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Original poster

Is 50 the worst birthday of all?

97 replies

MerryMarigold · 03/05/2023 18:33

Mine is in 4 weeks and...I just can't be bothered. I'm not upset about ageing. I don't think I'd be bothered if it was 49 or 48 either but it feels like I'm supposed to do 'something'. People have asked and I just want to say "I can't be arsed."

I threw a big party for my 40th and it was great. Lots of friends from different parts of my life got to meet each other. They, and I, had a great time. But this time round I'm not bothered. Is it peri-menopause combined with 3 teenagers? Does the 'can't be arsed' get better? I just hope by the time I'm 60 I'll feel more motivated to celebrate. Is that unlikely?

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 03/05/2023 18:35

I still felt young at 40 and made more of a deal of it.
my 50th was during some of the pandemic restrictions so I didn’t do much although still celebrated a little.

Panicmode1 · 03/05/2023 18:38

Are you me? I had a big party for my 40th too. My 50th is later this year and I just don't really care about it at all...!

cockeyedoptimist · 03/05/2023 18:40

Omg I could have written your post word for word .
Exactly the same , a big party 10 years ago , now at 50 I'm just planning to have a pub meal with my parents and teenage son.
I'd love to know when I'll get my mojo back .I think my get up and go , got up and went 😔
Sorry , no advice but I'll be following this thread

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KingSpaniel · 03/05/2023 18:42

I had a bigger party for my 50th than my 40th! I had two babies just before my 40th and was knackered!

50 is fab! But if you don’t think it is then don’t do anything 🤷‍♀️. There’s no law against not giving a shit 😄.

Flavabobble · 03/05/2023 18:42

I loved turning 50. I think I'll enjoy turning 60 too in a few years, but the idea of throwing a party for it fills me with horror.

Purpledressredhat · 03/05/2023 18:43

I think meno kicks in and you stop giving a shit about a lot of things!

Namechange98765432 · 03/05/2023 18:49

I'm kind of looking forward to mine. I have found my 40s a bit of an awkward age - not really sure which stage I'm in. Now 50 - I am definitely not young, but definitely not old.
I am still beautiful, but not in that flawless way - there is definite character! Menopause seems to have mostly happened, so I am regaining energy, starting to lose that stubborn tummy and finally able to work with the face/hair/figure I have (rather than the constant alarming changes!). Pressure is off to regain my youthful looks - that ship has sailed, but I am happy with the current look and am wayyyyy off 'old lady'. I like to schmooze with the more sophisticated set 😉
I am also aware that life is moving on - I am hoping for another 50 years (my aunt was travelling to the ends of the globe in her 80s and romancing young men- well 65 plus, but young to her). So I'm taking my new attitude and making the most of every day I have.
So yes, 50 - bring it on.

reluctantbrit · 03/05/2023 18:56

While I liked the party I did for my 40th, I just didn't fancy one when I turned 50 last year.

So I took three friends and paid for us to go on a night away to Bath and we did the Christmas Market, shopped, went for really nice lunch and dinner, did some sightseeing and had a great time.

I found it's a really large spectrum, some do parties, some do trips, some do days out. People just ignore pressure what to do.

izzy2076 · 03/05/2023 18:56

I'm 50 at the end of the month too and my peri-menopausal self shudders at the thought of celebrating it! Not because of the number, I just cannot be arsed at all.

Marchintospring · 03/05/2023 18:58

Much prefer 50. Definitely middle aged so any remaining youthful qualities are a plus not a requirement. I have aged horribly. No one says I look good for my age anymore like they did in my 40’s but that’s drinking smoking and sun for you. But I don’t care which is massively freeing,

Ragwort · 03/05/2023 18:58

It's only a number ! I'm looking forward to celebrating my 65th next week ... not with a big party but I will still enjoy the day Smile.

otherwayup · 03/05/2023 19:00

I bloody loved mine! Basically had months of different celebrations, huge party, afternoon tea with family, spa weekend with my best pals and so on 😂
I looked way more knackered at my 40th as I still had demanding younger dc!!

InaMuddle2 · 03/05/2023 19:00

I am so bored of people wittering on about "peri" and "meno"

otherwayup · 03/05/2023 19:01

My oldest friend nearly died when we were in our late 40s, I think that definitely impacted on how lucky I felt to be 50.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 03/05/2023 19:02

Same, mine is at the end of this month and I am kind of jealous of people who had theirs in lockdown so could ignore it. It just sounds so old and I can’t be bothered

Hbh17 · 03/05/2023 19:03

You don't need to do anything, especially as parties for adult birthdays are a bit naff and smug. I pretty much ignored my 50th birthday, but I was happy to reach that age because then I knew that I no longer needed to give a flying wotsit about what other people think 😂

AwfulTed · 03/05/2023 19:05

I’m a party avoider too! The very idea of it makes my stomach flip and 50 is fast approaching… one of my friends had several huge dos and trips away but honestly the thought of even standing receiving flowers and a whip-around-collection-gift card at work fills me with more dread than the actual number

My anti social nature aside, I have no headspace or energy for planning due to 2 teens (one about to go spectacularly off the rails ) and a 22yr old kidult never mind a tricky patch in my marriage and a demanding work role

following this conversation closely

Hbh17 · 03/05/2023 19:05

InaMuddle2 · 03/05/2023 19:00

I am so bored of people wittering on about "peri" and "meno"

I wish there was a button that allowed me to like this post!

Tiredandknackered · 03/05/2023 19:06

I ignored my 50th but be warned that the next decade gallops by …cannot believe I am 60 next month!! Am doing lots of fun stuff with my friends individually!

frozendaisy · 03/05/2023 19:08

Everyone we know is going the other way!

When we turned 40 most we knew had small kids, but skint starting true home ownership, paying some childcare.

Now we have more money, kids will remember any big blow out holidays, they are fine in hotels to go to bed. So for us the tides have flipped.

Perhaps you do either/or?

Mossandlichen678 · 03/05/2023 19:08

Hbh17 · 03/05/2023 19:03

You don't need to do anything, especially as parties for adult birthdays are a bit naff and smug. I pretty much ignored my 50th birthday, but I was happy to reach that age because then I knew that I no longer needed to give a flying wotsit about what other people think 😂

especially as parties for adult birthdays are a bit naff and smug

All of them without exception? That’s a bit joyless isn’t it?

Original poster
MerryMarigold · 03/05/2023 19:08

TooOldForThisNonsense · 03/05/2023 19:02

Same, mine is at the end of this month and I am kind of jealous of people who had theirs in lockdown so could ignore it. It just sounds so old and I can’t be bothered

Hah. Yes, I too was dreaming of a lockdown birthday. 4 of my friends had theirs in different lockdowns and it was great - we were forced to be creative whilst they had to do nothing in the way of party. I'd love someone to do something really creative for me...that I didn't need to organise.

OP posts:
Original poster
MerryMarigold · 03/05/2023 19:09

InaMuddle2 · 03/05/2023 19:00

I am so bored of people wittering on about "peri" and "meno"

How was it for you?

OP posts:
Doyouthinktheyknow · 03/05/2023 19:09

I hope not, my 50th is next year!

I would always hate a party so that’s not on the cards, we are planning a good holiday for my 50th.

I’m not generally a fan of my own birthdays anyway so a decent holiday is as good as it gets.

I do think it’s a bit of a cliff edge birthday as I do feel things are going downhill physically and health wise but I’m definitely stronger mentally and give less fucks.

Inkpotlover · 03/05/2023 19:10

InaMuddle2 · 03/05/2023 19:00

I am so bored of people wittering on about "peri" and "meno"

Only a man who would write shit like that.