Page 12 | Can you get universal credit for being a SAHM if husband works f/t?

faultywiring · 2023-04-11T11:25:59+00:00

I am a SAHM and dh works full time, only min wage but he does about 50 hours. Would I be able to get Universal credit and stay at home dc are 5 and 7 both at school. I don't want job seekers as I'm not looking for jobs but just wondering if UC was an option or if I'd be expected to look for work?

Snaaaaacks · 11/04/2023 16:05

icanneverthinkofnc · 11/04/2023 15:50

My kids are grown up, so I don't have this now, but when mine were young, only well-paid jobs could afford childcare. Most low income families I knew had an SAHM and benefit top ups because there wasn't childcare support anyway unless grandparents, etc, could take the children. I knew one woman at the parent/ toddler/ playgroup who had a job and sent her child to montessori.

Obviously, things have changed, and it struck me that if OP gets a job, great, but she will need childcare. Childcare has to be paid for. So is it going to be the government paying for childcare anyway. Is there a clear net gain for families? Or is it the long term gains from continuing a career and viewing past the child years?

Pride doesn't pay bills, hard cash does that, so are families better off with both parents working these days? Genuinely interested. I really regret not pursuing a career for precisely these reasons.

If you give up work until your children are 12/13 ish, have 2 children a couple of years apart that's 15 years out the workforce. 15 years not keeping up your practice/professional development, in that time industries can completely change. You return from 15 years away and you are starting back at the bottom (if you can get back in) and have 15 years missing from your pension contributions. Once children reach school age childcare costs drop massively, continuing to work those 15 years you might be forking out on childcare but you are continuing to progress your career, you aren't left behind, in fact you'll be working your way up. You'll have 15 years in your pension pot and once childcare costs stop you'll reap the rewards as you haven't sacrificed your career to have kids.

Jonei · 11/04/2023 16:06

MrsSamR · 11/04/2023 15:35

So are you suggesting that every single mother in the UK gives up work to raise their children and relies on benefits paid for by all men and childless women? That is new levels of insane!

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It certainly seems to be an option. Maybe I'll just give up work and let other people pay for me and my kids.

LakieLady · 11/04/2023 16:06

CornishTiger · 11/04/2023 14:16

Why don’t you qualify for UC? As partner is pension age you are what’s known as a mixed age couple. Although his pension is classed as income.

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I'm guessing because the state pension at £185-something a week is more than the standard allowance for a couple of £500+ pcm, so unless there are housing costs, there's a nil entitlement.

Hellybelly84 · 11/04/2023 16:08

Weefreetiffany · 11/04/2023 15:31

@IamKlaus except all the working class women I knew of my grans generation gave up work when they started a family so they could wife and mother. Only the most dire straights meant taking in sewing etc. so no, the way modern society works for ABCDE jobs post ww2 is very much based on that 40 hour working week. Mileage may vary though, for example if your family ran a business like a shop or pub etc. and in former third world countries where they are “catching up” with our society, both parents working in a medical field for example can afford a housekeeper/cook/childminder to be that stable home life provider, or rely on their mums who want their girls to have career options and do the unpaid labour of home. The labour doesn’t go away we just reshuffle it and shame women who choose it rather than their own 40 hour work week and then do it on top.

It’s gross to suggest being a stay at home parent means sitting on your arse, or wanting to do so. And why should women be expected to work their fingers to the bone to justify a choice that improves their family’s quality of life? Spending power isn’t everything, as long as bills are covered etc.

so many people on here speak like they’re proud to work all hours at their bosses beck and call and see their kids 45 minutes a day, and think that’s a brilliant family set up and personal moral triumph. SMH. Personally I’m happy to pay tax to let the next generation of kids have access to a full time parent. But women who want to work and misogynists are lining up to shit on SAHP to justify their own choices. Crabs in a Thatcherite barrel.

Except she’s not really a ‘stay at home parent’ as the kids are school age. I cant think of a single Mum I know with kids age 5 and 7 who solely stays at home without at least a part time job, studying etc. The kids are at school every single day. No one is telling her to work every hour under the sun, in fact its absolutely fine if she wants to stay at home day in day out if they can afford it. You just cant expect the rest of society to pay for it.

I loved being a stay at home Mum in the early years, it was amazing. I also love my day off in the week now too. Would I want to stay home every single day when my kids are at school…absolutely not. I want to use my brain, earn for our family and have a career to progress in when the kids are older. I suspect she would be the odd one out of her Mum friends not to be working.

