Is that money ‘mine’?

[MoneyMine]

I am disabled and receive ESA (so that’s my ‘income’)

Ive just been awarded PIP and have received backdated money. It’s quite a bit of money (for me). About the equivalent of 1 month of DH monthly wage.

dh wants to treat that money as ‘put it in the common pot’.
im thinking this is money to improve my quality of life, xtra cost due to my disability etc… Not to go and buy groceries or do some decorating.
ESA goes in the common pot.

What do you all think?

PIP is the adult version of DLA.

People do not get DLA and PIP. DLA replaced PIP many years ago.

No.

PIP replaced DLA for adults years ago.

DLA is only available to children

Ah ok. I didn't know that

This has opened my eyes to the fact the NHS don’t provide EWCs! Quite shocked at that as I would assume they are v expensive and many people wouldn’t be able to afford even with PIP.

You can’t get DLA as well as PIP - in fact you can’t claim DLA at all now, unless you’re under 16, or were past retirement age when PIP was introduced, so still claiming DLA as a legacy benefit. The OP’s DH is working (higher rate tax payer) so she will likely be claiming contribution based ESA, which is not means tested - and will have worked at some point as it’s based on the last two years NI contributions prior to the claim. Off the top of my head she’ll be entitled to have the council tax dropped by a band if she uses a wheelchair indoors or needs a downstairs shower room, she should have a disabled badge for the car, various concessionary travel passes, and the £150 PIP related cost of living payments later this year. CAB will be able to advise her of any other concessions available locally to PIP claimants, but contributory ESA alone won’t entitle her to anything else as it’s not income related.

Yes it makes a big difference if they're not even majorly struggling financially.

@MoneyMine Plan what you might find helpful to have and get it/buy a block of sessions or whatever.

Sorry OP, this really sucks for you.

My DH is in receipt of Adult Disability Payment (Scottish replacement of PIP). We treat it like all household income where 60% goes in joint and 40% he keeps although I might think about that a bit more after reading this thread tbh.

HOWEVER, I would never begrudge spending the joint money on stuff he needs. For example upgraded the car with it so that it was easier for him to get in and out for example.

The NHS does in fact provide EWC - I know because I have one. You have to meet extremely strict criteria to qualify however

Are you really comparing her PIP with a lottery win?

I think you have bigger issues than where the money goes to be brutally honest.
If your H would seriously rather get a new carpet than something that will give you genuine support you've got massive problems.
Restricting your freedom and independence by refusing you an electric wheelchair is absolutely not on.

The unbelievable ignorance around disability on this thread is astounding. You’re all so terribly lucky, that ignorance is a privilege, don’t forget that.

OP this money is for you and you alone. You already contribute £500 to the family pot. I hope you can protect yourself from this man.

There are electric wheelchairs available from NHS wheelchair services, but there are strict eligibility conditions and you need a specialist referral. Even then you may not qualify if the assessment indicates you could use a manual one. Alternatively you may qualify for a £250 voucher towards buying privately. PIP can help you access one on the Motability scheme, on a three year lease, but most disabled people prefer to use their mobility component to lease a car, and Motability won’t allow you to do both. The only other provision for specialist chairs - either high end lightweight manuals, or power chairs, are through private companies, some of whom offer finance. EBay is also a good source, as many second hand ones can be sourced at more affordable prices.

Your money should go in the communal pot the same as your husbands wages, but... after basic necessities, something that would make a big improvement to your quality of life should have more priority than something that’s more of a, well it’d be nice to do that if we’ve spare money.

So your wheelchair hoist should be a priority over replacing carpets unless the carpets are absolutely on their last legs and this would be the only way you’d manage to replace them.

IMO anyway.

But it kind of sounds like your husband doesn’t really care about your quality of life tbh, which is a much bigger issue than just quibbling about where money gets spent.

In a thread that includes a lot of ignorance and bad advice and one or two posts of outright prejudice - this is the best response

Astounded that even after various advice as to why PIP is paid, some posters are still insistent that it should go into the family pot. The OP is leasing a car from Motability, presumably used as the family car, so she’s contributing that, as well as the £500 monthly ESA payment. She has £400 PIP care component left out of that, which won’t go far given that she has severe limitations. Why do people think this should go into the pot as well ?

I thought the thread about labels earlier was a shocking indictment of the disablism on MN but with this thread some of you have really outdone yourselves.

PIP has replaced DLA.

I would look at

• disabled facilities grant
• carers allowance for DH (he earns too much to get it but you can have underlying entitlement status, which can be useful)
• carers assessment which can cover day to day expenses for certain things so he can spend more time helping you and might take some of the grumpy out of him. I’m presuming you didn’t start your married life disabled so this is probably quite a big adjustment for him… he doesn’t sound like he is handling it well.

Check turn2us benefits calculator and/or contact CA to ensure you have all you’re due.

Take care.

My plan next is to go and see CAB re added benefits, incl council tax, disability premium etc…
Ill ask them about the carer allowance too @Robinni.

@Flamingmango tbh my initial reaction would have been along those lines too. I dont think there is anything wrong as such with putting it in the common pot as long as the disabled person can have access to whatever they need for their disability.
For me, it means I don’t want to think twice about spending some of that money of acupuncture treatments to treat my migraines (esp as painkillers don’t work for me). I don’t want to feel guilty about the cost of the therapist I’m seeing to help me adjust and deal with the grief coming from suddenly being disabled, loosing my job and business etc….
Unfortunately, for us, if that money goes in the common pot, it will get used for ‘things’ and just disappear.
Because the assumption is not that it’s specifically to help me with my health needs 😢😢

@MoneyMine don't forget that if you don't have a motability car you can get free road tax for your car. (See Gov.uk website form INS216)

Also you can get a bus pass (council used to do this)

Council also for Council Tax Reduction, usually form on their website. Also Blue Badge.

Your PIP entitlement letter is what gives you access to most things.

Also a lot of places do schemes for free carer/companion tickets. Which makes going out easier as you can take someone to help.

In my pre disabled life I was a benefits advisor at the CAB so feel free to ask if I can help I will.

I would really recommend Turn2us. They are a better resource than the CAB imo. And you don't need to leave the house!

Thank you @Chickmad.
I really need to spend time going through all that.

https://www.gov.uk/financial-help-disabled/print

OP this is a link to gov.uk help and finance available to disabled people. Contains some useful unfo and links to further help.

Please do spend the money on things to improve your life.
I would write a list of what it's going to be spent on and how there isn't any spare to go in the pot or how it's going into the wheelchair service/repairs/replacement pot.

Definitely keep your eye out on EBay for the perfect wheelchair going up sale 2nd hand with the correct dimensions, excellent condition etc.

If he argues back just be calm and state but that is why your receive PIP not for general living costs. If you didn't need all these extra things you wouldn't have received PIP.

Hope the acupuncture works, I've found it so helpful but not for migraines. May also be worth seeing a GOOD osteopath to see if it's being caused by neck/back issues as it could be your posture and wheelchair use that is impacting on them.

Don’t bother with CAB - Scope and Turn2us are much better.

@Chickmad yes I agree with you that free carers tickets are great.

Cinema - get CEA card

National Trust have their own scheme

Theatre/concerts etc - some will have a direct scheme you have to register with some operate via ticketmaster’s new disability access tickets (which in my opinion are a bit crap compared to precovid ticketmaster access but anyway…)

Aquariums/Zoos all that sort of caper - will usually accept PIP letter, rarely ask for it.

Reduced cost/free carer on public transport

It’s all a bit bitty, but once you have it sorted it reduces costs and improves your quality of life a lot.

Will also be another way of you contributing to costs. So win win.