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Original poster

Drinking when 2 year old is in bed

109 replies

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 22:00

DP is on holiday with friends so it’s just me and DS. I have had 3 glasses of wine tonight and I feel “happy” but not drunk if you know what I mean. DH rang earlier and was shocked that I have drunk 3 glasses of wine. I would certainly be capable to react if anything were to go wrong, emergency etc. He’s made me feel like a really bad mum. Just thought I’d get some opinions. If I am in the wrong I won’t do it again.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 06/05/2023 08:38

Redstopgreengo · 06/05/2023 07:25

Nope, my partner doesn't drink at home. One of us is always sober. If he's having a night out or away with work then I don't drink. It's not living life by what ifs it's just being sensible and knowing what you're comfortable with. If my child needed me and I didn't wake up for them because I'd had a drink then I'd feel awful so I don't risk it.

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Same here. I am breastfeeding but drank low or no alcohol anyway when alone with kids. My husband would have a max of two weak beers but stopped drinking altogether if alone with the children because of the possibility of co-sleeping with our eldest.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/05/2023 08:40

"What kind of mother gets drunk in front of her children"

What a sexist pig. Why mother? Why not parent?

I'd ask what he does when he is in sole charge of the child when you are on a night out or away for the weekend butnI suspect he has never been in sole charge of his own child.

nicetoseetgesunsout · 06/05/2023 09:31

It's absolutely fine, you've done nothing wrong. My children are now 23 and 18 and I've never had to take them to A&E in the middle of the night. None of my friends / family had to either; it's highly unlikely that you will need to if your child is well. If your DP is concerned about your ability to parent why did he bugger off on holiday with his friends, leaving you alone to do so?
I hope you're not beating yourself up about having a few glasses of wine.
Oh and on the driving front; I have quite a few friends who don't drive for different reasons and my mum has never learnt to: cost of learning and maintaining a car, nerves, environmental impact, not needing to as live in London. I can drive and did drive when my kids were young but I don't need to now as public transport is great in London. I do have friends outside of London who don't drive.
But, as PP suggested - ill keep on living in my London bubble - I didn't realise there was such a thing as I believe most Londoners do get out and about - those I know definitely do, we actually enjoy visiting the countryside and costal places.

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MeinKraft · 06/05/2023 09:50

Sounds like he was trying to provoke you into an argument and I would be worried about why that is.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2023 09:51

Jansetten · 06/05/2023 01:51

I mean we all go to sleep and are unconscious when our children are also asleep?? Is that not somewhat similar to having three glasses of wine, if an emergency were to happen and you’d be waken up you’d be drowsy and also somewhat impaired by sleep.

Not remotely comparable being sleepy as opposed to inebriated!

You'd wake up & respond pretty quickly to a crisis if you had just been asleep; factually, you'd be less able to having consumed a certain amount of alcohol.

nicetoseetgesunsout · 06/05/2023 09:54

@SemperIdem not nice. Calling someone you don't know a horrible, actually disgusting, name is nasty. Do you teach your children to respond like that to comments they don't agree with? @AllOrNothingSituation is right. Do not tell us that we live in bubble, we don't - a lot of us are well travelled - I'm a Londoner, born and bred here and have been travelling since I was 18. Year in Australia when I was 18. Canada when I was 19. India 20-22. Also, Ibiza, Greece, Turkey, France, Spain, Morocco... and more.
My adult children are Londoners and one has just got back from 3 weeks in Thailand and will be spending NYE in New York, the other is doing his A levels and off to Greece for the summer.
Please explain the bubble that us Londoners live in?

liveforsummer · 06/05/2023 10:02

Outside of London, being able to drive is not only useful but vital in more rural areas, so no it isn’t a “MN thing” being surprised people can’t drive, it’s the reality outside of your central London bubble.

I live hundreds of miles from London and know countless people who don't drive. Even growing up in rural Scotland many households had and still have adults who didn't drive. It's no surprise to me

SummerHouse · 06/05/2023 10:02

Does his lordship ever have a drink with you in the evening? If so how is that any different? Is it ok for you both to have a couple of drinks together because he is there and he is superhuman?

Unless he consciously stays sober if you are drinking then he is a hypocrite.

liveforsummer · 06/05/2023 10:04

I'm a single parent. I absolutely have a drink when dc are in bed. I do drive but am on no different position in an emergency than the many who don't. Having put a healthy dc to bed though the chances of emergency are pretty tiny. I'd obviously abstain if they'd been running a temperature of 40

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