For those with young children who are working full time, how tired are you?

[quirkyquerty]

I'm a teacher, I live with dh and 5yo and 3yo dc. We see family every 2-3 weeks, but we live a 2 hour drive from them.

I am so tired so often, I'd quite like to know if it is comparable to other people in a similar situation or whether I ought to book in at the doctors. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting their time.

I wake up tired, but am woken 4-5 times a night usually by DC bed swapping, asking me to go in with them, squeezing into our bed, asking for water etc. Both have always been terrible sleepers.

I wake up at 5.30 most days with my youngest, I work full time, get home do tea, and DH does bed for the kids whilst I tidy and sort lunches for the next day etc.

I will always fall asleep on the sofa, often by 8-9pm. I feel like I'm seeing less and less of my husband as I just can't keep my eyes open. I can't remember being this tired before, but then I only began full time work agains since DC in sept. I could happily go to bed with them at 7pm and fall asleep instantly.

I fall asleep on trains, in the car when dh is driving, in the cinema, even felt myself nodding off at a nail appointment last week.

Is anyone else feeling this way or should I be concerned it's something more?

Thanks for reading

I was completely shattered at that age…when DS1 was 5 I hadn’t had a full nights sleep since he’d been born. They’re 10 and 7 now and I’m immeasurably less tired.

Extremely tired

1yo and 3yo, woken once a night here but I was debating posting the same thing. Should I be this tired!
No advice, but solidarity!

Exhausted - and mine are good sleepers

i went to the dr about it, she wouldn’t even run a blood test as ‘you have 2 kids, you’re working, of course you’re tired!‘

I felt like a right idiot 😀

I sometimes worry that it's a sign of something really worrying- but then it's probably just waking up early and being busy all day isn't it?

I sometimes wonder if I was ina. Different job whether I'd be less tired, too. I love teaching but there's never really a moment to 'switch off' in the day

I do full time hours compressed into 4 days. The only way I cope is having DC who luckily mostly sleep through the night and to a reasonable hour of the morning. I literally don’t know how you cope being woken that much and starting the day at 5:30. Your tiredness sounds reasonable given your situation.

Beyond exhausted!

I was discussing with DH the other morning, when I'm so tired I crave a sweet coffee and sweet things, grabbing quick easy (unhealthy lunches) as so tired, too many takeaways when boys are in bed as too tired to cook. That's probably all v unhelpful too

I feel the same, mine rarely both sleep through but even if they do I think I’ve been ‘reverse sleep trained’ by them and wake lots anyway. Life just feels like a treadmill sometimes and I often go to bed before 9 and fall asleep instantly. I think it’s pretty understandable
to feel like this though.

Only have 1 3 year old but not me and DH work 40+ hours a week and yes I'm tired, most days! The thought of a quiet house and afternoon nap is my perfect day

I do take medication that makes me tired though, but I just think we are setting a good example for our DD that you have to work for something if you want it.

Dd5 and ds1, husband and I have full time jobs, no grandparents (all passed away or live six hours drive). Words cannot express how tired I am. I’m also just tired of saying I’m tired.

Shattered here too!

I have a 1 year old, work full time & 6 months pregnant + trying to find somewhere bigger to live!

We're currently going through a very clingy phase with our DC.

Feel it for you!

I was pretty tired when our kids weren't sleeping through and doing the 5am thing.

I realise it's not for everyone but I really recommend looking at ways to combat the sleep issue.

My 3 year old was of the messing around, bed hopping type and we have now fixed that basically by just being really firm that we weren't doing cosleeping/messing about any more. It was a painful week, I won't lie but we got there. And the gro clock has eventually got us to 6:15/30ish.

Toniebox/yoto player has really helped.

Fucking exhausted 😂 5 and 3 here too.

Mine seem to keep opposite ends of the clock. One is a night owl the other is up at 5am.

Theres also the mental tiredness. Getting ready for school/nursery feels like a 2 hour saga in which I repeat myself 27 times for each task!

But I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, they are slowly gaining independence.

Pretty tired - I have a nearly 3 year old and a nearly 1 year old.

If I were you I wouldn't be driving two hours to see family every couple of weeks. That must be tiring as well!

I was very, extremely, tired when mine were that aged. They are 9 and 6 now, mostly sleep through and it is so much better. I used to crave work travel for uninterrupted sleep.

Mine were both awful sleepers as well. I did go to the doctor and had low ferritin and Vit D but it was the sleep really. I get 7-8 hours most nights now and it's great. Being a teacher must be super tough though because you can't even have a slow day.

How do you feel during school holidays? I’m also a teacher and felt like this after my third child. I was at the doctors for something else but mentioned that I felt so tired all the time. She ran blood tests and I actually had a problem with my thyroid. I was prescribed medication and felt much better quite quickly!

It's worth getting a Dr's appointment just for a check anyway as what you describe does borderline on fatigue rather then just tiredness.

Can family drive to you instead? Do you catch up on sleep at the weekend so hubby take both kids out for a bit and vice versa?

I have 2 young children and have fatigue (90% recovered from long covid) but know when I have overdone it as I will sleep from 6pm and wake up with headaches. My DH has taken a lot on so I get decent rest as it can quickly spiral if not managed properly.

The multiple night waking will be exacerbating it. Could you plump for a sleep training person to come in?

Or take shifts so you get every other night full sleep

I'm exhausted too OP, 11yo, 2yo and a puppy. Whatever made me think that was a good idea

Mine are older now but i absolutely recognise everything you're saying. I got to proper burnout stage.

We do not travel (similar distance) to see family outside of Xmas & summer hols.
We keep weekends simple - kids sports etc, local walks, resting.

When the youngest was 2-4 I went part time (0.8) which I thoroughly recommend.

Put your letter in next week. Request 0.8 over 4 days or FT (although be ready to take some time off if needed). Rein in the family visits for a couple of years.

Even better if you can ring fence yourself some time to do something by yourself away from work & family for a couple of hours each week. Gym, run, volunteer somewhere. Anything as long as you can't worry/think about your responsibilities!

And do anything you can to get better sleep. Though this is nigh on impossible when your kids are so small.

It does get easier. Keep going.

Oh, for the waking for water, get the kids anti spill cups/bottles to have in bed with them. There used to be those tommee tippee sippy cups, we've got the camelbak bottles with the flip up bite straw thing. One less thing for them to wake you for.

Have a 7 year old who seems to need lot of attention. Work full time: 3
from home, and 2 days are a 4 hour round trip to work: so out the house for about 13 hours. Also suffer from migraines: at least one a week.

have a husband who does more than his fair share. Have a cleaner too. Still bloody exhausted.

@AgingLikeAFineJacobsCreek haha yes I feel the same way, I repeat how tired I am about 50 times a day

I fall asleep at 9pm next to my eldest at least a couple of times a week and I'm WFH 3 times a week and get 7 hours uninterrupted sleep most nights. I'd say what you are experiencing is very normal but no harm getting bloods done if you are concerned.