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Original poster

Insults/comments that have stayed with you

155 replies

hellocats · 06/05/2023 08:26

Has anyone ever said something so mean and cutting that it's stayed with you for years and years?

A boy at school said I looked like a man, this was between the ages of 12-14 so very sensitive age. It ruined my confidence, and even now when I'm in my early 30s, it's still there in my head. I don't believe any compliments if I receive them, and I've had very low standards in men because quite frankly I've been amazed a heterosexual man would be attracted to me in the first place.

No amount of therapy or reassurance from others will eradicate it from my head.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 06/05/2023 13:26

I'm not surprised you got divorced

ToBeOrNotToBee · 06/05/2023 13:29

At a friend's birthday party when I was around 11 a boy said quite loudly that I couldn't dance.

I haven't danced since.

AutumnOcean · 06/05/2023 13:36

I have a birthmark on a highly visible part of my body. When I was only about 7 or 8 years old a classmate told me it made me look like a monster. It absolutely destroyed me.

Staggersaurus · 06/05/2023 13:39

A boy at school once roughly grabbed me and whispered in my ear “you are fat and ugly” and just walked away laughing. I was neither but for some head-screwy reason it sunk deep into my brain.

A few years later his brother committed suicide and he was imprisoned for a violent crime, so looking back on it I think he must have been living a pretty screwed up life. So whhhhyyyy did my brain never forget what he said and still kind of believe it to this day 😩

BrutusMcDogface · 06/05/2023 13:40

I spent most of my secondary school years being picked on for being ugly and having a big nose/ looking like a witch. Confidence in my appearance is rock bottom and always has been.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 06/05/2023 13:42

I was always talll and athletic at school. Not skinny and not fat. I don’t have a lot of body fat. However lots of the girls in my primary class were petite. One boy used to call me fat frequently and say I was like a boy. I was a tomboy - didn’t wear dresses & skirts. He never let up and even at the age of 8 knew he was jealous of my academic achievements as I ranked higher than him. (In the days when children were put in an order according to test results!)
He continued during high school even though we were at separate single sex schools. Anyone who met him there had been told awful things about me. They used to tell me what he said. Things like ‘oh X said you were fat but you’re not…’ It was soul destroying.
I developed anorexia at age 13 until 17 and had very low self esteem. I believe his behaviour was in part to blame.
Ive conquered my demons and am now a slim healthy 40 odd year old.
It gave me great pleasure when I saw him on a night out in my late 20s. He was being very complimentary and informed me his marriage had failed. He asked for my phone number and I told him firmly ‘No, you’re a horrible person.,.’He was bewildered. Obviously no self awareness!

UrbanMage · 06/05/2023 13:54

My step dad telling me I was "the frog, not the princess" as a kid.
Being called a heffer by a doctor in my early twenties. I was a size 10.
Being known as "Fat mage" through college. I did 6 hours of dance a week and was thin.
My husband's awful brother saying to my DH "Didn't know you like fatties" the first time I met the whole family.
Someone in my step mums family not believing I was a teacher as they thought I was"blonde and thick".
My ex's constant emotional abuse...

It's no wonder I have zero self confidence

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 06/05/2023 13:56

I don’t remember much from school although I was definitely bullied and excluded… all very insidious….all very ‘Girls School’. Now avoid all girl gatherings.

However my ex gains a gold medal in the put downs he issued during my 20+ years of marriage. Not sure I’ll ever unravel them, but I’m trying hard.

TheSeer · 06/05/2023 13:57

Yeah my brother, used to always call me "N***r Nose"

We no longer speak

BlueKaftan · 06/05/2023 13:58

A boy told my friend that he thought I had big hips. I was 11 and still remember it 44 years later.

foxlover47 · 06/05/2023 14:04

My friend at school told me when I wore my hair up I had a fish face , never quite liked wearing it up since
My work friend when I was 19 told my colleague how pretty she was and looked fab in anything , turned to me and said "fox has the body of one of them old renaissance painting women "

momager1 · 06/05/2023 14:04

my auntie visiting from australia.. patted my hips and said... oh my. I see your sister got the hips from our side.. you must have got yours from your da's side. I was 16 and 120 lbs max. My sister was 14 and maybe 100. It has always stayed with me. I am NC with my sister for 5 years now as she is toxic. We had the misfortune of being on the same plane with her both ways in October last year and my lovely husband looked at her and then said to me.. are you SURE you are the older one? and where is her husband..did she EAT HIM. Yes it was very mean of him and i did pull him up on it but inside i was twirling and smiling

momager1 · 06/05/2023 14:08

PS.. she did not eat him lol.. he was off at the airport concession stands getting her pizza hut

NoisyBrain · 06/05/2023 14:11

@Staggersaurus I'm wondering if we went to the same school....

