Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you have access to 2-night term time midweek childcare to attend a wedding?

123 replies

meaniemaybe · 01/05/2023 16:58

My friends are acting like I’m in the minority for not being able to arrange childcare for two nights midweek in term time to attend a wedding abroad with DH. I’m fine with going to the wedding alone but they all have ready/willing/able grandparents to call on or a FT nanny who will also do overnights but we have neither. So, just wanting to see if they are unusual or I am.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 01/05/2023 17:15

PILs are retired and happily stay for a couple of nights.... as long as they aren't on holiday! So with a few months notice yes. They do it when i need to work late.

Time off work is another matter

UsingChangeofName · 01/05/2023 17:15

No, was never an option for us, but then I couldn't get time off in term time either Grin
In truth, I wouldn't fly abroad for 2 nights either (I know plenty of people do like short city breaks and do this).

Cakeorchocolate · 01/05/2023 17:17

No. Grandparents all work full time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Weddings
Doggymummar · 01/05/2023 17:17

When I got married overseas we did it in May half term even though it was more expensive for us and we have no kids. We wanted to be thoughtful to brothers and sisters that did.

Bemyclementine · 01/05/2023 17:19

Yes, my parents would have them. I actually think they'd prefer term time midweek as the dc are at school to break it up.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/05/2023 17:22

DD is 18 now but yes, she would have stayed with her Granny. We did actually have one of her wee pals stay 2 nights with us once (year 5) when her parents went to a wedding.

Questionquestionqu · 01/05/2023 17:25

I've been invited to a wedding that's overnight and there's definitely an expectation that we can find overnight childcare and attend. I don't know what you're meant to do if you don't have any.

MissBPotter · 01/05/2023 17:29

No we wouldn’t, especially not for our youngest who is only 1. I doubt they’d agree for the oldest two either. Plus I couldn’t go myself as I’m a teacher. I’ve never heard of someone arranging a wedding abroad midweek.

Favouritefruits · 01/05/2023 17:33

I don’t know many people that would have that luxury, I wouldn’t even have people to look after my kids at the weekend never mind midweek.

FlounderingFruitcake · 01/05/2023 17:37

If my mum could look after my youngest then yes. Other relatives won’t do nappies/potty so are quite willing to have the eldest but not the little one. School friends could be an option for the eldest too but again not the youngest.

DanceMonster · 01/05/2023 17:39

No, my in laws live abroad, my mum still works full time in the NHS and my dad is an alcoholic so I wouldn’t leave my children with him overnight. A friend would have my older girls (9 and 7) but wouldn’t be able to handle my disabled 4 year old.

TicTac80 · 01/05/2023 17:41

No. My DP are both dead. My exDFIL is dead. My exDMIL too infirm to give any childcare. My DB and DSIL live locally but I wouldn't want to ask them unless there was an emergency (they have DC and both work FT, so have quite enough on their hands!). I do have plenty of lovely friends, but again, I wouldn't want to ask them unless it was an emergency.

Pahpahpotato · 01/05/2023 17:41

in the winter, my mil and fil would do it. Any other time of year they wouldn’t as fil works long hours and mil couldn’t bring herself to cope on her own.
I wouldn’t attend a wedding where I needed two nights away from home, the annual leave and cost associated, mind you 🤣

Mummyme87 · 01/05/2023 17:41

Absolutely not. I have two kids 8 and 5, we dont have childcare on tap at all

Shergill15 · 01/05/2023 17:41

No chance here. One night at a weekend I might be able to beg a sleepover from a friend - but not 2 nights midweek (single parent, father abroad and no other family support)

Holly60 · 01/05/2023 17:43

Regardless of whether you are in the minority or not, if you don't have childcare, you don't have it.

Totally unfair of them to make you feel bad about it. If they are being funny about it, ask if they are able to find someone to do it for you!

Notonthestairs · 01/05/2023 17:44

We didn't have any childcare help overnight or otherwise.

ThreeRingCircus · 01/05/2023 17:46

Nope. Nobody to have them overnight and even if I could persuade a friend (and I think 2 nights and doing the school run with them etc is a BIG ask) then I still wouldn't go as using that much annual leave would mean I'd have to pay for extra days of holiday club in the school hols.

Random102 · 01/05/2023 17:46

Nope. GP here work full time so no access to childcare in the week.

BeerBot · 01/05/2023 17:46

I would have grandparents in not great health when mine were at primary so no I would not have left the country if they were babysitting.
I would just have declined a mid-week wedding straight off.
"Sorry we're unable to attend". No explanation. If they asked I'd say we're at work and kids have school

CarryOnThen · 01/05/2023 17:46

Not currently. One set of grandparents lives too far away. Another is closer but has her own caring responsibilities for her DH and couldn’t leave him for two nights. No other family around.

LuckyDipForTheEuro · 01/05/2023 17:47

Wasn't possible when I was married! Now if the XH has some notice and gets a reciprocal extra couple of nights child FREE I could probably manage it. They are teenagers too which lends some freedom but not overnights just yet. For 13 years of marriage would have been a nope. Not advocating divorce in general obv!

Napmum · 01/05/2023 17:47

No, we don't have overnugjt childcare my Mum's dead, and my mother-in-law is not willing to tka eour son overnight

TheSnowyOwl · 01/05/2023 17:49

We would be able to use a nanny for two (not ours, but one who works for a friend and who knows us, the children and house well). However, we aren’t able to go away and both leave one of children due to sen.

Ragwort · 01/05/2023 17:50

With plenty of notice I could have asked my DPs to come and stay, they lived over 200 miles away but were retired and did visit on one occasion for an overnight wedding trip. I also had a good friend and we would 'swap' childcare duties.

Whether I would want to attend a wedding that involved a two night overnight stay is a different question Grin.