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Original poster

For those with young children who are working full time, how tired are you?

105 replies

quirkyquerty · 13/04/2023 18:31

I'm a teacher, I live with dh and 5yo and 3yo dc. We see family every 2-3 weeks, but we live a 2 hour drive from them.

I am so tired so often, I'd quite like to know if it is comparable to other people in a similar situation or whether I ought to book in at the doctors. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting their time.

I wake up tired, but am woken 4-5 times a night usually by DC bed swapping, asking me to go in with them, squeezing into our bed, asking for water etc. Both have always been terrible sleepers.

I wake up at 5.30 most days with my youngest, I work full time, get home do tea, and DH does bed for the kids whilst I tidy and sort lunches for the next day etc.

I will always fall asleep on the sofa, often by 8-9pm. I feel like I'm seeing less and less of my husband as I just can't keep my eyes open. I can't remember being this tired before, but then I only began full time work agains since DC in sept. I could happily go to bed with them at 7pm and fall asleep instantly.

I fall asleep on trains, in the car when dh is driving, in the cinema, even felt myself nodding off at a nail appointment last week.

Is anyone else feeling this way or should I be concerned it's something more?

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
inshitsville · 13/04/2023 20:06

Photosymphysis · 13/04/2023 19:17

You poor lot. You have my sympathy. My youngest is now 7 and now I can look back on that time, and look at you all and wonder how I did it (and how you are all doing it now).

The amount of paid work + domestic work (even if you've got a better than average OH) + childcare you're doing on completely inadequate sleep is just bonkers.

I remember when the Holy Grail was to get 4 hours of sleep in a row.

Women with young children really should be celebrated more. We're just expected to get on with it. And are made to feel like we're lacking if we, completely reasonably, start to fray when we're doing 3 jobs on several years of sleep deprivation.

Like everything, this will also pass.
It took mine till they were 3+ to sleep through reliably. And then I'd developed a weird hypervigilence and had to relearn proper sleeping myself!

Please, all of you, give yourselves whatever breaks you can. Please don't punish your bodies with diets/punishing exercise. Please do whatever you can to nourish and build your body & mind. When you're sleep deprived you do crave carbs. It's only for a few more months. It'll pass. And you can get your sleep and healthier eating back then. Survive for now.

And yes, going to bed at 8:30/9pm is the new rock & roll. Embrace it!

Thank you. This is what I needed to read right now.

Solidarity to you all!!! Flowers

RosesofAmsterdam · 13/04/2023 20:08

Fucking knackered. HTH.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/04/2023 20:13

thispostisaboutyou · 13/04/2023 20:02

Omg jealous 😂My 26 month old only manages that sometimes

Show quote history

I keep waiting for this 4 month sleep regression I keep hearing about. I'm hoping he magically skips it. 😂

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds 5 year olds Families
bookish83 · 13/04/2023 20:16

I would be incredibly tired doing what you are doing. Teacher, full time, 2 under 5, poor sleep.... you have more on than most I know.

you may be run down, low energy due to diet etc, mental load...the list goes on.

I think if you were able to manage less hours at work or do shifts at night so you each get undisturbed sleep you may feel differently.

You could also have low iron/thyroid etc and not know. But your day is exhausting! I'm tired and I have half the pressures you have

moleeye · 13/04/2023 20:16

So. Very. Tired

8 and 4 year old, youngest only just started sleeping through 10 nights ago. Even then it's not every night and he starts the day between 5-530

I am a dried shrivelled husk.

I'm hoping that it continues and by the time he starts school in September he'll be sleeping through every night!

Dibbydoos · 13/04/2023 20:23

You sound very busy and disturbed sleep ion top made me feel exhausted. Your DH needs to do more tomanage the night tkme disturbances too and you shouldnt give in to these demands to sleep with your kids either.

I'd suggest trying some vitamin D and using sleep spray (natural essential oils) on a tissue inside the kids pillow case. My kids slept through when I did this. It made a huge difference.

Good luck OP. X

Whattheflipflap · 13/04/2023 20:25

So tired I actually think I might die.

MrsHsGirl · 13/04/2023 20:27

It does sound like you've plenty of reason to be tired, but it wouldn't hurt to see if the GP would check your bloods. I had mine done recently (not due to tiredness) and it turned out I was deficient in iron, calcium, folic acid, vitamin Dand b12. The GP's words were 'wow, aren't you tired!' I said well yes I am but I have a toddler, every mum I know is tired 😂 I feel like a different person now that I've taken stuff to bring all of the levels back up

hoppyeaster · 13/04/2023 21:44

My 1 year old still wakes up 3-4 times a night and I work 40 hours a week over 4 days. I feel like crying by the end of my fourth day I'm that exhausted. It's nice to know I'm not the only one!

lotteloo · 13/04/2023 21:46

I only have one DC he's 15 months old... not a bad sleeper recently. I'm not even back at work yet and im absolutely shattered every day.
Do you take vitamins ? That may help. Most people in the UK are vitamin D deficient .

