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Original poster

Accused of stealing dd went mad

127 replies

Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 12:00

Ok so a few days back my daughters friend went into a shop. He was just getting snacks /drink ect. Then 2 people came in. Reached over the counter sort of area and ran out with a handful of vapes. The shop owner did not gey the chance to stop them.

Anyway daughters friend went to pay for his stuff. And the owner accused him of being with the people who stole the vapes he kept telling them he does not know them. Shop owner forced daughters friend to pay for the vapes..

He went back to my daughters house and was upset daughter asked what was wrong. So she took his bank card and went back to the shop and she went mad. Told them he did not know them he has no idea who they are. And told them to give his money back . They refused and said he must be guilty as he paid it .. she then said no you forced him to and went on to tell they you can't accuse people just because they are in the same shop. She also went on to say how they have taken advantage of a man with disabilities. He has autism.

She asked for money back several times. They still refused . She the said she was gonna take 15.00 worth of stuff from their shop. So she started to. They said they were gonna called the police. She said ok. Then we can explain to the police that you have taken advantage of a man with disabilities and we can check at that cctv.

In the end the gave her friends money back .

Did daughter do the right thing ? I mean she got his money back which I suppose is what they wanted . Not sure what I would have done really 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 15:25

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 08/05/2023 15:12

Your daughter did the right thing you ahould be proud of her but the dickheads on here will tell you she's wrong

Thank you . I have acknowledged there could have been a better way. But when we are pissed of we don't always do that. Shop keeper did not exactly do the right thing did he.

OP posts:
ArcaneWireless · 08/05/2023 15:32

Why has she got the PIN number?

Cosycover · 08/05/2023 15:32

I think your daughter is awesome

Original poster
Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 15:35

ArcaneWireless · 08/05/2023 15:32

Why has she got the PIN number?

She just does. He has her pin number as well. She also knows my pin number. And I know hers

OP posts:
JellyBeanFactory · 08/05/2023 15:37

Is your DD a child or an adult?

Original poster
Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 15:43

JellyBeanFactory · 08/05/2023 15:37

Is your DD a child or an adult?

She's an adult . But she is younger than her age . She also has boarder line personality disorder.

I never said any of this because I felt it was not relevant.

OP posts:
quietnightmare · 08/05/2023 16:08

What a legend

GlassQueen · 08/05/2023 18:40

I find it hypocritical that a poster most critical of others actions and words thinks that the term “idiot” is acceptable.

HitsAndMrs · 08/05/2023 18:48

Your DD sounds amazing. Well done to her.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 08/05/2023 19:25

Some posters will tear into an OP for literally anything. It’s like sport to them.

They don’t come here to be supportive to anyone ever, it’s like they think offering support would be weakness and pointless, they come here to be cunts to OPs in order to feel better about themselves.

It’s the only explanation. 😆

Original poster
Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 19:58

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 08/05/2023 19:25

Some posters will tear into an OP for literally anything. It’s like sport to them.

They don’t come here to be supportive to anyone ever, it’s like they think offering support would be weakness and pointless, they come here to be cunts to OPs in order to feel better about themselves.

It’s the only explanation. 😆

Oh well never mind. This is not really a sensitive thread. So it's not to much of an issue . But yes I have seen that sort of thing on MN in general. Op can be in a really bad place and they can get ripper apart .

OP posts:
HappiDaze · 08/05/2023 22:20

Good for her

Hibye23289 · 08/05/2023 22:24

Wow I think she did great

Nishky32 · 08/05/2023 22:32

JudgeRudy · 08/05/2023 14:01

I think actually your intention must be to permanently deprive so if she'd have said she will return the items later I don't think that's technically theft.

Show quote history

That’s correct. There are legal definitions of appropriation, dishonesty and intention to permanently deprive and it is not as simple as guilty because you picked it up or not guilty because you didn’t leave the shop.

Nishky32 · 08/05/2023 22:34

Talia99 · 08/05/2023 14:29

Totally untrue legally. Theft is committed when the item is taken off the shelf. It’s just easier to prove someone is guilty if they’ve passed all the payment points.

Loudly announcing an intent to steal (as the OP’s daughter did) would work just as well as proof.

Show quote history

No it isn’t committed when the item is taken off the shelf!

