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What does feeling broody or wanting a child feel like?

102 replies

FisherthemsFriend · 28/04/2023 15:57

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this and would be curious to know. Have you always known you wanted children or did it arrive later, eg in your 30s or towards 40s?

OP posts:
Bexx87 · 28/04/2023 16:22

I wanted a baby from around 15. I had my first when I was 20 and I just kept feeling like I wasn't done. It was a deep longing to be pregnant and have a baby in my arms again. When I saw a woman pregnant or with a newborn I would be jealous and wish it was. I ended up having 4 kids in my 20s and then I knew I was done. I still like babies but it's different now because I know it's a stage of my life that's passed and I feel like I would be regressing if I went back.

HowManySunflowers · 28/04/2023 16:26

I've always wanted babies from when I was a teen. I used to tell my 16yo boyfriend I wanted a baby and terrify him! It's hard to describe what it feels like really. Just that in my future there were always babies. I didn't actually get pregnant until I was 30 (as DH wasn't ready).

HowManySunflowers · 28/04/2023 16:26

I have three DC now btw.

MissLucyLiu · 28/04/2023 16:26

FisherthemsFriend · 28/04/2023 15:57

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this and would be curious to know. Have you always known you wanted children or did it arrive later, eg in your 30s or towards 40s?

I am 34. Still waiting for this feeling to come to me.

Buebananas · 28/04/2023 16:28

Surely it depends on whether you find a suitable partner whom you want to have children with?!

I never even thought about having children before I was happily married and had my career on track

Napoleandynamite · 28/04/2023 16:32

I felt I wanted one because it was the next step in life. Then I had a miscarriage and everything changed. I was overcome with a primal urge to get pregnant asap, was obsessed with having a baby it was all I thought about.

GalileoHumpkins · 28/04/2023 16:33

MissLucyLiu · 28/04/2023 16:26

I am 34. Still waiting for this feeling to come to me.

I'm almost 54 and it never arrived for me, being a mother just wasn't for me.

Surely it depends on whether you find a suitable partner whom you want to have children with?!

Of course it doesn't.

DustyLee123 · 28/04/2023 16:35

I had an actual pain in my chest when thinking about it.

GalileoHumpkins · 28/04/2023 16:35

Pressed post too soon. I've read lots of threads on here from women wanting children but not wanting a relationship.

Blueberrycrisp · 28/04/2023 16:36

I didn't want children at all, then suddenly at 28 it hit me like a ton of bricks - it's no exaggeration to say it was all I could think about. For me, it felt like an all-encompassing obsession!

I have 3 children now, lol

Bexx87 · 28/04/2023 16:43

Buebananas · 28/04/2023 16:28

Surely it depends on whether you find a suitable partner whom you want to have children with?!

I never even thought about having children before I was happily married and had my career on track

Not for me. I can see why people wait and it's more ideal all round to be with with right person, but the need to have a baby was stronger than me wanting to be with a man. I had 3 kids before I met my husband. If I hadn't fell pregnant the way I did, I'd have used a donor. And I was content being a single mum as they were all I needed. But meeting him was the cherry on the cake and we had one together.

Buebananas · 28/04/2023 16:45

And I was content being a single mum as they were all I needed

Shouldn't the needs of the children also matter Confused?

Plump82 · 28/04/2023 16:47

I have a physical pain in my heart/chest. I've always wanted to be a mum but sadly it just hadn't happened. Its agony seeing my friends have their beautiful babies.

Mushroo · 28/04/2023 16:51

I never wanted kids, I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse for years, they seemed noisy, expensive, gross, annoying and no reward.

I turned 30 and something switch and it seemed like a ‘maybe one day’. I then changed jobs so I couldn’t try (waiting for mat leave) and I became like a woman obsessed.

The idea of having a family seemed like the right next step, I’d be on holiday and be jealous of other couples with small kids, even when they were crying my reaction went from ‘stfu’ to ‘aww, poor baby’.