SpringIntoChaos · 13/04/2023 22:11

Year 2 teacher here...absolutely fucking knackered!!

AuntMarch · 13/04/2023 22:13

The last two weeks before term ended I was falling asleep while trying to persuade my 3 year old to, if that is any indication

Briallen · 13/04/2023 22:17

OP you’re a full time teacher of 2 small kids who don’t sleep. You’re incredible just for getting through each day. It sounds beyond knackering. I don’t think there’s any harm in getting bloods checked incase you have low iron or something. But I do think your life sounds exhausting

MsFrog · 13/04/2023 22:19

Exhausted. Kids 2 and nearly 5, older one terrible sleeper til 4.5, younger one still up a lot. I'm in bed by 9.30 every night. I went to GP because I was so tired and kept getting every bug going. All bloods done, nothing wrong. The GP said you can't underestimate the impact years of sleep deprivation have on your body.

Cece92 · 13/04/2023 22:27

I don't know how you manage a teacher and 2 young kids. I'm a lone parent working full time with DD9. I've been like the walking dead this week. My DD is a great sleeper. The last 2 mornings I've been in office so she's had to get dropped off before I head to office. She was r happy. She gets into the habit of going to bed sleeping late and wakening up late which is fine if I'm wfh. However this week has been a killer for me. My brain feels tired, my eyes are sore my bodies sore. Roll in 6pm tomorrow xx

shivawn · 13/04/2023 22:32

Well I'm permanently very tired and low energy. Not as tired as you because I don't nod off in public but I only have one child and only work 30 hours a week. I also have a bad sleeper and I think it's the night wakeups that cause the constant tiredness. The most I get is a 4-5 hour block of sleep in one go (that's only if I go to bed by 9pm) and once I've been woken it usually takes an hour for me to fall back to sleep again.

Eatentoomanyroses · 13/04/2023 22:49

I am actually of the opinion you can’t be a full time teacher with small children of your own and something not give. I tried to do it and made myself ill.

orangevelvetshoes · 13/04/2023 22:55

Do you not find the holiday help you recuperate? I worked in a finance job with minimum days holidays and no sick leave on a 2 hour commute when I had little dc and regularly worked into the early hours only to be on the train early the next morning, I'd have given anything for some time off that didn't involve a baby being too ill for childcare!!

Not judging genuinely thinking surely something must be wrong as I was soooo tired but I feel like I only got 28 days off most of which were spent with sick dc and I daren't ever take sick leave as money was so tight as was during the last recession and jobs were scarce and companies were properly taking the piss!

Hope you feel less tired soon OP. Maybe spend the holidays working on yourself between terms?

SarahsApples · 13/04/2023 23:29

I was shattered and put it down to new born baby / sleepless nights but something kept niggling at me as I was just EXHAUSTED all the time - went to the docs, really pushed them on how worried I was, they ran a thyroid blood test and where your normal levels should be between 0-9 mine was 364! Massively underactive thyroid, can often be brought on my child birth. I’m now on levothyroxine every day for life and after 6 months I am immeasurably more energised (obvs parenting still knackering!)

worth a look into your thyroid if you can, even if just to rule it out!

Starseeking · 14/04/2023 00:13

I'm up at 5.30am every day, leave for work at 7.30am, back at 6pm, and I go to bed around 11pm/midnight. I work full-time in a senior level job, and am a single parent to 2 primary school age DC under 7, 1 of whom has SEN (and who struggles with sleep).

Although I have a Nanny Housekeeper to run the DC around and sort the house, the mental load is still down to me, I am permanently exhausted, and can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.

Hopefully it gets better over time, and as the DC get older.

turtlemurtle1982 · 14/04/2023 12:02

I don't have small dc anymore. Having that amount of broken sleep will be the killer though.
I'd recommend sleep training during a school holiday to try and sort it. Is your dh as tired as you?

Isanyoneup · 14/04/2023 13:32

Exhausted but I also have fibromyalgia and severe B12 deficiency that I get injections for every 12 weeks.

WelcomeToMonkeyTown · 14/04/2023 13:54

5yo & 7yo

Both work FT, family in another country.

I'm so so tired. All the time. Also fall asleep in nail appointments 😂

I work over 4 days but I end up with so much other shit to do that I'm usually more tired on my "day off".

I recently went through a variety of tests with my dr (including seeing my gynaecologist about possible peri-menopause).

Dr said he's sorry, but this is just my life.

I'm hoping it will get better in a few years!

RobinHobb · 14/04/2023 18:14

5yo and 7yo. 5 days a week, commute of 80 minutes each way. DH at work all the time.

But both sleep through the night. Even then I am absolutely deathly tired, so so tired. Fell asleep in the cinema watching super Mario bros movie yesterday. Was bliss.

Not sure how I'd do it on OPs levels of sleep deprivation. No wonder you're exhausted!!!

Coffeebeans24 · 06/02/2024 11:26

This thread made me feel emotional. I'm exhausted. To hear everyone feel the same way due to similar circumstances is so validating.

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