Your worst faux pas

[AtChoService]

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬

I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line.

The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things.

I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴

I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

Myrtle Smurf has me wheeze laughing 😂

Not me but a recent one I was involved in.

A family member of mine died young. A friend of mines parent decided to attend the funeral (had met the deceased a few times but know a lot about my family through me and has known about other family funerals too).

It was a small funeral as it was kept to family only (except this 1 guest who showed up) and there is virtually non of us left in the family.

The friends mam then held court and went on and on and on about how she is about to turn 70 and how hard being old is, her terrible arthritis and kept saying 'wait until yous lot get to my age'.

After an awkward 30 minutes or so of no one responding I had to comment to 'remind her' that like the person whose funeral we where at that due to genetic health issue we all die young and actually no one in the family has lived to 70 and non of the rest of us are actually likely to buck that trend and magically live to 70 either.

Even without the fact of our medical & family bereavement history (which they knew) even if this death had been a one of tragedy I do wonder why they would choose that topic of 'old age' as conversation at a wake for someone who died young anyway.

I cringe for them though.

Started a new job and was being taken round meeting people. A senior manager said "Oh, you'll know my wife, she worked at XX with you".

I reply " oh gosh yes, I remember all your wedding planning, it was epic, went on for ages, she kept asking us our opinions on everything etc ", and on and on I went. (It really was a massive white wedding, took well over a year to organise, wife was a bit Home Counties private schooled posh type).
He didn't comment, changed the subject.

Found out weeks later that was her FIRST wedding to her first husband; the one she left after less than a year married. Had an affair with senior manager and then they both left their spouses, and his case 3 young kids too.

Learnt to keep trap shut about anything to do with personal lives after that.

Was with MIL and SIL phoned her to tell her her hair appointment had gone horribly and she hated the colour of her hair. We got back to MIL's house and SIL was stood there with her friend.

Me: "Your hair doesn't look that bad!"

SIL's friend was the one who did her hair, she was a hairdresser who did mobile hair cutting at people's houses. I died. I put SIL in the most awkward position with her friend!!

I've made so many. On training secondment in another office, innocently asked new male work colleague Leo who I vaguely knew, how his presumed girlfriend Bronwyn was ?(I worked with Bronwyn & she was always with him in a kind of touchy feely way or gassing about him). The other female with us Jane, went puce red, burst into tears and stormed off with Leo hotly in pursuit. I realized something was wrong. When they returned Jane refused to speak to me but Leo brazened it out & I stfu. Later transpired Jane and Leo were living together and engaged. Bronwyn was Leo's side action & he'd been rumbled some months back by Jane but she'd forgiven him. Names have been changed just in case.

Another one...years ago a colleague had a photo of his two children on his work desk. I commented on how one in particular looked like him. Had the same eyes as him. He turned to me and blankly said his son was adopted.

I tried to style it out. I couldn't.

😂 😂 😂 my thoughts exactly

And one more...

Was at Mcdonalds and there was only a couple of us in there waiting for our food to be served. The staff put a tray down in front of me on the counter and were just getting some boxes of chips. So I tucked into a chicken nugget whilst I waited for the rest of my food.

They then called out the order number. Wasn't mine. Person came and collected the tray I had eaten from and left.

Thankfully nobody had seen me help myself to what I thought was my food. Apart from my husband obviously who looked at me with his eyes wide open whilst muttering "wtf were you doing?!"

It had completely slipped my mind that the food might not have been mine!

My friend has adopted children, one in particular over the years has really started to look like her. I mentioned it and she didn’t get offended, how odd of him, he must be very touchy on the subject

As a district nurse we visited a paraplegic man regularly who was known to be a bit of a drinker and we would openly joke about it.
One day I couldn't gain entry to his house, when he finally let me in I said of the delay "At last. I thought you were drunk again and paralytic in the chair".

I'm not sure why this situation should be embarrassing to either you or your colleague . I think your colleague responding 'blankly' is odd actually .

@LeefPeeper Tbf he said it quite blankly initially as he probably felt awkward, but wasn't rude about it. Probably just quite bemused.

