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Original poster

Do you ever get a strange feeling about someone ( or something?)

347 replies

Trixiefirecracker · 12/04/2023 22:11

I recently met someone, just a friend of a friend, and had a really visceral gut feeling about her and not in a good way. It made me feel so uncomfortable and I felt really awkward around her, like she might know what I was thinking. I have no idea why this happened and has never happened before, there was no obvious reason for it. She was perfect polite. However It felt like all the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and something about her really rattled me.Has anyone else ever had this experience and were they ‘right’ about their gut feeling?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 12/04/2023 22:16

You’ll get lots of replies about how people met Fred West down the corner shop and their hair immediately stood on end as a cold chill dropped down their spine, but realistically it’s unlikely. If it was so easy to sniff out bad people then there would never be a victim of crime because we’d all avoid them. It’s just that when someone turns out to be bad suddenly those around them cast their minds back and decide they ‘knew’ from the beginning. Like when you see a mugshot of a serial killer and someone goes ‘ooooh he LOOKS evil’ but if that same photo was shown and they said this is the hero who died saving babies from a house fire they’d say ‘aww poor man, what an angel.’

With this woman, it could have been anything. Maybe she was a bit socially odd and looked at you too long, or it was cold in there which made you uncomfortable. I read something once, a theory about how our discomfort when someone is acting in a socially inappropriate way could be linked to a primal instinct to avoid those who act in odd ways because they’re likely to be infected with some sort of rabid disease.

Kanaloa · 12/04/2023 22:17

Not that I’m saying this woman had rabies by the way. Just that someone who isn’t quite following social norms or is behaving just a bit ‘off’ can make us uncomfortable because it seems off. But in our evolved brains we know that actually they’re probably just quirky in some way.

MrsDoylesDoily · 12/04/2023 22:25

That's a really well written post @Kanaloa 👏

Original poster
Trixiefirecracker · 12/04/2023 22:40

But she didn’t look evil, quite the opposite nor was she acting in anyway strangely. Just a normal young women. I’ve never really felt a feeling like it before…

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 12/04/2023 22:43

Quite a few times. Mostly men.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/04/2023 22:45

I've got a friend who has a very steady and just slightly too long gaze. When I first met her I assumed she was going to be a total cow for some reason but shes utterly lovely.

Kanaloa · 12/04/2023 22:46

MrsDoylesDoily · 12/04/2023 22:25

That's a really well written post @Kanaloa 👏

Except the rabies detour 😂

If she didn’t look ‘evil’ (and what does ‘evil’ look like?) then your discomfort was probably based on something random. Maybe her eyes were a bit too wide or she didn’t blink enough and it set something off in you. Maybe she looked like the mum of your friend Julia from primary school who once told you off for breaking a cup. All sorts of weird reasons why someone could give you the creeps. Or maybe she was secretly ‘evil’ but I do think that’s markedly less likely.

lucya66 · 12/04/2023 22:46

Never had it but would trust it. I agree it’s an instinct and think it’s a survival tool.

humans are intelligent beings and sometimes we ignore our animal instinct for logic or social/cultural norms.

id be on guard until you work it out.
Let us know if you work it out!

Original poster
Trixiefirecracker · 12/04/2023 22:59

I think I’m possibly the least intuitive person I know do it was a bit of a shock but if I work out why she gives me a weird feeling I will definitely let you know!

OP posts:
TheVolturi · 12/04/2023 23:00

I have actually. My parents got a new neighbour a few years ago and although he was the perfect gent, friendly, kind, helpful and quite attractive, I had a bad feeling about him. He never stepped out of line at all. I found it so hard to speak to him. It turned out he was a paedophile.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 12/04/2023 23:07

I thought you meant things and places, not only people.

I have a feeling, I call it the back of the neck feeling, it is as if someone or something unpleasant is watching behind me. It can relate to quite unlikely things, inanimate objects as well as more major circumstances.

over the decades I have learnt never never to ignore it. My DH won’t ignore it either if I share it, because it means danger. Not necessarily physical, but emotional or moral.

