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Original poster

What does feeling broody or wanting a child feel like?

102 replies

FisherthemsFriend · 28/04/2023 15:57

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this and would be curious to know. Have you always known you wanted children or did it arrive later, eg in your 30s or towards 40s?

OP posts:
SnapDragon5 · 28/04/2023 17:16

What is it that makes some women want a baby so much that it overtakes everything esle in life? What is missing from their lives that only a baby can fill it?

@RampantIvy Well I guess procreation is the huge biological driving force of our species. Without it none of us would be here so of course it's a strong biological urge.

But aside from that, for me, I got to a stage in my life in my mid-late twenties where I'd achieved quite a lot career wise, was starting to think about the future, I guess I felt I have a good life andsome wisdom to pass on, and I think (rightly or wrongly) raising a child is. something I'd be very good at. Not having the opportunity to do that would feel very sad to me.

I also know the love between a parent and child is different to other kinds of love, and I want to experience that aspect of being human.

So many reasons, impossible to sum up everything in a comment here but obviously, its pretty huge.

Mummyof287 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Literally as long as I can remember.Having wanted it my whole life, that moment when I first held DD1 and realised I finally had a baby all of my own was absolutely incredible ☺️

Original poster
FisherthemsFriend · 29/04/2023 17:14

Flowers to those who haven’t been able to have children. I can’t imagine what’s it like to have that feeling and then not be able to get there.

OP posts:
ArianahX · 29/04/2023 17:25

I planned to meet a nice man & have children in my 30s, but I have not been able to have children because I've had poor mental health since my mid 30s, now I'm 46 possibly still able to conceive but it's not a good idea for lots of reasons!

Desperately sad about it but try not to think about it.

Wanting a baby is like a deep need within you, it's painful. I'm slowly learning to live with it. And accept that it's not to be.
I love babies, small children, cute animals even, I just want to make a fuss and be a mum.

Dollmeup · 29/04/2023 17:30

I was never interested in having children until I was in my late 20s and then it was like a switch flipped and it was all I could think about! Had two and the switch flipped off again and I knew I was done with the baby stage.

Glorification · 29/04/2023 17:30

@ArianahX
look at it another way, kids need money, time and would you really want to bring kids into the world we live in now? There’s always two sides to this! Hope you’re ok.

Bakingdisaster · 29/04/2023 17:35

I always thought I didn't want children or at best wasn't sure as got older, it seemed so far off in my 20s, i just couldn't imagine it. I was far more interested in working, saving and travelling. Then at 30 this weird feeling hit me! I would see babies and young children and feel la deep pang in my stomach, I would imagine me and dh having our own baby and would get abit emotional! Then me and dh bought a house and I knew we would try for a child. We now have 2, It is tough when they're little, but gets less relentless as they get older. I couldn't imagine it any other way, they bring me so much joy.

Sparkles29 · 29/04/2023 17:35

It's like a physical need that overcomes anything else, you can almost feel the baby in your arms

Bakingdisaster · 29/04/2023 17:37

*'Had two and the switch flipped off again and I knew I was done with the baby stage.'

I'm with you there @Dollmeup I had to have dc2 as felt uncomplete. Then boom family complete and knew I was done, ready to enjoy a less relentless existence with easier meals and holidays!

Bakingdisaster · 29/04/2023 17:37

incomplete*

H2023 · 29/04/2023 17:42

I never really thought about having children, if anything didn’t want them. Then when I turned thirty I changed my mind pretty quickly, like a switch had been flipped. I wasn’t really broody but just pictured our life with our own family. Two years later our son is 3 months old and I can’t wait to give him a sibling, I’m just wondering if I’ll feel done at two, not sure I will… how things change!

DameKatyDenisesClagnuts · 29/04/2023 18:42

I had fertility issues and always described the longing feeling as 'empty arms'

Roselilly36 · 29/04/2023 18:56

Blueberrycrisp · 28/04/2023 16:36

I didn't want children at all, then suddenly at 28 it hit me like a ton of bricks - it's no exaggeration to say it was all I could think about. For me, it felt like an all-encompassing obsession!

