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Original poster

Drinking when 2 year old is in bed

109 replies

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 22:00

DP is on holiday with friends so it’s just me and DS. I have had 3 glasses of wine tonight and I feel “happy” but not drunk if you know what I mean. DH rang earlier and was shocked that I have drunk 3 glasses of wine. I would certainly be capable to react if anything were to go wrong, emergency etc. He’s made me feel like a really bad mum. Just thought I’d get some opinions. If I am in the wrong I won’t do it again.

OP posts:
Isthisexpected · 06/05/2023 02:10

Jansetten · 06/05/2023 01:51

I mean we all go to sleep and are unconscious when our children are also asleep?? Is that not somewhat similar to having three glasses of wine, if an emergency were to happen and you’d be waken up you’d be drowsy and also somewhat impaired by sleep.

Hey?! You must know this is a much more temporary state than from the chemicals state having consumed alcohol?

Atovell · 06/05/2023 02:11

Oh OP why do you put up with this? The fact you’ve had to ask for someone else’s opinion on what you probably already know him being an unreasonable twat…..is he always that demanding to you? I would have told him where to go a million miles ago but I know we aren’t always the same. I hope he isn’t treating you bad OP!

Jansetten · 06/05/2023 02:12

@Isthisexpected I mean that is true but how often do terrible things happen when young children are already asleep?? If this were the case I think we’d all have terrible insomnia.

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MakesMeFeelSad · 06/05/2023 02:18

It's fine you aren't plastered and falling over. Dh sounds like a bit of a dick

I don't drive because I don't want to and its bloody expensive. I've been a parent 28 years, dc are 28, 20, 12 and 10 and in all that time I've only had to go to hospital once at night and that was around 9 o'clock.

Atovell · 06/05/2023 02:19

Honestly don’t listen to the rest of these jumped up MNs. If you are comfortable and happy with the amount you’ve had to drink and know you will both be safe, don’t feel bad. Your ex or whatever he is (I hope he is your ex soon) is trying to control what you do, as long as he can go out and have fun then that leaves you in control and that means he will try and put any sort of blame on you. FUCK HIM - I hope you find someone better soon. He’s probably stalking this post that’s how weird he is.

CoffeeYes · 06/05/2023 02:19

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:02

It’s ok for him to go out 3 times a week and all day Saturday playing football, go on this holiday and have a night out booked in 2 weeks but god forbid I have a few drinks. Fucking men

I’d be drunk after 3 glasses of wine. I think more than 1 glass is a bit much when you’re drinking alone (it’s different if you’ve gone out with friends). The fact your DH goes out so much is a separate issue and that needs to be resolved. He sounds like a 21 year old child free young man, not a father of a very young child.

Newjobformoremoney · 06/05/2023 02:34

@Hugasauras have you chatted to someone About you anxiety? Apologies I know that’s not what this thread is about but your post jumped out at me and it really struck.
It seems really extreme response.

NotMeSecretFormular · 06/05/2023 02:36

FFS, you have another parent available to step in in case of emergency. Do you think single parents never drink? Tell him he must immediately be on call as you're clearly so irresponsible that you can't be trusted Hmm

Newjobformoremoney · 06/05/2023 02:37

OP it’s fine to have 3 glasses of wine. I wouldn’t get worked up about it.

Riapia · 06/05/2023 03:09

Pour yourself another glass and FaceTime him while you drink it.
😉😁😁

ChristmasJumpers · 06/05/2023 03:16

I wouldn't but I'm not a big drinker in general and would feel paranoid that that would be the night something would happen needing me to drive! Driving is not an issue for you though and you know your limits, so your DH can get lost!!

WishingMyLifeAway · 06/05/2023 03:19

IcedCoffee1 · 06/05/2023 00:15

He finally text me back. He said I’m irresponsible because “what kind of mother gets drunk in front of their child” bearing in mind I didn’t have my first glass until he was asleep and I’m not drunk. He said I’m putting DS at risk🤷🏻‍♀️

  1. I'd tell him to fuck right off with his condescension and judgement.
  1. How has this never come up before?!? Have you never had a drink together with friends with the kids at home for example?
WishingMyLifeAway · 06/05/2023 03:21

CallieQ · 06/05/2023 01:07

Wow somehow exDH and I managed to raise three boys to adulthood with no major mishaps and most weekends we both drank around 3 glasses of wine (sometimes more) at the same time!! What is it with parents these days

YANBU

Ditto. Except just the one boy. And he's doing very well for himself so I think I did a pretty cracking job if I say so myself! 😀

WishingMyLifeAway · 06/05/2023 03:24

Riapia · 06/05/2023 03:09

Pour yourself another glass and FaceTime him while you drink it.
😉😁😁

This! 😂😂😂

In fact go one better and just record you slowly enjoying another glass and then send it to him. Then you don't have to listen to him at the other end! 😂😂😂

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 06/05/2023 03:30

He's being an arse.

