Do you ever get a strange feeling about someone ( or something?)

[Trixiefirecracker]

I recently met someone, just a friend of a friend, and had a really visceral gut feeling about her and not in a good way. It made me feel so uncomfortable and I felt really awkward around her, like she might know what I was thinking. I have no idea why this happened and has never happened before, there was no obvious reason for it. She was perfect polite. However It felt like all the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and something about her really rattled me.Has anyone else ever had this experience and were they ‘right’ about their gut feeling?

Several years ago my MIL started raving about a couple she had met at church: how interesting they were, how good they were, the various fund raising activities they led.
The man was very keen to meet DH and MIL was keen that should happen, but we lived abroad at the time.
On a solo trip home, I did meet the couple and disliked them enormously, but couldn’t articulate why. But I discouraged DH from getting involved with them.

A few months later, the couple disappeared, along with the ticket money for a fund raiser they were organising . As it happened , at the time, I worked with Forensic Accountants. I guess my gut was telling me they were too good to be true.

You should read gavin de Becker, the gift of fear. Its excellent. It covers things like this, and why to trust your gut instinct.

Every woman should read it.

I work at a nursing home and we had a new nurse start last year who I had such a strong gut reaction to, it really took me by surprise. I could genuinely feel a bad, evil energy emitted off her. Couldn't stand to be anywhere near her. Luckily she didn't stay long for various reasons but I do wonder if I'll see her on the news one day.

Please elaborate

I used to all the time when I was a teen but never about the multitudes of people who took advantage of me as a vulnerable autistic teen with mental health issues, so either my gut is off or it's utter bullshit.

Yes I've had this twice and later been proven right, although it can take years for the truth about someone to show so it can be hard to trust your instincts for so long.

I've also had a similar feeling about an entirely boring 1970s house when viewing to buy. And that can't be put down to something slightly off with someone's behaviour.

Anyway it's a bit woo, doesn't happen often and I don't shout about it in real life, but I do now pay attention when this happens.

I have felt drawn to and also repelled by some people, obviously almost all people feel pretty neutral.

The most negative was when I was working in a day centre for people with complex MH issues. The service users were on the more serious end of illness. One gave me the most horrendous fear of another person I had ever felt. He had violently attacked many people and almost chopped off someone’s limb. I didn’t find out until after I had met him. There were many people there with a history of violence as well but I never felt scared of any of the others. He was not expected as had moved away but was in the area and called in.

I also worked alongside a psychologist who I would say was an angel put on earth. I suppose people may assume that given the nature of the job they are all lovely but I don’t think they all are at all.

Have also met someone who was convicted of killing his parents, he was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. You would never have known. I do find the term narcissist thrown around on this forum frustrating, what’s often being described is someone who really is nasty but true narcissism is quite rare. People do seem very keen on labelling others though.

This happened to me . Years ago my dc headteacher really disliked me. She kept referring to SS with no more than ‘theres something I can’t put my finger on’ and I did a full SAR which was full of info how she thought I acted ‘oddly’ And ‘differently’ and referring to SS just to ‘have it logged’ and then she decided I ‘fussed ‘ over my ds too much so she thought I had munchausens.

It was really clear that she had a really bad feeling about me ! None of it was true she was acting on intuition

Interesting thread.
My Mum lives in the Scottish Borders, where a man abducted a young girl recently and held her hostage (she was found thankfully).
The accused has (had) a butchers shop in Melrose. I asked my Mum if she'd ever been in there and she said once, about 15 years ago, and she had a very bad feeling about this man and never went in again.
My mum loves those type of local shops normally.

It’s worth googling confirmation bias.

I’ve had this a few times with people - and actually DID see Fred West once; he was having a loud conversation in the street with someone else and the raised voice was what made me look. I obviously couldn’t have had any idea who he was at the time but the face stuck in my mind and the odd energy which just made me want to get away from him (even though I was just a passer by, not the person to whom he was speaking). When the photos of him were published years later, it was quite a shock realising that was the person I’d seen all those years before.

