Grudges you continue to hold

[OneFrenchEgg]

Just drive a different way home, past a car wash and remembered how I refuse to use it on principle 😂
Years ago, I was in a hurry and no one in front - as I drove in, and was being 'washed' by one of the chaps, the one in charge allowed someone to jump the queue as they were 'in a hurry' and 'just wanted a spritz' - nope, they reversed all the way back, had everything, and I sat fuming at the the queue jumpy enablement.
Refuse to go back, I'm sure they are disappointed 😂

When I was a child I had a playset in the garden. My cousin came for a holiday (lived in a different city) he was overweight and broke the swing (I was about 5 or 6 at the time). I finally got over it when I was about 15 or 16, and decided I'd be "friends" with him again 😆 before that I was still so angry at him

All the doctors who told me my chronic disabling illness in my 40s was all in my head. Had years of therapy and now realize it was like being gaslit into thinking I was mad. I was seeing an allergist (as I'd also suddenly developed allergies) and she knew of my other problems and suggested that maybe I'd like to see another doctor she knew of. I almost didn't bother because I didn't want another 'all in my head' diagnosis. Turns out the doctor was a well known vascular specialist and after two visits and a range of tests, diagnosed me with a form of dysautonomia (dsyfunctional autonomic system) barely known then. Very little info on the net back then. and now it's become more commonly known and is diagnosed more often. All doctors know what it is now.

But due to all the years of being told it was in my head has me still, occasionally, wondering if I'm making it all up. In reality no what's happening is measurable but the damage done to my mind and belief in myself was huge. It was not a typical or deliberate form of gaslighting but it had a very similar effect on belief in myself.

I don't think of those doctors often but when I do I think, 'Bastards.' An "I don't know,' from them would have been preferable to 'it's all in your head.' Not to mention, I live in a country where we pay the major part of our medical bills. And all those therapy bills? How about a refund?

I have no idea why 'what's happening is measurable' has a line through it. A key i pressed accdently I guess.

Went to order blinds for our new home, so called in at the local blinds place in the local shopping centre. We were moving in a few days before Christmas so didn’t expect them before Christmas, but wanted to get the order in before the Christmas break anyway.

Walked up to the guy and literally all I got out was “Hi, we’re looking to order some blinds” before I was cut off by this bloke sitting in a chair. “No chance”.

Not “yes that’s fine, unfortunately our deadline for pre Christmas delivery has passed but if you still want to go ahead we can absolutely do that”. Just “no chance”.

We just walked away. It was so unnecessary rude and he lost out on sales of kitting out an entire house with blinds. We had a decent bit to spend as well.

Luckly Ikea saved the day with their temporary paper blind things to tide us over and we went to another blind shop in our town who came out a day later, measured the house up and had them installed by the end of the first week of January.

I can’t walk past it in the shopping centre now without scowling.

OH noonoohead, this must be so tough for you. Sorry this happened to you. I'm surprised a GP would prescribe one of those drugs off label. That's really an expert's job, imo.

I had a colleague who, upon overhearing my conversation with another colleague about our cats, loudly said ‘I hate cats’. For once, I had a good retort with ‘I hate people who hate cats.’ He was stunned and later apologized. But I still dislike him and hold a grudge. 😁

Someone who we no longer speak to and doesn't deserve her name spoken - so we started referring to her as Voldemort, which morphed into Mouldy Twat - which is her name now in all our phones.

Of course, she is unaware of this because we don't speak to her, but the whole family is on board and that's enough for me.

@JambalayaOrGumbo Could you possibly hint at what she did? Or something somewhat analogous?

A friend's neighbour honestly, if someone were to write down/record everything she did, it'd be like the anti-Bible, like, a model of how a person shouldn't be. Mainly just nasty and bullying, and sour. Her anti-example is changing my life.

NC.
I haven’t forgiven the GP, health visitor and hospital clinic who wouldn’t listen to me when I said I was noticing something wrong with my toddler. They treated me like I was a clueless first time mum fussing over a pfb. The test results weren’t normal but they said it was probably because dc had a cold and everything was fine. Years later and after a lot of struggling, dc was finally diagnosed with a significant physical disability. If the diagnosis had been earlier they could have been helped better, wouldn’t have gone through so much difficulty in the early school years and would likely not have some of the issues they have now.

The school had the cheek to insinuate I should have noticed the problem sooner. I do regret not being more persistent and feel very guilty.

I recently found out I am the subject of a grudge. I used to work in a pub. I refused to serve a man who was very rude to me. I don't think people ever said no to him. After that whenever he came in and saw me working he would walk out loudly telling everyone he can't get a drink because I refuse to serve him. I never refused after the first time, he never gave me the chance.

Many, many years later I was working somewhere else and training a new person. It turns out the man was his ex manager. When I explained how I knew him he said "your the bitch that wont serve him" The man is still talking about how I refuse to serve and I have not even worked there in over a decade.

A guy was once rude to me when I was trying to help him. I saw him sitting by the side of the road after a car accident and I said to myself “good!” (No injuries). His car was written off and when he got another one he used to drive slowly around the school and supermarkets car park with a sign in his back window saying that our local food bank was ripping everyone off and sending all the donations out of the area (they weren’t). He was a food bank client so I pegged him as an ungrateful bastard.
I saw him through a shop window a couple of days ago and muttered “cunt” under my breath.

