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Original poster

Drinking when 2 year old is in bed

109 replies

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 22:00

DP is on holiday with friends so it’s just me and DS. I have had 3 glasses of wine tonight and I feel “happy” but not drunk if you know what I mean. DH rang earlier and was shocked that I have drunk 3 glasses of wine. I would certainly be capable to react if anything were to go wrong, emergency etc. He’s made me feel like a really bad mum. Just thought I’d get some opinions. If I am in the wrong I won’t do it again.

OP posts:
PrtScn · 05/05/2023 22:48

Think it's fine. I regularly drink once mine is in bed. It's not as if you are paralytic, and you can't even drive anyway so whatevs. My DH doesn't drink though so that kinda excuses me bit I guess.

Original poster
IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 22:48

I feel totally fine. A bit more relaxed but certainly not drunk. It appears he is giving me the silent treatment now🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Hungryfrogs23 · 05/05/2023 22:53

For me personally, I think if you are solely in charge of a child, sleeping or not, then putting yourself knowingly in a position where your judgement is compromised and you aren't legal to drive is irresponsible. One glass is very different to 3.

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Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 05/05/2023 22:53

Is your partner normally so unreasonable Op? You’d think he would be enjoying himself not getting at you and giving you the silent treatment. You’ve done nothing wrong.

QueenoftheAngles · 05/05/2023 23:00

I think it’s fine OP, me and everyone I know would have had 3 glasses on a Friday night when their toddler was safely tucked up Trust your judgment.

Your DH really shouldn’t be policing you like that, not good, and the silent treatment is very childish and also a way of handily ignoring a confrontation where you might point out some things you find not ideal about his parenting

Original poster
IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:02

It’s ok for him to go out 3 times a week and all day Saturday playing football, go on this holiday and have a night out booked in 2 weeks but god forbid I have a few drinks. Fucking men

OP posts:
Original poster
IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:04

Sorry for the language. He’s just really annoying me right now

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 05/05/2023 23:04

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:02

It’s ok for him to go out 3 times a week and all day Saturday playing football, go on this holiday and have a night out booked in 2 weeks but god forbid I have a few drinks. Fucking men

This is a separate issue. He sounds like a massive idiot, as well as selfish.

3 glasses of wine when in sole care of a small child isn't ok, IMO. It's not just about being able to get a taxi, it's being able to sufficiently respond & hear your DC. You're not sober after 3 glasses.

However many many parents feel comfortable with this so I accept my view is not shared by everyone.

Mumsday · 05/05/2023 23:07

As an aside, it never ceases to amaze me how many grown adults don’t drive.

Or is it just on MN? 🤔

Original poster
IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:10

@Mumsday I can’t drive yet as I have epilepsy. Once I’m seizure free for 1 year, which is soon, I can start lessons. I have made sure with my neurologist it’s safe for me to have a drink

OP posts:
AllOrNothingSituation · 05/05/2023 23:10

Mumsday · 05/05/2023 23:07

As an aside, it never ceases to amaze me how many grown adults don’t drive.

Or is it just on MN? 🤔

I live in London I know loads of people that don't drive. The 'every adult must drive' is more a MN thing ime.

Redstopgreengo · 05/05/2023 23:18

I personally don't drink when in sole charge of the kids. Purely because one day 3 glasses of wine will be fine and the next time one glass will knock me on my arse and I won't wake up if they do. Can't tell which way it'll go until I've drank it though and then it's too late.

And for posters saying 3 glasses isn't much, in home measures it'll be close to a full bottle (or actually a full bottle). That's a lot when you're alone. I'm not one of the thimble of wine a Christmas only types either, I'll happily have a bottle in a night if there is someone sober in the house too.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/05/2023 23:23

So long as you know your limit I think it's fine, however 3 is where I would think most people should stop but preferably 2 drinks imo.

EllaPaella · 05/05/2023 23:29

Wrong place to ask OP.
You will get more realistic and honest answers if you ask your actual real life friends.
Your DH is being selfish and actually sounds quite controlling. Why does he get to go out several times a week and you aren't allowed to relax and unwind sometimes?

Cupoftea80 · 05/05/2023 23:32

Those of you saying it’s too much- do you never have a drink with your partner when the kids are in bed? Does one of you always stay sober?

I was a single parent for any years and often had a glass of wine or 3 at home on my own. Now I’m with DH we will usually share a bottle
of wine at the weekends.

I don’t think you can live your life thinking ‘what if” - obviously you shouldn’t be paralytic but after a couple of glasses of wine I am perfectly capable of calling a taxi, or 111 if a child was ill and I needed advice.

Giveuprobot · 05/05/2023 23:38

Single mum - I'm not living every night as if I might have to randomly drive to hospital. The risk of a child who went to bed perfectly healthy suddenly needing A&E is negligible.

Berlinlover · 05/05/2023 23:41

I think you’re very irresponsible tbh.

Wishitsnows · 05/05/2023 23:43

You have your parents 5 mins away, a hospital 5 mins away, the capability to call a taxi. What more do you need. Your DH sounds like a total arse though

SemperIdem · 05/05/2023 23:44

It’s fine, he’s being a bit of a dick. Ignore him.

SemperIdem · 05/05/2023 23:45

Berlinlover · 05/05/2023 23:41

I think you’re very irresponsible tbh.

Why? She’s had 3 glasses of wine, not 3 pint glasses of vodka.

Give it a rest.

MenoRageisReal · 05/05/2023 23:46

Your DH is a knob.

craftybeee · 05/05/2023 23:46

Every post I've read on here tonight are women asking for reassurance after their husbands have picked them apart or told them their doing something wrong.

There are parents out there that do drugs when their kids go to bed, don't sweat half a bottle of wine. The fact your evening taking the time to write this post shows your a responsible parent.

SemperIdem · 05/05/2023 23:47

AllOrNothingSituation · 05/05/2023 23:10

I live in London I know loads of people that don't drive. The 'every adult must drive' is more a MN thing ime.

Show quote history

No, it’s a “the rest of the UK isn’t London” thing 🙄

Pussycatbeen · 05/05/2023 23:53

Mumsday · 05/05/2023 23:07

As an aside, it never ceases to amaze me how many grown adults don’t drive.

Or is it just on MN? 🤔

It's very expensive to learn how to drive, so not everyone can afford it; cars are polluting and contribute to climate change, so people choose not to drive on ethical grounds; in cities, public transport tends to be easier, faster and cheaper than driving; some have health conditions or tiredness that make it even less safe to drive...there are plenty of reasons.

For me, it's all of the above, though I accept that with the dire public transport in much of the country it's a necessity for many.

As for the wine, I have two glasses, I would be too tipsy on three, but different people have different tolerance levels and the OP has neighbours and parents 5 mins away anyway.

NurseEssie · 05/05/2023 23:55

I would just struggle the next day dealing with a toddler and feeling dusty.
I have two glasses max when I look after my 10 months old by myself.
But people also have different tolerances.

Ffs if there's an emergency there's an ambulance or the neighbours.