When is your holiday and nights out?

OhamIreally · 06/05/2023 04:07

Riapia · 06/05/2023 03:09

Pour yourself another glass and FaceTime him while you drink it.
😉😁😁

😁😁😁

comfyshoes2022 · 06/05/2023 04:10

LividHouse · 05/05/2023 22:02

I wouldn’t be capable of much after three glasses.

Solo I never have more than one. I’d want to drive or be able to concentrate in an emergency.

Disclaimer: I know lots of people think that’s silly.

Agreed

newjobnewstartihope · 06/05/2023 04:19

Jansetten · 06/05/2023 01:51

I mean we all go to sleep and are unconscious when our children are also asleep?? Is that not somewhat similar to having three glasses of wine, if an emergency were to happen and you’d be waken up you’d be drowsy and also somewhat impaired by sleep.

Obviously not
I thought everyone knew your consciousness levels were effected by alcohol?

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 06/05/2023 04:23

I drink a bottle of wine every now and again when my kids are in bed so I obviously think that it’s fine. Wine doesn’t really get me drunk though. I’m more waved than anything

DeflatedAgain · 06/05/2023 04:27

YANBU

Enjoy yourself 😉

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 06/05/2023 04:30

Of course it's fine! I'm sorry he is being such an ass 🙈

bigmistakes · 06/05/2023 04:44

I personally don’t when I’m alone with DC. I just prefer to be clear headed and also alcohol really negatively affects my mood the day after. My DH wouldn’t pull me up on it though. Also DH and I do both drink when together so I’m not sure how that’s any better though?! Would your DH usually be at home sober if you fancied a drink? I think your DH is being a bit of an arse really. Does he generally think his life carries on as normal post DC whilst you make all the sacrifices? That would not be acceptable to me!!

SargentSagittarius · 06/05/2023 04:53

IcedCoffee1 · 06/05/2023 00:15

He finally text me back. He said I’m irresponsible because “what kind of mother gets drunk in front of their child” bearing in mind I didn’t have my first glass until he was asleep and I’m not drunk. He said I’m putting DS at risk🤷🏻‍♀️

FGS LTB ignore him. He sounds like an unmitigated arse.

You’re doing nothing wrong. You know yourself - and at the heart of it, you know you’re not in any way endangering your children.

Relax and enjoy.

Redstopgreengo · 06/05/2023 07:25

Cupoftea80 · 05/05/2023 23:32

Those of you saying it’s too much- do you never have a drink with your partner when the kids are in bed? Does one of you always stay sober?

I was a single parent for any years and often had a glass of wine or 3 at home on my own. Now I’m with DH we will usually share a bottle
of wine at the weekends.

I don’t think you can live your life thinking ‘what if” - obviously you shouldn’t be paralytic but after a couple of glasses of wine I am perfectly capable of calling a taxi, or 111 if a child was ill and I needed advice.

Nope, my partner doesn't drink at home. One of us is always sober. If he's having a night out or away with work then I don't drink. It's not living life by what ifs it's just being sensible and knowing what you're comfortable with. If my child needed me and I didn't wake up for them because I'd had a drink then I'd feel awful so I don't risk it.

Flittingaboutagain · 06/05/2023 08:35

IcedCoffee1 · 05/05/2023 23:02

It’s ok for him to go out 3 times a week and all day Saturday playing football, go on this holiday and have a night out booked in 2 weeks but god forbid I have a few drinks. Fucking men

I'm sorry he's a selfish partner. His lack of support and parenting reluctance doesn't have anything to do with your OP. It's like saying well my husband hits the dog so it's OK if I only walk the dog once a week. I really think two is the max if you're alone with kids. You want to be able to think straight as if you haven't had alcohol.

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