Years ago my DSis did some temp work for the company that shared office space with mine. I was chatting to one of their employees in the kitchen and I made a casual comment about how different DSis and I are from each other. He replied "Yes...she's quiet". From that moment I was paranoid that everyone saw me as an annoying loudmouth and it really upset me.

I was out with DP and his friend once, I forget why but DP made a joke about putting a tampon up my nose and his friend (who is usually lovely) said "Well it'd fit". Of course he didn't know how painfully conscious I am of my big nose, but thanks mate...

Rockbird · 06/05/2023 14:12

Teenage me walking along minding my own business and a group of men across the road called me a fat piece of shit. I'll never 35 years later I can remember that feeling.

newtb · 06/05/2023 14:17

Just before I was 3, my 'd'm told me that I didn't deserve anything. Was in December 58, just before my beloved grandfather's funeral. Had she said 'deserved nothing' it would've had less impact. Was said in anger, too.

bluebird3 · 06/05/2023 14:20

As a teen I was wearing pedal pusher jean shorts that came just below my knee. My sister looked me up and down and then started talking as if she was just making a comment and said, 'I've always found that shorts that hit at the knee make hips look really wide.' Gee...thanks

IWantThatBigDiamondInCharliesCrown · 06/05/2023 14:30

As a child my mother said I had long arms like a monkey. The boy who lived across the street called me fat not long after.

In primary school a boy told me I had a huge nose with an enormous bump and it became a thing, with classmates standing round me staring at my nose.

There's nothing wrong with my arms or nose, and I wasn't fat, but the damage was done. I have such low self esteem that I've ended up in a succession of abusive relationships. I see the red flags, I'm hurt by the abuse, but I never stand up for myself. It's been easier to avoid relationships and close friendships. Being an introvert has been a bit of a blessing.

Mooshamoo · 06/05/2023 14:31

My father abandoned me.

My cousin on my father's side said to me :

"Your father wanted nothing to do with you".

dishyrishi · 06/05/2023 14:33

Yes, one of my husbands friends wrote in our wedding book that the bride needed a dress that fitted her, the man is a piece of shit and not seen him Since that day

Ginnybaby · 06/05/2023 14:35

I’m quite a senior manager, I was saying hello to some staff and commented on something, I can’t recall what it was, something like the rain, or something, and one of the men said “ at least you’ve got a nice handbag “

I still can’t get over it. I said what? And then ignored it, but it’s such a weird comment it stayed with me.

Worriedaboutrapecourts · 06/05/2023 14:37

I'm Type 1 diabetic and my husband wouldn't allow me the courtesy of preparing for pregnancy, as a result of which my son was born with heart problems and a cleft lip and palate. He spent most of his 24 weeks of life in hospital, enduring operations and being ventilated, but we had him home for Easter and the in laws had been invited to our house for the day.

As soon as they were out of the car, MIL thrust a fluffy toy thing at me. She said, in such a hateful manner, "I had to get him this, I couldn't get him an egg, not even his mother could eat it".

There were many other things she, and her cunt of a son, said to me over the years but this one was the most vicious.

momager1 · 06/05/2023 14:53

@ worriedaboutrapecourts I hope you left that man and his horrible family. my love to you about your baby

Worriedaboutrapecourts · 06/05/2023 14:59

Thank you @momager1 Flowers . Yes, I am free now and very content with my life.

Eyeslikethesea · 06/05/2023 15:00

In primary 6 a group of boys surrounded me and started chanting “ugly, ugly” whilst poking me. Just one instance of a LOT of bullying but that has never left me