Notsuretoputit · 12/04/2023 23:07

Read The Gift of Fear, OP. Fascinating book.

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/04/2023 23:43

Yes. Several times.
Twice pupils. Even at 11 there was something (they would never have known I felt bad about them)) One is serving life for murder and another many years for a machete attack.

My friend's dad when we were kids used to make my hair stand up. Many years later she confessed he abused her.

I get a feeling when I meet people and are rarely wrong.

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/04/2023 23:43

*am

bottleofbeer · 12/04/2023 23:45

I can give you the scientific explanation? It's actually real.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 12/04/2023 23:49

Yes a volunteer at a Christian camp I went to as a 10 year old. I felt immediate waves of nausea and unease as soon as they stepped on stage. They got done for molesting kids a few years later.

That's the only time though. Glad small me could tell something was seriously off as they were the life and soul of the children's entertainment team.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 12/04/2023 23:50

And I'll say I didn't get the same feeling about a teacher at my primary school who went to prison for images of CSA. I loved him. So clearly my intuition only applied to the first person.

Lilbunnyfufu · 12/04/2023 23:53

I meet a guy once who give me a strange feeling. I mentioned it to my friend who knew him and she said I was being silly he was a nice guy.
Well my feeling was right he was recently in the papers for murder

Dotcheck · 12/04/2023 23:54

Yes- I’ve had these feelings all my life. I’ve only just learned to listen to them- they are always right

lionsleepstonight · 12/04/2023 23:56

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/04/2023 22:45

I've got a friend who has a very steady and just slightly too long gaze. When I first met her I assumed she was going to be a total cow for some reason but shes utterly lovely.

You mean udderly lovely.

BrutusMcDogface · 13/04/2023 00:00

I had a horrible feeling about a room, once, and refused to go in there. From the reactions of others around me, I think something had happened in there, as they were very respectful and found me a different room.

bottleofbeer · 13/04/2023 00:02

There is a part of our brain that is sometimes known as the 'lizard brain'. It's the oldest neural pathway.

It was important when we needed to be aware of predators. It's the subconscious part of awareness. When something is 'wrong' about a person or situation, this part of the subconscious starts shouting at you. You sort of listen, in the sense that something is wrong and you're uncomfortable.

It's picking up on cues that your brain considers odd behaviour. Mostly very, very subtle things which is why your conscious self doesn't see it. Your subconscious is screaming at you which is why you feel odd but can't understand why or put your finger on it.

Trust it

Mammyloveswine · 13/04/2023 00:07

Funnily I had an uncomfortable feeling with someone today.. he was working at a farm
I took my children to and was only young (around 23-25 id guess). I asked him a few questions about the animals etc and he was so intense with the eye contact when he replied it made me so uncomfortable!

He was perfectly pleasant and the rest of his demeanour was fine, he was lovely with the kids but the intense eye contact made me blush! (And no, I doubt he fancied me as I'm an overweight, middle aged knackered mother of two 😂).

IHateLegDay · 13/04/2023 00:07

Yes. I went to an event with DH and some of our friends. One of them brought their friend along and I instantly disliked him before he even said a word. I just had this instant physical reaction to him.
I have Tourette's and had an unfortunate tic where I basically shouted "I already don't like you" before I'd even said hello 🤦‍♀️

Turns out all my instincts were right though. He was an utter shit and a few months after the event, he uploaded a shit ton of revenge porn of his girlfriend to multiple websites and got in serious trouble for it.

WildUnknown · 13/04/2023 00:13

Yes.

A woman struck me as oddly intense when we first met.

She later subjected me to months of bullying and low level nasty remarks over a misunderstanding of her own making which could have been clarified by a straightforward conversation. I didn't know what the problem was and it was a horrible time.

She had an ally in this, that I also instinctively felt off about

Due to an aspect of my former life and experiences, I have learnt that your gut and your basic instincts if you have a really strong feeling is something evolutionary and shouldn't be ignored.