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Original poster

Would you have access to 2-night term time midweek childcare to attend a wedding?

123 replies

meaniemaybe · 01/05/2023 16:58

My friends are acting like I’m in the minority for not being able to arrange childcare for two nights midweek in term time to attend a wedding abroad with DH. I’m fine with going to the wedding alone but they all have ready/willing/able grandparents to call on or a FT nanny who will also do overnights but we have neither. So, just wanting to see if they are unusual or I am.

OP posts:
spiderplantparty · 01/05/2023 18:46

No chance when the DC were younger.

MummyJ36 · 01/05/2023 18:48

When it was just DC1 then yes we could probably kindly ask one set of grandparents. However since DC2 came along I’d say the answer would be no!

Lamelie · 01/05/2023 18:48

I’m amazed at these responses.
From about year 3 mine would have stayed with friends. It was 20 years ago but I’m sure they did. I definitely remember having other dc to stay when their parents had family emergencies overseas etc.
Maybe it’s peer group dependent. Central London/ lots of expats first generation immigrants so few of us had grand parents to hand.

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MummyJ36 · 01/05/2023 18:48

Also that’s no shade to DC2, it’s just a lot more full on looking after two kids under the age of 6!

JessicaBrassica · 01/05/2023 18:50

Nope. Could possibly arrange sleepover for 13yo. Not for 11yo so no. Mil has refused to have our kids overnight ( but has the other grand kids).

literalviolence · 01/05/2023 18:55

No. We've never had family support.

thaegumathteth · 01/05/2023 18:56

No, don't have any childcare.

Qilin · 01/05/2023 18:58

Lamelie · 01/05/2023 18:48

I’m amazed at these responses.
From about year 3 mine would have stayed with friends. It was 20 years ago but I’m sure they did. I definitely remember having other dc to stay when their parents had family emergencies overseas etc.
Maybe it’s peer group dependent. Central London/ lots of expats first generation immigrants so few of us had grand parents to hand.

Whilst dd had sleepovers fairly often I would never has asked friends to have her overnight, let alone for two nights, on school days unless it was for an emergency type event.

BendingSpoons · 01/05/2023 18:59

My parents would do it if I asked. I would be reluctant to ask. We have only ever asked for 1 night at a time and at weekends so they can be at grandparents house. (Would need to stay at our house mid week to get to school).

minipie · 01/05/2023 19:02

Possibly - we are lucky enough to have all 4 GPs around and willing to help - but would still depend on MIL work commitments, my mum’s health, both sets’ holiday commitments, etc.

When DC were younger they slept really terribly so couldn’t expect 3 days/2 nights in a row from anyone.

RedTulipsSpring · 01/05/2023 19:03

I wouldn’t at any time.

Goshdarnitgoofy · 01/05/2023 19:04

Yeah - GP would be happy to do it.

SparkyBlue · 01/05/2023 19:06

No we absolutely wouldn't have childcare in that situation

Puppyseahorse · 01/05/2023 19:06

We could, but probably wouldn’t. It’s a lot to ask and a lot of annual leave.

midweek weddings are unreasonable.

BeerBot · 01/05/2023 19:10

The wedding isn’t in term time where the couple live. Just strangely thoughtless not to research for the U.K. where the majority of guests are coming from!

Also strangely thoughtless to have it midweek when do many have to travel, so people will have to take several days off work. Not everyone will have the annual leave left to do this or be granted the days off.

Zola1 · 01/05/2023 19:12

I think it'd be a stretch but yes we could do it. I wouldn't want to though seems too much messing to ship everyone out

thecatsthecats · 01/05/2023 19:19

Yes, I'd have both sets of grandparents available and willing (MIL would frankly take the baby directly from the womb).

But I wouldn't be saying that to CF doing such a wanky wedding timing. "We don't have childcare" is the polite response to such a demanding invite.

MeinKraft · 01/05/2023 19:21

I'd be lucky to have two hours! I also wouldn't want both parents out of the country at the same time in case of emergency of something (no judgement on those who go abroad and leave kids at home but I am over anxious about stuff)

SheilaFentiman · 01/05/2023 20:21

Lamelie · 01/05/2023 18:48

I’m amazed at these responses.
From about year 3 mine would have stayed with friends. It was 20 years ago but I’m sure they did. I definitely remember having other dc to stay when their parents had family emergencies overseas etc.
Maybe it’s peer group dependent. Central London/ lots of expats first generation immigrants so few of us had grand parents to hand.

I absolutely could sort this in an emergency, they would go to stay with friends at the same school. But a midweek wedding is not an emergency.

SheilaFentiman · 01/05/2023 20:23

And there’s not many emergencies that would take us both away (if funerals are far, only one of us goes, for example)

Blort · 01/05/2023 20:24

A no here too

Lovelynames123 · 01/05/2023 20:31

Yes, excellent family support, my dps will have the dc anytime for any reason, but I think I'm in a minority

Beezknees · 01/05/2023 20:36

Well my mum was willing to do childcare when she could, but she works full time so she wouldn't have been able to do it if school runs were involved. She definitely wouldn't take annual leave to do it.

CatOnTheChair · 01/05/2023 20:39

I might bee able to get Mum to come up for one night. Unlikely to get 2 nights unles i could leave them there - so weekends or holidays.But I wouldn't be able to get the time off work in term time, so it's only been tested when DS1 got taken to hospital with blue lights going on the ambulance.

CottonSock · 01/05/2023 20:40

No, wouldn't be able to go.