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Original poster

How to withdraw holiday ‘invite

108 replies

SnowfallSnowball · 11/04/2023 11:40

Hello all

I have a bit of a dilemma and hoping to ask for advice. Apologies for the length. I have a friend who I’ve known for several years, we get on really well, meet up for lunch/dinners etc, well you get the idea - friends!

Anyway we have been away twice, once was a weekend European city break and the other a UK city break. After both occasions I said to myself ‘I’m not doing that again!’ for various reasons.

I met up with her recently and we were talking about holidays and she asked where I’m planning to go for Christmas (I always plan my holidays well in advance!) and I told her and she was really in awe, through my excitement (stupidity!) I said ‘do you wanna come?’ and she said ‘yes, absolutely’. I talked about my plans of what I want to do etc but after giving it some thought I really don’t want her to go away with her and she recently messaged me asking me what dates I’m booking.

How do I say nicely, “I’ve actually changed my mind and I don’t want you to come”. I should point out that it’s my daughter (16) and I that will be going.

Thanks!

OP posts:
LaDamaDeElche · 12/04/2023 21:03

2bazookas · 11/04/2023 13:44

You don't have to explin anything. Just say

"Sorry, change of plan here.
. Hope you can find someone else to go with"

People don't do this in real life. It's rude.

Roxy69 · 12/04/2023 21:36

Witchofcawdor · 11/04/2023 12:29

I would message or call her and just say that after your meeting, you had a think and feel that with it being Christmas you'd really actually like to spend the holiday just you and your daughter. Say you just got a bit over-excited but with your daughter's age you dont know how much longer she'll want to go away on holidays with you and you want to make the most of it and maybe you can plan another trip away together in the future instead (but then just don't mention it again).

Perfect.

opinionssoughtplease · 12/04/2023 21:57

FrenchandSaunders · 11/04/2023 11:42

I would use your DD as an excuse, say she's been looking forward to a bit of 1-1 with her mum and the dynamics would change if she attended.

Yes this

Ilovecleaning · 13/04/2023 07:54

GalileoHumpkins · 11/04/2023 12:18

There is no way to tell her 'nicely' that you don't want her to come, she's going to be hurt however you word it. Don't blame or use your daughter as an excuse, that's cowardly.
I think you have to just tell her you made a mistake inviting her, apologise and hope your friendship survives.

Lol. A friendship wouldn’t survive this! Honesty definitely not the best policy here. Of course she should use daughter as an excuse. What’s wrong with that?

SpringleDingle · 13/04/2023 08:02

I’m sorry, I got a bit excited and invited tou without checking with DD. Have since discussed it and we’d rather go just us two. I’m sure you understand. Perhaps you and I can do something together later next year?

Ilovecleaning · 13/04/2023 08:43

SpringleDingle · 13/04/2023 08:02

I’m sorry, I got a bit excited and invited tou without checking with DD. Have since discussed it and we’d rather go just us two. I’m sure you understand. Perhaps you and I can do something together later next year?

Good idea.

MadMadaMim · 13/04/2023 12:22

I'd call her and say that you've had a rethink and the I'll be celebrating Christmas with just you and DD. She's at an age where his may be the last one together without other people, boyfriend's etc and you want to have enjoy and make the most of your last mum/child christmas together.

chuggy · 13/04/2023 15:32

This has totally reminded me of the friends episode where Chandler was like "We should do this again, I'll call you" at the end of a rubbish date 😂

Not a great deal to add other than as mentioned previously just say your daughter is at a difficult teen age and you need to do it 1-1 this time.

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