress…? So much so you posted a long thread on mumsnet…. Good luck with your kid being in school if you’re going to get offended at this!

You couldn't be bothered to help your child to appropriately take part in a learning experience with her peers and went out of your way to do nothing. And you think the problem is the teacher?

You're calling me ridiculous but have taken offence with your child's teacher using the term fancy when literally describing fancy dress outfits? It doesn't matter if it wasn't a fancy dress event. Traditional outfits more often than not are fancy. They are usually worn on special occasions and if a parent has taken the effort to send their kid to school in one, what is wrong with the teacher showcasing that?
You have 6 longs miserable years left in primary education if you're going to be upset over stuff like this.

I dressed her in the colours of my national flag, which is what the school asked. National flag colours, national costumes or something that represents your country. Did you read my OP?

I didn't bother buying her a fancy national dress that she would wear once or twice and would have cost at least £35.

You do understand the concept of fancy?

DD will be moving to a independent school from Year1.