I havent really felt that ‘ache’ people refer to, but I definitely like the idea of a little baby. Currently pregnant so hopefully the right decision….

I would say though, the urge was for me and DH to take that next step, I don’t think I’d have been broody enough to go ahead as a single parent, whereas I know for others they would.

lndnbrdge91 · 28/04/2023 16:56

I never actively wanted one but my husband did. But it wasn't that I didn't want them - if that makes sense.

Once we were married (28) after having done a lot of things we wanted to and had fun, and we had a house etc it seemed like the 'next thing' and I remember feeling a bit apprehensive but did see children in my future. I have two lovely children.

So, I've never felt actively broody...until now aged 42 when I see a baby and think 'oh' and feel a bit like I want one! However my age and previous medical issues during my last pregnancy mean I won't have more than two. Yet I think if I'd left it til I felt broody it may have been too late for me - and now understand that word/feeling which I never did before!

crosstalk · 28/04/2023 16:57

I think it can be a physical and/or emotional need. I was never maternal nor wanted a child in my twenties. I got married because I loved the bloke. Then I lost a child and the emotional need became all consuming. Probably partly because all animals try to reproduce so it's a basic instinct and partly because it's a next stage to partnering up. However, I don't understand people in their teens and twenties going it alone with no back up just because they fancy having a baby.

Itstarts · 28/04/2023 16:58

Like your heart wants to burst.

RampantIvy · 28/04/2023 17:02

I have never felt broody, ever. When I was told that the chances of having a successful pregnancy were extremely small I just thought "oh well".

Then I got pregnant and had a baby at 41. I love DD with all my heart, but I never felt the urge to have another. It didn't happen anyway in spite of throwing all caution to the wind.

So, I'm with the OP. What is it that makes some women want a baby so much that it overtakes everything esle in life? What is missing from their lives that only a baby can fill it?

DD (22) is adamant that she never wants children. She really dislikes babies and small children. She hates the noise they make, and she gets exasperated at people who tell her that she will change her mind when she is older. Are we both lacking in the hormones that make women yearn for a baby?

Careeradviceplease1234 · 28/04/2023 17:02

I'm 28 with no kids and currently no prospect of having one.

For me it's a physical ache. I feel it In the pit of my stomach. Seeing babies makes me feel emotional and when people announce pregnancies I feel intense jealousy and upset which is uncharacteristic for me.

However part of my feelings are maybe due to being so far away from having one which may cloud my perspective.

dudsville · 28/04/2023 17:02

For me i was blindsided. I'd discussed having children with my then husband, we even started to try but that immediately brought up for my the reality that the rela was unhealthy and i wouldn't bring a child into it. That was easy for me as I'd never wanted children. Then one random day i was on a bus and saw a pg woman in the street and i was absolutely enthralled with this overwhelming notion that I wanted a baby. Total biology, and a kink in the system as i was then too old, and we tried and didn't succeed . That was the weirdest 2 yrs of my life.

reabies · 28/04/2023 17:06

I always thought oh yeah kids one day would be nice, then our next door neighbours brought their newborn home and everything in my body started screaming at me to have one. Mine is now nearly a year and that feeling is starting up again - like PP it's almost all I can think about, looking at baby names, thinking about what we can reuse, how we'd configure the house for two babies. Our financial situ means we won't be trying probably until later this year but that feeling is deffo building up in me getting stronger by the day.

Bexx87 · 28/04/2023 17:07

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RampantIvy · 28/04/2023 17:09

There was no need for that @Bexx87

SnapDragon5 · 28/04/2023 17:10

Up until my mid-twenties I was pretty sure I'd never have children. I even told my parents I would never give them grandchildren.

Then started feeling the pangs.

I'm now mid-thirties and it hasn't happened yet (fertility issues) and it's becoming very painful.

Weird how it changes.

Glorification · 28/04/2023 17:16

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At least you’re not one of those who is stuck with a DH you can’t trust but has had to keep forgiving him and taking him back and who’s a loser so good for you!!!!