I have 3 children now, lol

100% agree, that was my experience too, got to 28 no interest in having children before, it was just a totally overwhelming feeling. I knew I wanted a baby and preferably that afternoon! Lucky for me, DH felt the same and I fell pregnant very quickly, both times.

RampantIvy · 29/04/2023 18:57

Sparkles29 · 29/04/2023 17:35

It's like a physical need that overcomes anything else, you can almost feel the baby in your arms

It is a feeling I never felt.

Maybe there is something wrong with me.

Lotusflower16 · 29/04/2023 19:07

I made up my mind about having children when I met the right partner. Since life tends to be crap, we haven't managed to have one yet (fertility struggles). I still long to hold my precious child in my arms and the thought of not doing it breaks my heart every day. However, I don't regret not having a child when younger with any of my exes.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 29/04/2023 19:08

RampantIvy · 29/04/2023 18:57

It is a feeling I never felt.

Maybe there is something wrong with me.

Show quote history

Must be something wrong with me as well! Mid fifties and never had the urge, maybe I lack a gene or something, dogs on the other hand…….. In all seriousness though I do wonder why I have never felt that biological urge so many women do, I often wonder what is the science behind it.

usererror99 · 29/04/2023 19:20

I never felt that maternal before....TTC felt like the next step after getting married. When I lost my first baby at 12 weeks it was then I felt this all consuming emptiness and need to become a mother, a physical emptiness and ache that just couldn't be filled any other way

RampantIvy · 29/04/2023 19:29

I often wonder what is the science behind it.

Yes, so do I @LadyVictoriaSponge. I never suffered from PMT or had a dreadful menopause. I never had the urge to binge on chocolate at certain times of the month. Maybe I had fewer hormones rampaging round me?

MeinKraft · 29/04/2023 20:17

Like others I didn't really get broody until I had a miscarriage (very early one thankfully) I mean I did love babies and knew I wanted one but the loss kicked the whole thing into overdrive. I used to cry when I was drunk because I thought I would never have children (I only have one ovary) I used to cry at that episode of the Royle Family when Denise gives birth. I felt like a mum who was missing her child.

89redballoons · 29/04/2023 20:25

I always knew I wanted children, but when my best friend had her little girl it went into overdrive. I was 31 and had just got married. I was absolutely baby obsessed.

At the time I remember describing it as like having a crush on someone. You know that feeling of not being able to think about anything else and being completely high on hormones? It was like that.

I did end up getting pregnant 6 months later and now I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I'm debating having a third but it's a much more measured, logical debate compared with that giddy broodiness I had before I had babies.

Whochangedmynamec · 29/04/2023 20:28

Never wanted them until I properly fell in love then really wanted their baby. Had a feeling of loss and sadness. It was almost a pain. Had my kids and had and still have an overwhelming sense of love for them.

HappyHourStartsNow · 29/04/2023 20:31

you start to have dreams that you are pregnant or are holding your baby, and when you wake a realise it was a dream you feel like there is a hole left behind and your heart is broken

Wishona · 29/04/2023 20:45

I knew I always wanted children. I was so careful with contraception till my career was established. Then I had a health scare which brought things forward by maybe 5 or so years. I was pregnant at 27.

QueefQueen80s · 29/04/2023 20:46

Never wanted them, not one maternal feeling and if an accident didn't happen then I still wouldn't have them.
However an accident did happen and as soon as I was pregnant I wanted him and LOVE being a mum, and had another.
It scares me that I might have never found out.

Malarandras · 29/04/2023 20:49

For me it was overwhelming, all consuming urge that would not dissipate regardless of what I did. It took up every waking moment and I could not think about anything else in any meaningful way. The only thing that would deal with it was having a baby. Then after my first I had that feeling again. After my second it never came back.