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Original poster

Insults/comments that have stayed with you

155 replies

hellocats · 06/05/2023 08:26

Has anyone ever said something so mean and cutting that it's stayed with you for years and years?

A boy at school said I looked like a man, this was between the ages of 12-14 so very sensitive age. It ruined my confidence, and even now when I'm in my early 30s, it's still there in my head. I don't believe any compliments if I receive them, and I've had very low standards in men because quite frankly I've been amazed a heterosexual man would be attracted to me in the first place.

No amount of therapy or reassurance from others will eradicate it from my head.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

NeedCoffeeNowPlease · 06/05/2023 08:29

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

I don't believe that. Usually it's because they're just mean.

trying29 · 06/05/2023 08:29

My grandma once said to me when I was about 16, that ‘trying29 appears slim but actually she’s quite fat’

i always remember that

90stalgia · 06/05/2023 08:30

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

Only in the world of YA fiction, sadly.

NeedCoffeeNowPlease · 06/05/2023 08:31

I suspect we all have some things that stick around.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 06/05/2023 08:33

My exhusband said I had "piggy eyes" and it knocked my confidence so much...

My father said, when I was 14yrs after he found out I kissed a boy " you don't want to be known as buck toothed and easy"

Although he had a fiddle with me!! I had very sticky out teeth and I hate anyone being mean to people with teeth that stick out.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 06/05/2023 08:34

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

What bollocks

It's because he has grown up with a misogynistic view of girls and women

RampantIvy · 06/05/2023 08:37

hellocats · 06/05/2023 08:26

Has anyone ever said something so mean and cutting that it's stayed with you for years and years?

A boy at school said I looked like a man, this was between the ages of 12-14 so very sensitive age. It ruined my confidence, and even now when I'm in my early 30s, it's still there in my head. I don't believe any compliments if I receive them, and I've had very low standards in men because quite frankly I've been amazed a heterosexual man would be attracted to me in the first place.

No amount of therapy or reassurance from others will eradicate it from my head.

Something similar was said to DD at school when she was in year 11. The teacher had gone out of the classroom and this awful, misogynistic excuse for a boy said in front of the whole class "I bet you look like a 12 year old boy without your clothes on".

I reported him to the school, who much to my pleasant surprise, took my complaint seriously. I think they had already had several complaints about him.

PegasusReturns · 06/05/2023 08:38

Cute boy at school told my friend that he could never date me because although I was nice and funny I “wasn’t exactly pretty” I was about 13 and it wasn’t the insult that killed me, particularly as I actually scrub up pretty well, but the rejection and humiliation has stayed with me.

Plump82 · 06/05/2023 08:38

I was young, about 10 and my neighbour said my legs were too chunky for shorts. I was average sized for a kid, no where near chunky. All through teenhood and as an young adult I was never big. But I hated myself and now have a terrible relationship with food and I am now too chunky for shorts. I look back at photos of me when I was younger and what I'd do to have the figure I had but hated so much.

readbooksdrinktea · 06/05/2023 08:38

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

Do we really still trot out this BS?

Hoppinggreen · 06/05/2023 08:39

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

Not true, and even if it were so what?

ChristmasJumpers · 06/05/2023 08:39

A boy at school once told me I look like the wicked witch of the west because of my nose. It has never left me. I can't have photos taken of my side profile and even tried a liquid nose job (very painful and the result wasn't noticeable).
I've just had my baby and I'm so worried she'll have inherited my nose and go through the same!

Mummyof287 · 06/05/2023 08:41

My dad told me once during a rebellious streak in my late teens/early twenties that he was ashamed to have someone like me as a daughter.He apologised briefly the next day, but not properly,and you don't forget something like that.

He was a great dad to me during my childhood, but after things deteriorated during my teens, and then that comment, things were never the same and there was lots of intermittent underlying conflict/awkwardness between us until he died 18mths ago.

RudsyFarmer · 06/05/2023 08:42

Being called fat and lazy. Those two things I can never shake off even though they were decades ago.

Margot78 · 06/05/2023 08:45

Dh said I always see the worst in people. It destroyed my self esteem and image of myself.

pictoosh · 06/05/2023 08:51

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

The teenage boys who verbally abused me at school didn't like me, they wanted to attack me.

Put down the ropey teen fiction.

ohfook · 06/05/2023 08:52

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:28

When a teenage boy says something mean to a teenage girl it’s often because he actually likes her.

No it's actually because he's showing off to his friends.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 06/05/2023 08:54

In my first office job, a dickhead colleague asked me one day "Does it bother you that you're the fattest person in this office?". Sadly I didn't have the wits about me to reply "does it bother you that you're the biggest wanker in this office?"
I was the fattest person, but only because everyone else was thin. I was a size 14 at the time, I wasn't obese. But even if I had been, he was still a dickhead

Slavica · 06/05/2023 08:55

My DD (15) told me that yesterday a boy in her class said to her best friend the friend reminds him of Pinocchio. The friend asked why, the boy answered it's because of her nose.

The friend was angry, of course, but my DD said the worst thing was that the boy was not mean and did not mean to insult her, he just blurted out what came to his mind. He kept digging a hole for himself, saying it's not a bad thing, it's just because she's Italian. 😳

I later thought that this sounds like something that might stay with the friend for a long time and make you self-conscious... just a throwaway away comment of a 15 year old boy. I wonder if boys get insulted and remember such insults in the same way. I know I did (my head is too big, legs too short, not slim enough; it took a while to believe that someone might actually find me attractive).

WomanBitingATowel · 06/05/2023 08:56

readbooksdrinktea · 06/05/2023 08:38

Do we really still trot out this BS?

Show quote history

Well, Mn is still addicted to the more general ‘If someone behaves in a less than friendly way to you, they’re just jealous’ mantra, which is almost as ridiculous.

Slavica · 06/05/2023 08:59

Oh @ChristmasJumpers , your experience was very much like my DD's best friend's (my previous post). So sorry!

WalterWitty · 06/05/2023 09:01

Girls at school who said my teeth looked yellow.

my sister saying I had the biggest nose

haveyouopenedyourbowelstoday · 06/05/2023 09:08

My school nurse (boarding school early 80's) told me my acne was the evil coming out in me.

spottybug · 06/05/2023 09:12

I had a hair cut and got told my head looked like a potato

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