Is this language acceptable in a school?

[Moreoften]

Just need some perspective as I'm not from Englad originally.

DD (5) in Reception had an international week at school. One of the days they had to come dressed in their country's national dress or flag etc. DD's dad is English but I thought DD can wear something that's related to my country. I didn't have a national dress and quite frankly I didn't bother doing much about it as I was busy and didn't want to buy (once again) something she'll wear once or twice.

On the morning she went to school I dressed DD in clothes that represented the 3 colours of my national flag. She looked lovely and I was pleased with my creativity.

DD came back from school and I asked her what did her teacher think of her costume, she said the teacher said she wasn't fancy! I said what did she mean? She said: 'The teacher said I had to go in the back row as my costume wasn't fancy'. Well, it turned out the teacher was trying to take a picture of the class and DD was standing in the front, so she asked her and other kids (who weren't 'fancy') to go at the back so that the 'fancy' costumes were in the front. It all made sense when I saw the picture on Tapestry.

But then I'm thinking is this an appropriate language to use with 4 and 5 year olds? 🤔 . To make little kids feel like they are not appreciated as much because they don't have a 'fancy' costume? It's not our case thankfully, but what if some parents can't afford a 'fancy' costume. I found the language and comparing of the costumes a bit odd but maybe that's because I'm not English?

(All for a picture on Tapestry).

It's not the first time when a parent finds her choice of language a bit inappropriate.

You've got a long journey ahead of you through the education years.

This.

Yes - I think the teacher probably asked the kids “in fancy dress” to stand at the front. As others have said, the term “fancy dress” has a particular meaning which is entirely distinct from “a fancy dress”. (Someone dressed up as Ronald McDonald is “in fancy dress”; the Princess of Wales wore “a fancy dress” to the Coronation (although “fancy” isn’t often chosen as an adjective in that context because of the risk of confusion!))

Yes “fancy dress” is an expression.
btw what country has no clothing item linked to past heritage?

I agree

So your child was effectively 'just' in mufti? You yourself said that you didn't make much effort, so not even your country's flag pinned onto their clothes for example. Of course the teacher would bring the 'fancier' outfits to the front.
This isn't worth worrying about.

Dressing in cultural clothing shouldn't be labelled as 'fancy dress' though, even if that's what the teacher did mean.

Regardless - why would she be sent to the back? "You aren't wearing fancy dress. Go stand at the back" or "you aren't fancy go stand at the back" either one is BS and horrible for a young child to hear. They should have plenty of space o tapestry to upload other pics of kids in fancier costumes.

For the person who said the OP didn't make an effort and its her fault etc. Not everyone can afford to buy stuff. Finances can be v tight at times. I think that's a terribly mean judgement.

Totally agree

U didn’t put any effort in and others did, so they would be at the front and yr child at the back.
So really yr fault she was at the back, just apologise to her that u didn’t have the time.

Personally I don’t know about the wording but in a way I wouldn’t have liked a teacher making my child feel like they weren’t as well as other children- my children would never buy costumes, and I’m neither artistic nor inventive so we just muddle through- I’d hate a teacher to draw attention to that!!

My new favourite insult.

Ffs🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s really not a big deal. Probably meant fancy dress.

As a former teacher - they shouldn't.

The teacher didn't realise your child was dressed in the colours of a national flag. She thought she was in normal clothes.

Of course the teacher shouldn't be sending children she doesn't deem as having made enough effort to the back!

That's definitely a great way to make young children feel like crap.

I think the teacher could've handled it a bit more diplomatically rather than make your child feel inferior. She could have taken a photo and then said 'Let's have one more photo with x, y and z at the front because we couldn't see their outfits in the first photo'

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don't think the teacher handled it perfectly but that's life. Does everything that comes out of your mouth always meet every criteria for inoffensive, inclusive, supportive while avoiding sounding insincere? No? Leave the teacher alone. She probably meant fancy dress anyway, which again may not be the perfect thing to say but seriously with what they have to deal with I'll take good enough and not expect perfect at all times

I'm not a teacher btw

PS: are you Irish? I am and it was just the whole tri-colour flag thing made me wonder! I like the green, white and gold idea of so

Child is asked to come dressed as their national flag. Child dresses as their national flag. Child gets sent to back because their flag isn’t good enough.

Why is the OP being given grief?

I am also not from the UK though I live here now. I totally agree with the op that it doesn't sit well with me. They should not be 'rewarding' ie. Be at the front or not ie hidden at the back based on whether they are wearing a full national dress or just referencing the country with colours of the flag. For me it feels rude and the teacher should know better than that. Who cares about whether the costumes are at the front or back?

Have you any idea how tricky it is to take even one photo of a class of 5 year olds? Let alone moving them around so no-one's offended by being at the back!
Seriously. I do wonder when we all became so sensitive!

OP's being given grief because she dared to use the phrase 'I didn't bother doing much' and people will jump on the tiniest thing to belittle someone.