What antisocial things are you fantasising about?

[ClemFandango1]

My neighbours bloody wind chimes - I want to sneak into their garden whilst they're all out (it's impossible to tell as there seem to be a lot of them), and stick some kind of felt tape around the chimey bit so they look the same from a distance but make barely any noise.

I would also like to play klezmer music loudly next to the fence every time they start their obnoxious garden music.

I have always wanted to throw a brick through a plate glass window. It would, of course, probably bounce back and kill me....

Next time work colleague - a keyboard warrior- sends me a rude and unprofessional email ( no hr, family biz) I encourage my dh to do what he wants to do, which is go and visit them in person and break their fingers.

I would LOVE to tell the neighbours that they're impressing no one with their constant home "improvements" and the planned loft conversion looks shit and will be shit. And while I'm there I'm mimic their constant fucking whooping and cheering at their kid. Just. Let. Him. Be.
I hear it will through the walls and it's driving me mad.

I would make people only have as many cars as can fit on their drive. Over the road have four vehicles, for three people, and one off road space. It's just lucky I'm brilliant at parking as it's very difficult to access my own drive.

I would whack dogs that jump up at my kids and the owners would say sorry.

I would leave my dc at school when the teacher takes 10 mins after the gate to let them out (reception age!). We are expected to have them in on time, please let them out on time!

@LinMortisanass I’d wager they are far uglier than you.

Winding my car window down and pushing over the Sunday morning cyclists riding two abreast along country roads.

Boot the neighbours cat that keeps coming in my garden and scaring the birds and our guinea pigs back over the fence.

Chopping down the forest which blocks our house's view of a lake XD

For next-doors dogs to mysteriously develop laryngitis. They are completely untrained and are left outside for hours on end, even in the rain and bitter cold - you can imagine how much they like that. So they howl, whine, bark, growl, snarl and fight due to lack of attention. This is so loud then even when they are inside thier own home with windows and doors shut, we can hear them inside our house (not joined on, 2 garages in between) I love to garden, but the second I so much as open the back door they are up against the wire section of fence going off at thier loudest and this continues for the entire time I'm out there. The original fence panel blew down, neighbours replaced with wire so now the dogs can see into our garden. It's completely destroyed my love of my garden. Now I hate so much as putting the washing out. Our previous neighbour had a dog, we had absolutely no issue with that, this lot are something else 🙄

All the neighbours getting rid of their cats.

Before fishermen get a license or are allowed to buy rods and stuff, they need to be pulled out of a lake by a barb in their mouth. Just so they know what it is like for the fish.

I fantasise about all blood sports being banned.

For the sweary shouty awful neighbours across the street to suddenly need to move away to a place that needs lots of work. Our street has a lot of construction going on and gave our painters an earful because of the trucks (nothing to do with the painters). They're horrible antisocial fuckers.

To get my mouthy bitchy manager and a couple of my equally mouthy jobsworth crawling colleagues on to the judo mat for a few minutes and see if they are still as mouthy and bitchy towards me afterwards. Being pleasant costs nothing.