One evening around 20 years ago I settled down on the sofa with a box set of Six Feet Under. It was my favourite show in the world at the time but I was a late convert and had just started watching the last season. My housemate arrived home as I was halfway through the opening episode. He had already watched the entire season and casually remarked “oh has (major character) died yet?”. To this day I can still physically feel the bile and rage I felt towards him for spoiling my enjoyment of that last season😭

The depths of my grudge knew no bounds and defied all logic. He came from a region in Europe that is famous for a particular type of cheese and for years I refused to buy it even though I actually liked the brand.

My local library accused me of stealing a children’s book because the librarian hadn’t scanned it properly and the alarm went off as I left. She insisted on checking under my buggy -whilst a large queue built up behind me and declaring in a loud patronising manner that “these books are for everyone”. She was well known and a nightmare when you wanted to borrow a dvd and didn’t have the right change. Haven’t set foot in my local library in years but have spent a small fortune in the very nice local bookshop 😊

This is outing but I don't care. In 2017 my boss discouraged me from applying for flexible working (I wanted to do term-time) as she assured me that they couldn't support that. Fast forward 3 years and " retired and returned" to work 39 weeks a year, yes I am bitter.

I have, and forever will, hold a grudge against my in laws.

They ruined my wedding with unprovoked abusive, nasty behavior towards me. Never apologised as think they're right all the time. This was the beginning of 25 years of poor treatment from them. I see them only when absolutely necessary and still loathe that I have to smile for my DC's sake. SIL thinks we're friends (but also doesn't realise DH hates her too & her DH has left her once already).

I still hold a grudge against DH for never defending me until he had no choice but to see it. He was well trained by MIL.

Had I known earlier what they were like I would have run.

Still despise my abusive ex even though we broke up 8 years ago.

Strangely, like many on this post, I hold the deepest grudges for things like queue jumping and rudeness. I’ve had so much worse done to me over time but somehow found forgiveness, or at least am at peace with it. But the woman who stole my machine at the gym (I’d just knocked my bottle of water off and picked it up, nearly sat on her when I went to sit back down) will have a grudge against her for life. And the guy (stranger) who shouted at my dd when she was one at a kids birthday party. And the person who elbowed me in the street and didn’t say sorry.

I know they say don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t let five minutes of someone’s behavior ruin your whole day etc. but I find if someone does something really terrible, like betrayal of a close friend or relative that should cut deep, I can actually be quite cool and calm about it. So this hatred for random strangers is working out quite well.

I won't set foot in Lush for a lack of support show to British farmers years ago

I don't think it's my kind of shop anyway the smell is too overpowering but I tell everyone I'm shopping with why I won't go in

The multiplhealth professionals who told me my newborn crying and screaming from pain the whole day every day for 5 months and not feeing well is just him being 'colic'. He had a severe daity allergy.

Supervisor in my first big job who crushed off my comments about some of the clients we had being racist to me (nooooo, you think so???). Their behaviour went unchallenged. It affected my self-esteem for years.

Mitsubishi. Sent there by my boss to look at buying three 4x4 for our fleet (so a big order). Had list of the spec we required. Went into the showroom, spent ages being ignored, probably due to being young (at the time - this was over 20 years ago) female, and casually dressed. Finally got someone’s attention and started explaining what I was looking for. He cut me off with “These cars are very expensive, and I don’t think you can afford them so why don’t you run along and stop wasting my time?” I went to Honda, who were lovely, and we ended up ordering the cars from there.

Christian Dior make up counter. As a student I wanted for a foundation match prior to making a purchase. The orangutan hued assistant looked me up and down pithily shook head and said You?I don’t think so

I was mortified, really humiliated. It was a big deal making such a ££ purchase as a student. I’d read all the reviews about being super foundation and lit from within etc

i sobbed my way over to Mac who treated me really well

Local autocentre, visited them to have a tyre replaced and waited patiently for over 90 minutes just like all the customers ahead of me. Just as my car was about to go on the ramp, an older man came in with his flash car and asked for four new tyres to be fitted. My car was taken off the ramp so that his vehicle could be fitted with tyres first. I asked for my keys back, explained why and took my car elsewhere. I was so aggrieved that I sent an email to the area manager and was far from impressed by the reply. I and have never been back and it’s been at least 10 years (and I still bad mouth them to this day)!

Blimey,sorry to read those events, that’s awful
Its crushing to be minimised when you know you’re right

I'd gone back to work at an independent fashion shop, I was nervous and new. On that day i was working with Julie who'd been there for years

In comes a couple demanding money back for a v expensive outfit she's obviously worn. I had to stand my ground and not give in to their bullying, I tried to catch Julie's eye, would she come and help me, like hell she would. It was a horrible experience for someone new in the job, I was nearly in tears after and she said "you didn't handle that very well"

I shout BITCH or COW every time I drive by her house. It was 20 years ago 😮

Mil for sitting at the end of the bed watching whilst I gave birth. My husband was beside me trying to keep me calm, doing a perfectly good job without her.
I will NEVER forgive her for that. Giving birth is meant to be a special time with just the parents. When I told him I wasn’t happy he said he wanted her there !!!! Bloody spineless wet drip 😡