What antisocial things are you fantasising about?

[ClemFandango1]

My neighbours bloody wind chimes - I want to sneak into their garden whilst they're all out (it's impossible to tell as there seem to be a lot of them), and stick some kind of felt tape around the chimey bit so they look the same from a distance but make barely any noise.

I would also like to play klezmer music loudly next to the fence every time they start their obnoxious garden music.

Next door with the yappy dog that barks every time a blade of grass moves selling up and moving away is my fantasy.

Next door the other side having the smoke from their log burner blow down Their flue and fill their house with their stinking smoke instead of ours all autumn, winter and spring, along with their fire pit that smokes us out all summer exploding and ruining their patio to put them off getting another one would also be amazing.

Stabbing the neighbour’s netballs. The thud, thud, thud of her daily goal shooting practice (adult, not child) is reallllly getting on my nerves.

King Charles' crown falling off and rolling away at the coronation.

Giving four choice colleagues a good smacking!

Next door discovering their ground is an ancient archaeological site that they can never develop their bloody swimming pool on (which they currently have a planning permission request in for which makes the pool 15 feet from my living room and bedroom wall).

The Post Office owners being found to have embezzled thousands from stolen mail so new owners will replace them and they'll be nice. The current 2 are infamous for being horrible to everyone.

Putting one of the nails I keep having to use to fix my fence squarely into the footballs that come over daily. The bastards kick so hard, individual slats hang off and the nails I've used to previously fix them pop right out full length just hanging on at the tip.
They have a full on goal set up in their garden, and it's not even the kids kicking so hard, it's the Dad. The back half of my garden is fenced off for my rabbits to free roam during the day, they've been hit by balls several times.
My house is rented, no idea who's fence it is, but it's me constantly fixing it. Rabbits have escaped though gaps before. If I’m nailing a slat down, kids appear shouting through the fence at me. They've pulled slats way to one side to show their toddler our rabbits.
Around here there's no point going round to ask them to stop because it would end in a kick off and I’m a lone parent.
Take your kids, take your balls, take your husband and fuck off to a large field

@ComputerWifeKaren

I make a predication , that Annoying as heck your next door neighbours will move , something unexpectedly out of the blue, will happen in their lives and they will have to leave in haste hurry

I am often intuitive psychic I am intrigued ,
Can you let me know whether this predication comes true,

I have had night marish a few neighbours like that in various ways,
One set of next door neighbours, teenager liked playing football on their patio,
Smashed my bathroom window twice,
Luckily Landlord paid once for it,

Somehow I don't think landlord pay again

Other next door neighbours who had a teenager son,
Who had mates who would use our side of Rd as Grand Prix racing track in the nights and would tinker do work on their car at night times occasionally too,

Also had dodgey pick up vehicles that have malfunctioning, company/enterprise too,

Can you do their owners too? And all the crap breeders of dogs too that couldn’t give a fuck about anything but money? Thanks.

Is not antisocial on my part but would like it if the neighbour who permanently parks on double yellows blocking a junction got a ticket.

I'd love to reply to work emails with what I'm really thinking.

I would love to tell any horrible people I have come across in life, with No wonder some people prefer Animals, than people,

At this rate I am going to end up as a eccentric looking after animals

Or

Just fuck off

All animal abusers to have their atrocities returned to them 10 fold. That includes greeders 😡

Animals over humans all day long 👌

Muzzling SOME!!!!! dog owners instead of some dogs

Although I do think dogs should be all on a lead unless in fenced off/specific off lead areas

Anyone who leaves dogs shit on the pavement should be required to eat it.

Could you use screws instead? They stay firm unless the wood completely splits.

No way, it exists!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adhesive-Strips-Furniture-Protecting-Freedom/dp/B097P22H3K/ref=asc_df_B097P22H3K/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=534844896915&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6690261663523510678&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046081&hvtargid=pla-1393687591148&psc=1

Utter bastards. I feel your pain but as a PP said, they do tend to fuck off sooner rather than later so hang in there

I live in a "Close" with half a dozen other houses in a terrace which is accessed by a narrow lane lined with cottages, the woman at the top of the lane insists on parking on the space right outside her house on the corner consistently preventing anything larger than a van getting down there, this often prevents the weekly waste collection taking place for all the residents as the council wagon can't get down there. I fantasise about creeping down there 'ninja like' and emptying every single uncollected wheelie bin in her front garden. Yes silly I know 🤣

A colleague has just lost 3 stone on slimming world. It's made her an insufferable sw fanatic, and also hugely critical of anyone who's still fat because they 'won't take responsibility for their health' like she did. I quietly fantacise about the day she joins the 90% of dieters who put back more than they lost.

I wish my neighbour and her two kids would get a long case of laryngitis, especially at 11pm when mum is screaming at kids to go to bed and 8am when the screaming about going to school starts.

Kicking off-lead dogs that jump in my kids' faces off into the distance.

And their owners.

And the random make junkies from the needle exchange on the corner who come up to me in the park EVERY FUCKING TIME and try to persuade me into sex. For reference, I'm mid 40s, far and grey with very little uncovered skin, not that it should matter. With my kids.

Fuck, but it's been a long day today.

I do Muay Thai boxing and I have fantasies about getting into the ring, and really properly, genuinely, truly and brutally going to town on several of my colleagues.

This is much much more than a fantasy about giving them a quick wallop around the chops 😮