Slitheringheights · 11/04/2023 16:08

I went back to work when mines where 5 and 7. My partner worked away a lot so it was easier for me to stay at home. He was earning about 45k. I got a part time job 9-3 Monday till Thursday. Min wage. Been there ever since. Five years on. Holidays are difficult but the company is good with families. There is no reason why you can’t go to work part time.

Meezer2 · 11/04/2023 16:08

It's your partner I feel sorry for slogging away while your a 'sit on your arse' parent of two school age children.

Slitheringheights · 11/04/2023 16:09

I understand it isn’t easy to get school hours, but there is weekend work and cleaning evening jobs, which I done as well.

CallintheClownies · 11/04/2023 16:09

Weefreetiffany · 11/04/2023 15:56

Clown, You’re only respecting the choice if they make the choice you want, ie to work and do the rest all the unpaid caring and maintaining on top, unacknowledged. If a woman or man chooses to just do the caring and maintenance while the other person in the partnership/family unit works, you don’t respect that choice. Ergo you don’t respect the choices offered. And no I don’t want to go back to the 50s, I want things to be easier for women, thriving not just surviving, as I saw so many of the women of my mums generation work themselves to death trying to do it all.

Also what educated person doesn’t understand the concept of crabs in a barrel or how Thatcherite individualism has erased community and family in the U.K.? Again telling women to stop talking because you don’t understand what they’re saying and like the status quo where we are mules who don’t complain or question I would guess, based on your rather high handed comments.

You can stop patronising me for a start. I'm a degree-educated professional who's worked for 45 years out of choice, some of it p/t while raising 3 kids.

Just because someone dares call you on your ideas, it doesn't mean they don't understand what you are saying. Although I'm not sure 'crabs in a barrel' is common parlance when discussing Thatcherism.

Poor you- that chip on your shoulder and blaming a government that hasn't existed for decades must be wearing you down.

No one's telling women to stop talking, I'm only suggesting you stop talking rubbish.

CallintheClownies · 11/04/2023 16:12

so many people on here speak like they’re proud to work all hours at their bosses beck and call and see their kids 45 minutes a day, and think that’s a brilliant family set up and personal moral triumph.

Not one person here has said that.

You really do have a comprehension issue and a completely biased opinion removed from reality.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 11/04/2023 16:12

We have 2 dc (10&2)

We both work, DH full time and me 3 days. I have dc2 at home the other 2 days.

We have no family support whatsoever to help with childcare, it's on us and we knew that before we had children.

We just have to juggle. Im lucky I'm in a school so term time only but it doesn't account for illness, insets and strikes.

We've had time off recently for chicken pox and strep A when nursery closed to deep clean

We just juggle like others have to.

RudsyFarmer · 11/04/2023 16:14

faultywiring · 11/04/2023 13:03

How do you think the majority of families in this country with 2 working parents manage?

I have no idea, how does everyone do it? It seems impossible.

Have you considered working a term time job like a school? Even if it was just a lunch time each day you’d be earning some money.

CheeseLouisePlease · 11/04/2023 16:14

Have you thought of being a dinner lady or work in a school kitchen.

I did recruitment for schools and we had a variety of hours for the kitchen work, some staff started very early and some after 9. Everyone was usually gone by 2pm.
Id just make sure you go to a school in the same LA so the holidays match up.

It’s a good option as your children get older you can think of getting another role in school with more hours, whilst retaining the holidays.

Weefreetiffany · 11/04/2023 16:16

Only on mumsnet to people get off on personal attacks and act like it reflects well on them. Some people would rather pull everyone down into a shitty situation than see anyone have an easier time or escape it. If not me than not them either. Society is worse for it, but hey at least she’s not the odd one out in her friend group. That would be really awkward.

Tessabelle74 · 11/04/2023 16:20

If you can't afford to have one wage earner, then why should the tax payer support you? We'd ALL like to just sit at home but that's not how it works. Either your husband needs a better paid job or you get yourself to work

icanneverthinkofnc · 11/04/2023 16:21

Snaaaaacks · 11/04/2023 16:05

If you give up work until your children are 12/13 ish, have 2 children a couple of years apart that's 15 years out the workforce. 15 years not keeping up your practice/professional development, in that time industries can completely change. You return from 15 years away and you are starting back at the bottom (if you can get back in) and have 15 years missing from your pension contributions. Once children reach school age childcare costs drop massively, continuing to work those 15 years you might be forking out on childcare but you are continuing to progress your career, you aren't left behind, in fact you'll be working your way up. You'll have 15 years in your pension pot and once childcare costs stop you'll reap the rewards as you haven't sacrificed your career to have kids.

