Is 50 the worst birthday of all?

[MerryMarigold]

Mine is in 4 weeks and...I just can't be bothered. I'm not upset about ageing. I don't think I'd be bothered if it was 49 or 48 either but it feels like I'm supposed to do 'something'. People have asked and I just want to say "I can't be arsed."

I threw a big party for my 40th and it was great. Lots of friends from different parts of my life got to meet each other. They, and I, had a great time. But this time round I'm not bothered. Is it peri-menopause combined with 3 teenagers? Does the 'can't be arsed' get better? I just hope by the time I'm 60 I'll feel more motivated to celebrate. Is that unlikely?

I was looking forward to mine but sadly the evening part got completely ruined by DH & that absolutely took the gloss off the celebrations I’d already had. Plus my friends didn’t organise anything for me whereas with other members of our group they had always gone to a lot of trouble. One friend bought me some body lotion & it wasn’t expensive either! Felt completely shit to be honest.

My 50th is next year, I'm planning to organise a big party! My DH is more like you about his OP.

Yeah, even a few months ago I was thinking about what to do and how to celebrate, looking forward to it. But the closer the reality of organizing it got, the less arsed I became. It's lovely in theory!

My thinking is there’s absolutely nothing you can do about turning 50 or indeed getting older so why not plan something fabulous whatever it may be?
Not having a good birthday won’t make you stay 49.

Op Happy Birthday. I had afternoon tea with friends so nice. My mother gave me nothing but thats how she is! Friends were lovely felt big effort made. But my other friend 50 in summer wants no fuss she says

I enjoyed mine, I was doing a language course and did not mention it to anyone.

So called 'big birthdays' are a marketing idea to get you to spend money.

In the past, I've only realised my birthday's happened because someone has wished me a belated happy day.

There's nothing good about turning 50. All you have to look forward to is getting dementia or Parkinsons or some other crazy incurable disease. You're just watching your parents die, and you're stuck in limbo suffering with joint issues, incontinence and tiredness. All while awaiting your own demise. It's all downhill from now. We've got around 20 years (if lucky!). As I said...there's nothing good.

Only a man who would write shit like that.
Yup!

Dh has just turned 50 and had a big party - it was great! Most of us have teenage kids now and can live a little again after the child rearing years. I didn't enjoy 40 much and didn't have a party...I have a couple of years left before turning 50 but feel pretty good about it. I'm not a party kind of person though, so probably won't do that.

Be careful with all the generalisations about having teenage kids. Not everyone turning 50 has their kids so young. Mine is only 6 and I’m 50 at the end of August. Unfortunately that means he is too young to understand that getting a huge card with 50! on it might not be what Mummy wants, because in his book the bigger the number the better the birthday!

That said, turning 50 with a 6 year old is a helluva better than turning 40 and worrying I would never have a child.

no trouble hitting 40 , but hated being 50 did not want a party, went away for the whole week of it. turning 60 no problem at all.

Ok, so I’m now 60 but I think 50 was more irritating. I was mum a 7 yr old at 50 which seemed “OLD” but mum to a 17 yr old at 60 seems ‘ok’. Basic policy/approach must be “celebrate, then start going back down in age. Basically chill and chill some fizz.

Hopefully this is satire, no one can be this pessimistic re turning 50!

Hopefully! In my head (I'm 35) I think 50s could be great if youve got your health...DC off at uni/getting first jobs but not needing you for childcare yet. I'm planning on dragging DH on some Viking River cruises to Norway and going on weekends away with my girlfriends (whose kids will also be grown ups by then).

OP if you don't fancy a party, how about a weekend away? How old is oldest teenager...could they be trusted to hold the Fort for 2 days?

I dreaded turning 60 but the decade has been great. Today I'm looking at 60 and I'm finding the feeling unsettling for multiple reasons. As I say to myself in cheerier moments though 'it's better than the alternative'. Happy birthday to me.

Hopefully! In my head (I'm 35) I think 50s could be great if youve got your health...DC off at uni/getting first jobs but not needing you for childcare yet.

At 35 I had no children, by my 50th I had two at secondary and one at primary. At 60 my youngest will have just started Uni. Roll on 60!

It's my next big birthday and I already know there's no way I'm having a big party for it. Don't really like loud parties, don't want to deal with all the attention, fuss, photos, run up, pressure to look good etc.

I get that some people love it but it's not me at all and at 50 I'm not going to pretend it is.

My dream 50th would be hiking through a forest in Japan - now the thought of that makes me feel excited. I would think of something you know you would enjoy, not what we are expected to want.

I didn't have a 40th. Fir my 50th I had a great night dancing wuth friends. I felt good even though I had recently been replaced by a wealthier model by my ex. If u CBA then do what you want to do. Happy Birthday.

I found 70 the worst, the whole biblical "3 score years and ten" and a feeling of I'm on borrowed time. Not very cheerful.

I think I'll enjoy my 50th more than my 40th. Dd turns 21 the same year so we're planning a once in a lifetime trip to somewhere like Hawaii. I hate (my own) parties so wouldn't have one.