For those with young children who are working full time, how tired are you?

[quirkyquerty]

I'm a teacher, I live with dh and 5yo and 3yo dc. We see family every 2-3 weeks, but we live a 2 hour drive from them.

I am so tired so often, I'd quite like to know if it is comparable to other people in a similar situation or whether I ought to book in at the doctors. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting their time.

I wake up tired, but am woken 4-5 times a night usually by DC bed swapping, asking me to go in with them, squeezing into our bed, asking for water etc. Both have always been terrible sleepers.

I wake up at 5.30 most days with my youngest, I work full time, get home do tea, and DH does bed for the kids whilst I tidy and sort lunches for the next day etc.

I will always fall asleep on the sofa, often by 8-9pm. I feel like I'm seeing less and less of my husband as I just can't keep my eyes open. I can't remember being this tired before, but then I only began full time work agains since DC in sept. I could happily go to bed with them at 7pm and fall asleep instantly.

I fall asleep on trains, in the car when dh is driving, in the cinema, even felt myself nodding off at a nail appointment last week.

Is anyone else feeling this way or should I be concerned it's something more?

Thanks for reading

I would get the blood test if you can at least then you know. I was tired but there was a period where I couldn't keep my eyes open like you and wanted to cry that I felt like that and was finding it so hard come evening. I found out I was very low in iron and vitamin d.

@euff that's the stage I'm at- it makes me upset that I'm this tired all the time, never get one on one time with DH, embarrassed that I'm always falling asleep, feel childish for wanting to go to bed at the same time as my three year old, and often have a cry in the evenings when I have work to do after kids in bed - pathetic feeling!

Also a teacher. Have a 5yo, 3yo, 1yo. So fucking exhausted I often feel like crying at the end of a work day. I am rarely awake past 9pm as I physically cannot keep my eyes open. Dreading next week tbh.

Are you all working full time because you have to financially? I can't comprehend putting myself through this otherwise!

I am the mother of a 16 month old and on the whole he is a good sleeper. I went back to work at the beginning of January on 4 day weeks until last week, when I went back to full time, and I am wiped, however I got a fairly serious strep throat infection which then went into my ear so at one point I was on 4 antibiotics. Once the infection had cleared, I went back to the doctor because I felt I couldn’t get back to anywhere close to my usual level of activity. She ran a full blood count, tested my thyroid, infection markers, glucose, etc etc and it all came back with low iron stores, and the GP putting it down to still getting over the infections. I still don’t feel back to full force but a lot better than that last visit to the GP.

I completely sympathise on the unfathomable tiredness you experience as a parent, however if you feel “off” I would encourage you to speak to a GP.

5 and 1 yr olds. Feel like a walking corpse most days. Maybe try and get a night away if you can! This really helps me now and then.

Another one saying get a blood test. Also I had a colleague constantly telling me how tired she was at work. Eventually found out she had glandular fever but had worked through it.

Not that tired but I don't wake up several times a night. I'd just go to bed straight after them if I were you and spend time with husband on a weekend.

I’m also a full time teacher/HOD and have dc 5 and 2. The 2yo is still bf and co-sleeps as she wakes up twice a night usually (sometimes more). I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since I was about 5 months pregnant in Oct 2020. I’m knackered (& look it!) but I don’t fall asleep in the car/out and about so you might want to get checked out. We also have low-key weekends and a few quiet days in holidays too to try and recover (& an untidy house & perpetually full washing basket!). I’d really love to drop 1-1.5 days but also want to move house so I’m stuck full time for now.

I'm working 4 days and still utterly shattered. All the time. Both of mine still wake - not every night, but enough that most nights at least one needs attention during the night. Plus DH is a shift worker and disturbs me coming in/out.

So so tired! all the time!

I also hVe the 5.30 wake. It's the relentlessness of it

Primary teacher here, work full time with a 4yo and almost 2yo. No chance of either of us going part time with current cost of living.

I am exhausted to the bone. 7.30-4.30 in school, then work most nights on the sofa but am at the point of the words on my laptop blurring by about 9.30ish.

Eldest has night terrors but DH deals with those. Youngest sleeps ok until about midnight, then wants to sleep directly on my head until morning, which doesn’t help.

I genuinely think a huge part of feeling so shattered is due to mental exhaustion from
teaching. When I had a period of time working out of class on return from mat leave I was nowhere near as tired, even with a still waking hourly baby.

I tell DH that one day I will be able to hold a conversation with him again. In about a decade.

Really normal to feel shattered, it get easier as they get older and sleep more

I am medium tired, DH is pretty tired and regularly naps in the afternoon. But my DC sleeps fine (asleep at 7:15, stays in her room until 7am, 4yo). Both WFH in non stressful jobs and don’t have the “on” time like you would in teaching. Parents look after DD 2-3 times a month but mostly to cover things like parents evening etc. This winter has been hard because the illness is really hitting all of us for the first time.

If you can do anything to sort out your kids waking you up all night that seems like the first place to start! I’d be non functional if mine behaved like that.

@Isthisexpected yes- couldn't afford our mortgage otherwise

1yo and 3yo. Constantly exhausted, craving sweet things so weight creeping up too. Bloods at doctors showed low iron and vit d3, meds for about a month and I feel marginally better ... but we co-sleep, and I feel so touched out having them in our bed I normally stay up till far too late to get some me/us time

Yeah this is pretty much how DH and I are. We've just accepted it as a temporary chapter in our lives that will change in a few years.

Don't most women actually need 8-10 hours sleep? In which case if you're up at 5:30pm it's very likely that your body is really wanting to be asleep between 7:30pm and 9:30pm.

Not massively but I only have a 4 month old and he sleeps 7-7. I'd get your bloods done.

I work 4 days a week, about 30h, the other day I have both kids (4&2) which is actually harder / more work than going to work.

I'm also pregnant with our third. Both my children sleep through the night (eldest comes into the bed every other night but just continues to sleep next to us) and they usually wake between 6&7.

I don't feel like you feel but if my children were up 5x in the night, I'd feel the same. That's just as bad as an on-going newborn stage.

@Sharkyto that's not good in my opinion. I felt very tired despite having an 8 month old and a 2 year old, turned out my ferritin was 7 which is extremely low which causes all sorts of symptoms including exhaustion.

Get your thyroid checked.

I always thought I was just “teacher tired” but I had a TSH of 21. Turns out that’s not normal 🫣

Now have a toddler and exhausted, but a more normal type of exhausted if that makes sense?

I only have 1 dd, she’s 5, I can’t for the life of me think how people with more kids cope. I work full time with a very early start so I can finish to pick dd up at 3.
I thought finishing work at 2:45 would be great but I’m good for absolutely nothing - I’m probably a little bit better in the summer though.
its exhausting hard and relentless.
im either at work or with dd. All my annual leave is used for the school hols.
we only have one set of grandparents to help out and they are great but they are in their mid 60s and I’m really mindful of putting on them.
I Have found life so hard since she started school in sept 2021. Nursery was a very expensive breeze.

Omg jealous 😂My 26 month old only manages that sometimes

So tired
lone parent to three young children under ten and I work f/t
feels like boot camp.

only the very good pay helps but doesn’t stop the grinding exhaustion