What antisocial things are you fantasising about?

[ClemFandango1]

My neighbours bloody wind chimes - I want to sneak into their garden whilst they're all out (it's impossible to tell as there seem to be a lot of them), and stick some kind of felt tape around the chimey bit so they look the same from a distance but make barely any noise.

I would also like to play klezmer music loudly next to the fence every time they start their obnoxious garden music.

Is that after the revolution and guillotine?

Slashing the tyres of every stupid loud pop pop car I hear.

I’d like the woman who takes her dog to the park at 6:30 every morning for it to yap yap yap outside my bedroom window at the poor ducks for half an hour to have a minor and not very painful injury that means she can’t walk to the park for a while.

To have the car belonging to the young, who lives a few doors up, taken away and crushed. The loud exhaust doesn't really bother me, but the parking 3/4 of a space down from the top of the marked parking area really, really infuriates me.

You can't park there, because it'd block a neighbour's drive AND the traffic wardens ticket cars just over the lines.

BASTARD!

A Tory landslide at the next general election (I have money riding on it).

Ooh, that's proper evil!

There's a very busy road through my village, which is the only route in or out. One man who lives on this road parks his car on the side street about 50 yards from his front door but always pulls up right in front of his house to take in shopping and to let his wife and/or children in or out. In the mornings he is often waiting there for 15-20 mins whilst his wife gets the DC ready to leave. The road is not wide enough for 3 cars so this means that all the traffic coming both ways is delayed as people take turns to move around him. None of the have mobility problems. He has apparently told his neighbour that it can take a while to get out of the side street so he likes to get on the main road nice and early to avoid being delayed getting to school, but doesn't want to have to make the DC leave earlier. So everyone else basically has to factor in delays to their journey so that he doesn't. Part of me would like his car to be hit by a truck (without the DC in obviously) or at least for him to get a massive fine and points on his licence

Statistically it's just a matter of time, innit?
Especially as SW spectacularly fail to educate on the actual mechanics of weight loss, preferring to keep people befuddled and paying.

Reading with intrigue

What about pissing on car wheels? Asking for a friend

😂

The conifer chainsaw massacre….

WIBU to attach one of those anti-bark sensors to the fence? The type that makes a high pitched noise when they bark?

Neighbour's dogs are yappy little fucks who have never been trained and go off if I so much as fart in the direction of the garden.

Next door with their perfect grass, not a blade out of place (they do nothing themselves, their parents come in every day to do it). They stand at our fence tutting and bitching about my garden as I'm allowing it to be a wildlife garden with meadow, insect hotel and a small wildlife pond. I fantasise about throwing some meadow seeds on their perfect grass and watching them go out of their minds once the lovely flowers take over 😂

1. Vandalising cars that park at dropped curbs
2. Maiming people who idle their engines at school drop-off and pick-up
3. Approaching men urinating in public and slicing them in half with a katana, from head to crotch

I would love to never see any of my current or past neighbours or school run parents.

Name changed for obvious reasons! NDN has an old car that they don't use and it's been parked on our road (limited parking space and no driveways) for years without moving. I have fantasies about pushing it down the hill or of it being towed away, never to return

Can’t you report it to the council as an abandoned vehicle?

I want to break into the old cinema in my town.

No idea why. Never gonna do it.

Kicking over my neighbours motor bike when he leaves it to 'warm up' outside his garage door. They are next door, but around the corner, their garage door is RIGHT underneath MY bedroom window.

I may or may not have run out screaming at him like a banshee at 6:15 the other morning 😳

He'll know it's me if it gets kicked over, so might have to keep fantasising for a while longer.

Arrogant noisy fucker.

Reading though the various files of the intelligence services

https://vehicleenquiry.service.gov.uk/

You can use this website to check if the vehicle is taxed and has a MOT and if it doesn't you can then report it.

SantanaBinLorry · Today 16:58

Kicking over my neighbours motor bike when he leaves it to 'warm up' outside his garage door.

Ah. Sorry.

Bike engines are different to cars and need about five minutes of warming up, otherwise they stall and you fall off. Modern ones have injectors, so the revs are a lot lower and hence, quieter. Older ones, with carburettors tend to need to higher revs, but 3,000 rpm is enough.

If he's screaming the nuts off it, he's daft, as that's damaging the engine.

Thanks @Gingerkittykat but I've checked and it is, unfortunately

I wish for my horrible ex neighbors to have even worse neighbors so they know what it's like! I fantasised that the people who moved into my house were delighted with the neighbors hot tub, loud voices and loud music and screamed "party street" whilst putting their own even louder music on! Or they were big into extensions and did work all summer long! Or they went round there and went mental at them! Or they made noise all the time of some description so the horrible neighbors had no rest!

Basically make their lives a misery like they did to mine.