Is 50 the worst birthday of all?

[MerryMarigold]

Mine is in 4 weeks and...I just can't be bothered. I'm not upset about ageing. I don't think I'd be bothered if it was 49 or 48 either but it feels like I'm supposed to do 'something'. People have asked and I just want to say "I can't be arsed."

I threw a big party for my 40th and it was great. Lots of friends from different parts of my life got to meet each other. They, and I, had a great time. But this time round I'm not bothered. Is it peri-menopause combined with 3 teenagers? Does the 'can't be arsed' get better? I just hope by the time I'm 60 I'll feel more motivated to celebrate. Is that unlikely?

@Hbh17
Naff and smug?
Its literally how you sound, how ironic!
How many adult parties have you been to exactly?

I really pushed the boat out for mine. Took friends away for weekend, had a BBQ, did stuff with family. It was marvellous though slightly disconcerting. I'm 55 this year though and the thought of being 60 is terrifying!

Glad it's not just me. I was feeling like I'm weird.

Yes it's the people constantly expecting you to have a party - fancy dress and 100 other things. I just want to go for a long walk, have a meal and a couple of glasses of wine. The last thing I want to do is make arrangements etc.

my 50th was the first time i had a party...(50 is the new 40 and all that!) I had a great time with my close friends and family at a private area in the local pub. It really depends on what you feel like - i found turning 40 difficult)

I am celebrating. My birthday is a Friday so I'll be working and I'll be exhausted after (Friday night is my "I'm grumpy, I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed early night")! But my mum is paying for dh and I to go to a concert on the Saturday night. If I do anything on Sunday I'll be tired for work on Monday.

Are you me?! I had a huge party for my 40th but don't want to celebrate my 50th in September. I didn't think I would ever feel so weird

I'm 50 this year and good riddance to my 40s, so fucking stressful! Having a summer party (as actual birthday in winter) then a smaller gathering on the actual day. Feel like I've done nothing but hard graft and slog for a decade so bring on the party!

@ccockeyedoptimist

"I'd love to know when I'll get my mojo back .I think my get up and go , got up and went 😔"

YES! I couldn't be arsed with Christmas either.

For those 53+, does this feeling wear off?

I didn't do anything for my 40th, except deal with a non-sleeping 6yr old. And I'm not doing anything for my 50th. Just the day off work and go to the gym.

Maybe it's linked to age of kids. 10 years ago mine were 4 yo twins and 7. Pretty delightful ages (to me). Teens, moods, dramas, exams etc are much more draining than toddlers.

That's not true. I'm getting increasingly fed up being told that because I'm a middle age woman I'm clearly forgetful, moody, emotional, sweaty etc etc. The reality is that we don't all have difficult menopauses, in fact many women have no or mild symptoms. It's partly cultural; there's massive differences between the rates of hrt usage in different western countries with, surprise surprise, the US having far greater prescribing of HRT than European countries.

It's great to reach the age of fifty, but I didn't want to do anything, so I didn't.

I have to agree - I've got a Mirena so I have no idea if my periods have stopped, and I don't have any other symptoms I could put down to "peri" or "meno". So tired of hearing how AWFUL it is for women.

I'm 56. Really should get that Mirena taken out 😆

Oh, and to get back on topic I had a pandemic birthday so couldn't celebrate. We had a zoom call, woo hoo. If anything I was more in the mood for a 50th than a 40th when I had a 6 month old baby. I'm feeling better now than I did in my late 30s and early 40s and I was deep in the baby years (had mine at 37, 39 and 41). Now have teenagers and am back working FT and loving life.

Hopefully for you, your 50s will mean you will stop giving a fuck about being beautiful, flawless and attractive to younger men. Sod that!

Oh no he wouldn’t.

I much preferred my 50th. I never had a party for my 30th or 40th as I was always too anxious - would people come, would they all get on, enjoy it, approve of what I'd chosen etc etc. By the time I was 50 I'd stopped caring what other people thought and just planned what I wanted. It was a fab day and I think everyone enjoyed it (and if they didn't that's fine!)

9th Birthday was my worst, accidentally sat in dog poo wearing my kagoul, which gives you an idea of the weather conditions on the picnic !

Honestly though, how about looking at events or things you have fancied doing for ages and do that instead of organising a party ?

Got my 60th in 2 months. At 50 I'd been widowed for 18 months so not a good time. Now remarried for a year so 2nd half of 50s was amazing!

I think your happiness is directly related to where you are in your life circumstance-wise, NOT age. I know quite a few ppl who are much much happier in the 50’s than in their 40’s, and similarly some are happier in their 40’s than in their 30’s (I’m one of them.) Age has very very little to do with your state of happiness actually. I was bloody miserable in my 20’s and stressed out of my tree in my 30’s, giving fucking birth all the time & living on the breadline. As you mature things get easier in big ways so you can breathe a bit

OMG I loved my 50th, I had such fun planning my party a couple of days before the actual day and then I went on a fabulous holiday and literally had one of my best days ever.
I had my hair and makeup done for my party and treated myself to botox for the first time. I loved planning it, especially ordering my cake. I had my party at home and had the food catered and ordered so much food and drink. All my guests really enjoyed, it was a real laugh.
On my actual birthday I had a two hour spa treatment, went to a concert in a place, had the most amazing dinner, went sightseeing and the hotel kept sending various treats to our room.
I had an amazing 40th too but there was something so special about being half a century, I’m not going to make it to 100 so half a hundred needs to be celebrated.

Think yourself bloody lucky that you get to 60.

I think this is true actually. In many ways life is easier now, kids bigger, more dosh etc so hopefully I’ll enjoy the actual 50s, just the thought of a 50th birthday is a bit daunting!

I was 50 last year. It kinda went past me. I dont feel that old and nobody believes me when I say im that old. Although I only have sporadic memories from childhood onwards, so who the fuck knows.