Insults/comments that have stayed with you

[hellocats]

Has anyone ever said something so mean and cutting that it's stayed with you for years and years?

A boy at school said I looked like a man, this was between the ages of 12-14 so very sensitive age. It ruined my confidence, and even now when I'm in my early 30s, it's still there in my head. I don't believe any compliments if I receive them, and I've had very low standards in men because quite frankly I've been amazed a heterosexual man would be attracted to me in the first place.

No amount of therapy or reassurance from others will eradicate it from my head.

Ex boyfriend constantly pointing out my cellulite, telling me I had gained weight and calling me thick on many occasions.

A teacher at school checking if girls had a thigh gap (no idea how/why this came up at school - we were about 10) saying when she was young she could fit a cotton reel between her thighs.

Really tall willowy mean girl in my class could, I couldn't. The only time I've had a noticeable thigh gap was when I was anorexic.

Same teacher told my parents I was "too good" and she couldn't wait for the day she could tell me off about something. Weirdo.

I was told that i have "the most annoying accent " 🙄 This was from someone from Essex. I'm from the north.
Still pisses me off !

Many, many insults about my unattractiveness. From as early as 7 years old. I've had this from girls, boys, family members, teachers, other adults. I'm 50 now and yes the comments do stay with you.

Had an awful relationship and emotional abuse from my mother growing up and she was basically horrible to everyone including my own kids. She recently died and my daughter told me I treated my mother like a punch bag ! And made out my mother was a lovely person Used DARVO on the whole situation and made me feel abused all over again .

Why didn’t you die?

“You have a face like a tranny”
”you could never be a model with a nose that big” (it was never even a plan, other people used to suggest it but years later I went on to model)
”you can’t walk properly”
”you don’t make eye contact with people when they look at you”
And after hearing all of that over the years some kind soul that worked at a club I used to frequent told me “you walk around here like you own the place and clearly think you’re so attractive - you’re not”

Many times people have told me I look beautiful but it’s the horrid comments that stayed with me. Celebrities put themselves out there and moan about being trolled (and I know it’s horrible and those people need to get a life and not leave awful nasty comments). But so many of us have been “trolled” in real life without asking for it!!

Utter bastard

I was frequently asked "why your sister is so pretty and you are so ugly" by kids at school. we looked very different, my lovely sister tall and blond and I'm short, fat and dark. Also called "crocodile" by boys who adored my sister... I'm an adult now but still feel like I'm not all that ))

when I was 17yo, my boyfriend (who I absolutely adored, in a besotted first live way) made fun of my ‘Roman nose’ and the way I walked. He later dumped me and I felt so self conscious walking through the common room afterwards, I kept my head down and consciously tried to walk differently. My nose and walk are firmly average, I now realise.

Also, told that "you need to see a head doctor" by a teacher in front of my class (and my crush) when I was about 14. They all laughed.

When I was 19yo, my favourite aunt bought me a gel filled bra for Christmas. She didn’t mean any harm. Ok, my boobs were tiny, but it had never ever bothered me that they were tiny. But all of a sudden I was so self conscious as I felt that my boobs were something that needed to be fixed. The gel bra was bloody awful, really cold to the touch and probably shrivelled my boobs up even more 😂

DP has told me at various times that i'm selfish and lazy.

So called friend and colleague clearly didn't want a ruffian like me working at our newly refurbished branch. Apparently me working there was 'detrimental to her, the customers, the optometrist and the practice in general' it was one fucking day! I practically ran the other branch so why she would say that to me was such a shock. I quit not long after because her words hurt so much. Zero support from head office despite cctv recording everything she said. I suffer with low self esteem and feel like I'm going to fail at everything I do. She really has no idea the impact those words have had on my life.

Someone I was going out with said I was very attractive but sometimes I wasn't because of my eyes, but he couldn't put his finger on it. If I am tired my eyes get sunken, it's a family thing. I can only think he meant that. But now I often think I could look nice if only it wasn't for my eyes. I don't normally like photos of me but recently had some selfies with OH when we were away, and I look good. I now realise it is because I am wearing sunglasses and couldn't see my eyes. That comment of his definitely stayed with me. There isn't anything wrong with my eyes, but he has made me dislike them. He was no oil painting either, but they very often aren't, these men who like to keep women down. I would totally bite back now.

When I was a child, about 6 years old, I called for my best friend next door to come out and play. I knocked the door, her mum answered and I walked in happily and asked if Cassie could come play out. Cassie's mom said 'Come in why don't you!' sarcastically and in that moment I felt so small. I had assumed I was welcome. I trusted I'd be welcome. This one episode has stayed with me and I longer have the confidence that people will be pleased to see me. I assume that people will see me as an inconvenience and I doubt my likeability.

This is grotesque. It’s not even a discipline thing like ‘oh well that generation had harsher childhoods’.

The breathing in when you went places @Princessfuckingpeach …. OMG. So awful for girls/teens. I know it can happen to boys too but nowhere near as much

Working in a pub, had one customer who didn't like me, and the feeling was mutual. Thought he was going to be smart and called me "Val Derma". Back in the day "Valderma" was a treatment for spots. I did have few spots - but nothing drastic.
He was absolutely raging with my response - told him looked liked "Lord Lucan". He actually was identical - that was the end of his verbal diahorrea.

*Diarrhoea

The German teacher in senior school said to me, I bey you wish you looked like your sister. I said to him, "No, I'm happy I got the brains." But it stuck with me cos she is beautiful.

So, even though I'm told I'm attractive - eg at Uni guys would say things like oh the parties started now the attractive girl is here - I know I'm less attractive than my sister. Even though my step kids who I met when they were adults have told me it's BS (their dad must have told them about my hang up), I still don't believe anyone.

Many years ago a friend and I were discussing, hypothetically, whether we'd want to have children. I said that I thought I did want children and she said 'oh really? I don't think you're very maternal at all!'.

She does have form for speaking without thinking first and at the time I laughed it off, but the comment stuck with me for years. I now have a lovely 8 month old DS and I think I'm a perfectly decent mum, but all through my pregnancy I worried about whether I'd be sufficiently maternal.

When I was about 13. I was walking home along the road when a van driver stuck his arm out of the window and did a wanker sign at me. I was the only one around so must have been aimed at me. I just don't know why anyone would do that.

I'm 47 now!

A boy at school once told me I had a beak for a nose.
My dad told me I was used goods and no one would want to marry me after he found out I’d slept with my bf at 19. My mum called me a slut for not waiting until I was married.

Nose thing has stuck, it took a long time to build a relationship back with my parents.

I had long wavy hair at school. My mother one day, in her wisdom, decided to take me to the hairdresser for a modern hairstyle involving graduated layers and a puffy fringe, just above my shoulders, for a much older person. I think I was around 10 years old. I wasn't consulted and was quite upset.

I was bullied relentlessly and immediately. It ruined my confidence for ages. Luckily it was just my hair and I scraped it back when I was finally allowed to months later. She was a horrible, spiteful woman and wouldn't listen to me. I saw an old photo today, with the hair, that reminded me. It did look terrible and I don't know what she was thinking. It brought it all back. How cruel people can be.

I hope it's fine for me to post that as I'm sure there will be far more serious examples than mine.

My dad once said to one of my friends, who encountered him in a professional meeting, about me: "I wish Thisisall would be more like you. The only thing she does is kick against things." It has been almost 20 years, but still hurts. He still perceives me in the same way.

I never did anything to invite this sort of criticism.