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Thanks..it makes sense in that respect, particularly if the SAHP has the opportunity for progression. I'm not sure how that pans out for someone only ever likely to earn NMW.

I and the other mums at that time would have been limited to very low pay (local shop, etc) no additional pension provision at that time( late 80s). It was certainly nothing professional and unlikely to ever be.
I re-entered the workplace once my youngest was a teenager. I worked up to retail manager but found that actually financially, it only had marginal benefits over staying on the bottom rung. and loads of political, corporate bullshit

Mariposista · 11/04/2023 16:22

I hope this is a wind up.
Be an adult, get off your arse and get a job.

Hellybelly84 · 11/04/2023 16:25

Weefreetiffany · 11/04/2023 16:16

Only on mumsnet to people get off on personal attacks and act like it reflects well on them. Some people would rather pull everyone down into a shitty situation than see anyone have an easier time or escape it. If not me than not them either. Society is worse for it, but hey at least she’s not the odd one out in her friend group. That would be really awkward.

No one is attacking anyone.

If they earn enough for her to stay at home (if thats what she wants to do), then brilliant.

Coming on here and asking for the taxpayer (and the majority of hard working families) to fund her lifestyle is another matter.

It seems that the OP also doesn’t think she can find a job to fit around school holidays, DH working long hours etc etc, but you absolutely can. I do and have 2 super happy children who love going to holiday clubs aswell as love time at home in the holidays too. Plenty of great suggestions on here of jobs to fit in with school hours.

Itsaboutdamntime899 · 11/04/2023 16:27

faultywiring · 11/04/2023 12:58

We do manage fine with dh earnings. I just wasn't sure if there was something I could have been claiming and wasn't.
We do get child benefit.
It's the logistics of it all, my parents are nearly 80 and have health issues so are not able to look after the dc and dh family live hours away.
The dc never seem to be in school.
6 weeks off in the summer holidays
Half terms
End of terms
Easter hols
Xmas hols
Inset days
Days sick
And lately Strikes
It's easy to say the dc are at school but they never seem to be and any jobs I have had in the past have ended because I can't get child care, especially for flexible work which is the field I work.
I don't know any Childminders who will just have dc as and when you need them.

You could work weekend night shifts.

AlltheFs · 11/04/2023 16:27

I’ve heard it all now. I hope this is a wind up @faultywiring
Get a bloody job and set a good example to
your children. There’s no excuse for not working at least part time around children of school age unless they have significant additional needs. In the holidays you use annual leave and pay for childcare like everyone else does.

Or don’t, and live off a low income but don’t expect everyone else to bloody fund your choices.

ifonly4 · 11/04/2023 16:28

Not sure why you think it's appropriate to ask for benefits so you can stay at home. I get childcare isn't easy - for that reason I worked at the local school as an MDS - hourly rate isn't massive, but it still brings in extra money and you can get time off if DC are ill (admittedly unpaid) but good to have that option. I then went onto find a job that was for one evening and every Sunday, when DH was able to do childcare.

Hoppingmad231 · 11/04/2023 16:29

So you want us the tax payer to top up your income so you don't have to work?

Notthissongagainffs · 11/04/2023 16:35

@Skybluepinky Why wouldn’t she? 😂I’d love to, it’s the dream

IneptDestructive · 11/04/2023 16:39

If you haven't already got a degree though, now would be a great time. Lectures are term times only, the kids will be older when you're finished and it changes your job prospects- especially compared to just years out of the work environment. Student finance isn't much, but as you say you're managing on dh's income anyway, that would seem sensible if you don't have a degree yet.

MrsPerfect12 · 11/04/2023 16:42

People are crying out for childminders - why not set that up as business and earn money whilst being able to drop and collect your own children from school..... waits for the excuses

DrPrunesquallor · 11/04/2023 16:49

CheeseLouisePlease · 11/04/2023 16:14

Have you thought of being a dinner lady or work in a school kitchen.

I did recruitment for schools and we had a variety of hours for the kitchen work, some staff started very early and some after 9. Everyone was usually gone by 2pm.
Id just make sure you go to a school in the same LA so the holidays match up.

It’s a good option as your children get older you can think of getting another role in school with more hours, whilst retaining the holidays.

You didn’t work for a nursery in Kent ish area did you.
Your user name is a classic saying used by the kids at our local nursery.
I still use ‘the saying’ when my ds puts loads of cheese on his food.😀

Can you get universal credit for being a SAHM if husband works f/t?

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