MaidOfSteel · 08/05/2023 22:37

I'd be proud of her for standing up for a disabled friend if she was mine. Good on her.

Talia99 · 09/05/2023 07:08

Nishky32 · 08/05/2023 22:34

No it isn’t committed when the item is taken off the shelf!

Show quote history

The offence of theft is dishonest appropriation of property belonging to another with intention to permanently deprive. The ‘appropriation’ occurs when the item is taken from the shelf. There are multiple convicted shoplifters out there who have been stopped by security before leaving the store with items.

Whether or not the OP’s daughter met the other requirements of statute would be another matter. However, a loud proclamation of an intention to take the items without paying unless the shopkeeper handed over money would serve as useful proof of both an intention to permanently deprive and dishonesty.

Please explain why you think the offence is not committed when the item is taken from the shelf?

Nishky32 · 09/05/2023 07:21

Appropriation is not committed when an item is lifted from the shelf in a shop.

Talia99 · 09/05/2023 07:22

I disagree.

Original poster
Oneoff45 · 09/05/2023 07:48

Nishky32 · 09/05/2023 07:21

Appropriation is not committed when an item is lifted from the shelf in a shop.

My thoughts are its not when an it has Been picked from the self
More like if you (attempt) to leave the store without paying. Other wise everyone would be theifs.

OP posts:
Farmerama1 · 09/05/2023 07:55

Good for her. I probably would have threatened the shop with the police, but her method was probably more effective. The police don’t bother to show up unless you are an actively campaigning republican or an environmental campaigner trying to save the world for your grand children.

Talia99 · 09/05/2023 08:01

Oneoff45 · 09/05/2023 07:48

My thoughts are its not when an it has Been picked from the self
More like if you (attempt) to leave the store without paying. Other wise everyone would be theifs.

Show quote history

It’s when you ‘appropriate’ it, i.e. assume the rights of an owner. Picking it off the shelf intending to pay - not appropriating the rights of an owner. Picking it off the shelf not intending to pay - is appropriating the rights of the owner. It may be easier to prove the offence if someone leaves without paying but it’s not required as an element of the offence.

I understand you want to support your daughter but I have to wonder how many of the ‘you go girl’ posters on this thread would be happy for their DC to risk arrest and a possible criminal record in a similar situation.

Original poster
Oneoff45 · 09/05/2023 08:09

Talia99 · 09/05/2023 08:01

It’s when you ‘appropriate’ it, i.e. assume the rights of an owner. Picking it off the shelf intending to pay - not appropriating the rights of an owner. Picking it off the shelf not intending to pay - is appropriating the rights of the owner. It may be easier to prove the offence if someone leaves without paying but it’s not required as an element of the offence.

I understand you want to support your daughter but I have to wonder how many of the ‘you go girl’ posters on this thread would be happy for their DC to risk arrest and a possible criminal record in a similar situation.

Show quote history

I'm not sure her true intention was to steal. More to push him into giving the money back. When they said about calling the police she told them to do it. And we can all watch the cctv. So she was intending om hanging around . If her true intention was to steal would have just grabbed the items and left.

OP posts:
BottleBottoms · 09/05/2023 10:45

Oneoff45 · 08/05/2023 15:43

She's an adult . But she is younger than her age . She also has boarder line personality disorder.

I never said any of this because I felt it was not relevant.

Show quote history

If I were her I'd be interested in exploring that BPD diagnosis.

Emotionally younger than her chronological age, a fierce sense of right and wrong that overrides all else in the moment with a strong desire to stand up for the victimised or downtrodden, and drawn to autistic people as friends? Just those few tiny details, combined with the number of young autistic women who spend years being misdiagnosed with BPD/EUPD instead, is enough to make me go Hmm

Either way, she did the wrong thing for the right reason. Arguably, threatening to steal someone's property in order to pressure them into handing over money could be considered a (fairly low-level) form of extortion, and the fact the friend shouldn't have been pressured into giving the money in the first place probably wouldn't be much of a defence. It was a noble motivation but not great judgement.

2bazookas · 09/05/2023 10:48

She should have gone straight to police.

The shop keeper demanded money with menaces; he's a crook. This won't be the first time.