My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

[Niceseasidetown]

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

I am assuming you live in the UK and the azzhat lives/works out of TX?

I do hope you out him at some point, even if it's just in DMs. A lot of people posting on his twit account or other acct., as long as they don't reveal you or that you worked there, could be a good thing because the public has the right to know who is a horrible person, just as they found out about so many politicians, business leaders, billionaires, celebs and religious figures. No one should ever be above scrutiny and the truth.

At least write a book, do a podcast and let it all out.

Please don't do the exit interview. There's literally nothing in it for you. Plus you're a contractor - we don't need to do exit interviews. In fact, one of the beauties of contracting is not being subject to that short of bullshit. If you can't face telling them to shove the interview, just ask to reschedule because 'diary clash' or whatever. Then repeat to fade until you're finally out the door. Good luck with your escape and with finding proper contract work in future x

Mot read the full thread, but from what I’ve seen you’ve had lots of good advice already, so I will just add - find something stress relieving to do outside of work, such as kick boxing where you can let out all your frustrations rather than letting them build up inside - and good luck finding something new

Well done OP. You've coped amazingly. I hope you don't go to the exit meeting, or if you do go you can be honest.

OP you’ve been unlucky with this job, chances are the next job will turn up soon hopefully soon a with a less bad boss - and you will be FREE of this wanker.

How you’ve borne this treatment I don’t know, but I’ve had a wanker u-turning, gaslighting ‘God’ boss and it was hell on earth. The feeling of freedom on the day I left is unforgettable, even all these years on!

Yes- swerve the exit interview, leave nice and tidily and swan off into the sunset. (Whilst reducing every possible bill and chasing every half opportunity down obv).

Let us know how you get on

I trust that on your last day you will loudly inform him to go fuck himself in front of as many people as possible.

Well done on leaving

I'm only after reading the first 100 posts and it reads like you're working for Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons. Maniacal almost.

Just after seeing at the bottom of the page that there are over 500+ more posts. Off to read them now.

Two more days and you are free!! Seeing as “HR” didn’t help at all with your horrible big boss what is the point on the exit interview.

Best of luck with your new venture!

I can’t see how your successor can meet the targets you were set on 15 hours a week, but that’s not your problem any more!

Holy crap on a cracker! You've had to put up with a whole heap of workplace bullying.
I'd do a quick check to find out if contractors actually have to give an exit interview, I don't think they do.
If you don't think you can get out of doing one, I'd actually say to the person interviewing you "I'd rather not say/answer that question for fear of incriminating someone" as your de facto response. Repeat as often as you feel you need to.

@Niceseasidetown you could write a book. If you have signed an NDA, you could sell your story to make some money one day. The press need an undercover sting.

I suspect drugs maybe involved with this personality

OP, fair play to you. You've managed this so well and I wish you all the best for your next steps.

I had one question though, what is to be gained at this stage from not being upfront about the bullying in the exit interview (if you decide to attend it)? You're being approached within your industry so your profile and reputation is obviously really positive. What does this man/company still have over you? Genuine question and apologies if I've missed something that explains it.

Good luck with your future plans , i hope when you are out of this shit show you can tell us who he is !

Record the evidence and go public once you are out of there. It’s not acceptable. Hugs.

I wish I had read this sooner. My DH worked with a batshit, utterly unreasonable narcissist and became a shell of himself so bloody quickly. I sent him this book to his office, which is a quick read, and I believe it helped. One of the things it spells out is that sometimes cutting your losses IS winning when it comes to these people because they’re never happy until they destroy you.
One memorable example of DH’s boss was when he insisted on people emailing and asking his permission if they wanted to drop by someone’s desk and say hello or happy birthday, etc - citing the reason for speaking to that other person, and how long they were likely to be - and to clock back in with a summary of that conversation. (He was paranoid that people were colluding behind his back) Also, he kept a well-thumbed translation of “Mein Kampf” on his desk for all to see. The business was akin to a football club and this guy was the Anti-Ted Lasso.

The Pocket Psycho

Not true. You would get a lower level of compensatory damages if you are out of work for less time, but the fact that you were looking for another job (because the boss is so fucking awful) is entirely separate from whether or not there has been constructive dismal.
please don’t give advice you aren’t qualified to give, it can be damaging for people,

I really don't understand why you have to lie? Either don't go - GCWorkNightmare has a very good point that an exit interview isn't normal for a contractor, or go, and tell the truth. What harm can it cause you? And it could be very cathartic.

I've been in the position of being horrendously bullied and overworked at work (NHS 😏) - I too was desperate to keep the job for monetary/practical reasons.
I ended up getting pretty ill, formal hospital diagnosis of M.E./CFS.
I still kick myself for not calling them all cunts and walking out the door, I was too timid.

You're definitely not alone in this shitty situation, at least you know it's 'not you'.

I'm dying to know who your boss is/was. Just started the thread - reading on ..

Can you push back? Call him out when his behaviour is falling short

BTW, when everyone was trying to work out who your boss is and you described the set-up, I was going to make a joke about you being one of Andrew Rate’s Arm Candy Dollies who has finally seen the light. I figured you were probably a bit too stressed out to find it very funny at the time, but this is how I picture your F-wit boss.

Record him.
Film him.
Gather evidence.
Then call him out, and out the evidence everywhere.
If he's THAT famous, then you can sell your story to the gutter press and take the money in lieu of working your notice.

I hate bullies.

How horrible, Ditto re accidently leaving your phone on..

With regard to exit interviews. I worked for a big corporate company for any many years. Left a few years ago. I was badgered to do an exit interview. Really pestered so I did! Told them offshoring didnt work and clients hated constant change of staff. I had been on an account for a number of years and client really appreciated it. Trusted me to tell them as it was and to also work in partnerhsip with them. Had to do the interview face to face!

The notes from the exit intereview in error were sent to me!! I was accused of almost being racist and that they thought the only reason the client said they didnt like change was because I had given them something without charging them(!!) which wasnt true. This was a big coporate. You couldnt do things like that!

They also said they would throw the notes in the bin because they didnt want negative comments on file because it made the seniors look bad!

I send the notes back to them saying these had been sent to me in error and that I was challenging what they were saying. Never heard back although I know they read it. I didnt want to mess up my leavers payment so didnt take it any further but I think a lot of this sort of stuff goes on.

I know you've said you're only looking here for emotional coping techniques but take a step back from what you've just said, as if you're looking at someone else saying it
He CANNOT get away with this. If you can do it legally, OUT him!
I've been bullied many times - seem to attract them 🙄 - it is always people who never have anyone standing up to them.
Several times I've been the first one to do it. I tell you what, in the long run I'm so glad I did. Both for myself and for the fact it might slightly change things for other people these utter c*nts come in contact with.

Without saying who it is, do a my Boss is a C&^£ podcast/blog/tictoc series and use the material to make money off him, when you leave, make sure s/he sees it

Is it Dyson?