We process a lot of information non-verbally and instinctively, so it feels like an idea has come out of nowhere about someone. If we were to analyse a video of the encounter frame by frame, I suspect there would be subtle ‘tells’ that we have picked up and reacted to. I’m usually rather gullible and assume people have no agenda (because I don’t) so the times I’ve had a really strong gut feeling stand out.

I’ve experienced this. It’s so hard to describe.

Yes as a child I would feel v uncomfortable going to my friends house because of her Father would always make excuses, it turned out he was abusing his daughters.

We had family friends throughout my childhood who I spent a lot of time with as they had a child the same age as me.

From about 6yo I really disliked the husband.

40 years later mum is still friends with the wife and it’s clear that he is incredibly controlling, particularly financially…

Just a shame I didn’t get the same 6th sense about my XH!

Yes I went to school with a guy who I really got a bad vibe from. He just always seemed very serious with a lack of emotion but I think others saw him as quiet/shy and he wasn't very popular, so I didn't say anything as I didn't want to be accused of bullying.

He turned out to be a peadophile.

I second the Gavin de Becker book, 'The Gift of Fear', it's excellent. There's a quote from it that stays with me: "Can you imagine an animal reacting to the gift of fear the way some people do, with annoyance and disdain instead of attention? No animal in the wild suddenly overcome with fear would spend any of its mental energy thinking, 'It's probably nothing'."

A week or so ago, we had an electrician in and his boss turned up to check on the job. I first saw him through the window and even from the back there was something off-putting about him, the swagger in his gait, the slouch of his shoulders. When he came indoors to speak to us I found him to be utterly repellent, but can't pin down why. There is more work to be done and I'm not looking forward to it.

I have feelings about things, people and places all the time but I’m not sure what’s what and rarely pay too much attention. I suspect a lot of my feelings are based on the instincts that @Kanaloa describes and aren’t a judge of character.

A close friend of our got divorced and met a new woman to whom we were introduced. My husband immediately felt uncomfortable around her and declared her to be “off”. I told him not to be so silly. He avoided her like the plague until our friend stopped seeing her.

6 months later, her 9yo son was removed from her, for serious abuse which included starvation and burning.

When I was little my nana’s friends son creeped me out, I would hide from him soon as I saw him, literally terrified.
Turns out he abused his sister, I found out years later.

Another time, my uncle tried setting up my mum with this guy, I was like nah this guy is not right. He was a wife beater!

I would always trust my gut.

What did they do?!

Wow! That’s very interesting that it can be the opposite of way round with a stranger.

Really interesting stories from everyone. Thank you. Now it’s happened to me I find it fascinating. I will look up Confirmation Bias and order the book a couple have suggested ‘gift of fear’. I think my paths will cross with this woman again because she is in my friends ‘circle’ so will see what happens but honestly am not looking forward to it. 🥺

Yes it’s happened to me twice. Once with a man and once with a woman. The woman was a beauty therapist who befriended my DM when she did her nails. There was just something so off about her and I got the feeling she could cause a lot of trouble for her. She had two teenaged daughters and used to talk horribly about them. She was also quite obsessive and would phone my mum a lot and randomly turn up at her house. I think in the end my Mum saw it and distance herself. I saw her in the gym a few years later and she would have definitely known who I was but looked right through me.

The man was someone I encountered through a hobby group and I had the most visceral reaction I’ve ever had. I can remember him looking over at me and shuddering down my spine. He just felt wrong despite being outwardly nice friendly and sociable. A while later it came out he’d been sending disgusting messages to a woman in the group, dick pics etc. It also turned out I wasn’t the only person who disliked him but no one felt they could say.

Murdered a child.

There's a really interesting interview with de Becker here. You may not like the interviewer but de Becker himself is fascinating. He talks about his extraordinary life, his work in security and about listening to your instincts.