I was once making brews for the senior management team at a building firm I was temping at. I made myself one too, and shouted across the office to ask the MD, Peter, if I could pinch a sweetener.

The words that actually came out of my mouth were ‘can I pinch a penis, sweetness?’

I don’t know who was more mortified, but all the tradies had a right old laugh.

My dps sister died from a condition called battens disease

Part of this illness is you go blind-its one of the first things to go-then the sufferer starts to show signs of dementia before death

Anyway,my inlaws live in the country-with some amazing views

Because of her condition,an extention was built on the back of the house to use as her downstairs bedroom

Now it's the dining room

We where sat having dinner one night,when the subject of the French doors they had put in when they turned it from her bedroom into the current dining room

My fil was a builder and had fitted them-he passed away in there himself

Me-do you think Derek (fil) put them in so Emily (dps sister) could enjoy the beautiful view?

Silence from both dp and mil

It had to be pointed out to me that the poor lass couldn't enjoy the bloody view,since she'd gone blind at the age of 7 and her bedroom was put in aged 14/15

I still burn with shame at the thought

This really made me laugh!! 😂

Years ago a colleague at work had just returned after having M-f gender reassignment surgery.
I wandered into the communal kitchen at the same time as her to get a drink and her coffee mug still had the coaster attached. This was an unfortunate time for me to forget the word for coaster, so like an idiot… I kept pointing to her mug which she was holding by her hip/ general crotch area repeating “your wotsit is still there… your thingy… it’s still there” the entire office went silent and stared at me like I’d gone mad. Luckily after a few painful seconds she realised what I was on about and saw the funny side. It was truly mortifying though

I love this. 😁

Mine is terrible. I met an artist at a Christmas fair and really loved her work. While trying to work out if there was any way I could justify spending close to two grand on a painting, we got chatting.

It turns out she grew up in the next town to the one I did. Her town had a bad reputation, but tbf, mine wasn't much better.
Then she told me that she was originally Chilean, but that her parents had fled from Pinochet when she was a baby and were given asylum in next town.
"Ho, ho, ho, out of the frying pan into the fire, eh?", I quipped jocularly, like a total fucking arsehole.
To her utmost credit, she totally glossed over the fact that I had just compared a slightly dodgy town to the regime of a genocidal dictator, but I've been appalled at myself since.
I didn't buy the painting either. 🥵

I made a joke about a one-eyed goldfish in front of someone who was blind in one eye. I still cringe

😂😂😂

When I was in my early 20s I went on a first date to a nice Indian restaurant. The food was lovely and the dessert was unusual (for me), a pudding made with vermicelli. Then the waiter brought us one more course, a long, warm, white thing in a plastic wrapper. I just thought it was another unusual pudding and tried to take a bite out of it. It was only a hot fucking towel for freshening up purposes wasn't it!!!!! Mortifying 😳😅

This was my brothers; we were heading downstairs on our way out...(town house) He goes to me " have you farted" I say no I haven't....he goes "fucking hell you must've that's fucking rotten" and he went on and on about the terrible smell. When we realised my daughters new boyfriend was using the downstairs loo and must've been stuck in there listening to every word 😅😅...we'll I couldn't get out of the house quick enough and could barely breathe for laughing!

Dh and i were in a newsagents. I bought a card and turned round to see which I thought was dh looking at a book of yoga poses, all scantily clad women.
I crept up behind him and said sternly 'what are you looking at.'
A complete stranger dropped the book and ran out of the shop!

First job. Asked to go and take the note of a meeting with very senior men. I was the only woman there, the most junior, and younger by about 30 years. They were discussing Israel and one of the men commented that there weren’t many Jewish people in our office. Another commented, oh but what about Saul Friedman (not his real name). I helpfully piped up that he wasn’t Jewish, he was Catholic. One of the men asked how I knew. I could have said that he grew up near me and I knew the family. But I didn’t. I said “Because he’s not circumcised.” There was a very long pause, and one of the men eventually said, shall we discuss trade with Egypt now?

Omg I'm crying!

I’m crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