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Original poster

How to deal with relative who impersonates me

81 replies

inshitsville · 03/04/2023 12:31

I've just found out that 15yo niece does "an excellent impersonation" of me. I know she's only 15 but I'm mortified to think of my family (DH's side) laughing at this. To me it's mockery and my worst nightmare.

I'm quite a reserved person and can be really self conscious, qualities that I've tried to learn to hide over the years. I'm sure I'll hear this impersonation one of these days and I need to plan how I'm going to react when everyone else is smiling/laughing. I don't want to come across as oversensitive to them or show my humiliation but, with some kind of humour, ask for this to stop.

OP posts:
Campervangirl · 03/04/2023 12:38

Don't really see how you can stop it, if you ask for it to stop you may find your reaction added to the impersonation.
I'm with you though, I'd hate to find out someone is doing an impersonation of me because, let's be honest, it's taking the piss out of you

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 03/04/2023 12:45

Who told you OP? Was it your husband? Has he seen the impression? I would be very unhappy if someone mimicked me behind my back

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:46

Op this is something I do a do and it's not meant unkindly.. Perhaps she's the same?

Henddraig · 03/04/2023 12:46

How rude of them all.

You shouldn’t have to stop it - her parents should, and no one should be talking about it like it’s a good thing.

Lateliein · 03/04/2023 12:47

A couple of members of my family used to do this to a few of us and I really hated it.. It made me so self conscious. And I can laugh at myself! It just felt mean-spirited and a piss take.

ThirdWorld · 03/04/2023 12:48

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:46

Op this is something I do a do and it's not meant unkindly.. Perhaps she's the same?

Of course it's unkind! Impersonating someone behind their back?

Making people laugh at your impersonation?

CreationNat1on · 03/04/2023 12:48

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:46

Op this is something I do a do and it's not meant unkindly.. Perhaps she's the same?

How is it meant?

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:49

Just adds colour to the story?

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 12:51

It's not oversensitive.

It wouldn't be an issue if you trusted them. So you obviously don't get along or trust they love you.

TempNCforthis · 03/04/2023 12:51

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:46

Op this is something I do a do and it's not meant unkindly.. Perhaps she's the same?

Why would you do that? It's really really bitchy.

MegIsWhite · 03/04/2023 12:52

Depends on the context. Does she do other impersonation of others or just you? If just you, I'd be more concerned. Although you still have the right to not want it even if she does impersonations in general. I just think the latter sounds more malicious than the former.

Also does she do this regularly and why? What are the adults around her doing or saying? They should be putting a stop to this if it's malicious. If they don't, they aren't very nice people.

You should speak to your dh to talk to his family about this if you don't have the sort of relationship where you could do so yourself. A 15 year old is old enough to understand not to make a mockery of someone especially when told it's upsetting.

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:53

Impersonating accents and movements comes naturally to me because I used to do tons of drama.

It's just something I do naturally when recounting something.
There is no intention behind it.

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 12:54

I'm merely pointing out it may not be malicious.

Maybe it is,I'm just pointing out for balance it maybe innocent.

Bibbetybobbity · 03/04/2023 12:58

Oh Jeeze @Makesense12 you really need to stop, that’s not ok and soooo awkward.

Original poster
inshitsville · 03/04/2023 13:00

I don't think she does it with any intention to humiliate me. And I don't know the context of what she's actually saying etc.

Her dad told me- DH's brother. It was in the context of "she's a really good actor... she does great impersonations... she does an excellent one of YOU..." all the while smiling. Even when he said this I found myself smiling and laughing , trying to go along with the joke even though I was cringing. I don't know why I am like that but I just can't help if... I'm a people pleaser I guess. I really don't want to give the impression that it's ok but not sure how to handle it. As a PP said, my reaction will no doubt go into the mockery bank.

Could get DH to talk to his brother (the girl's father) but I don't think I can really change what happens behind my back, can I? (even though I don't think it's intentionally malicious)

OP posts:
Original poster
inshitsville · 03/04/2023 13:01

Thank you @Makesense12 I think my in-laws are like this. It's all "just joking". But I'm still cringing.

OP posts:
Xjshdvf · 03/04/2023 13:01

How did you become aware of this? I don’t like that its behind your back.
Within my family one of the teens does impressions but not behind someone’s back and they do it for all of us; I’d certainly say something if I thought they were doing it maliciously or have a quiet word if it upset anyone.
I realise this takes a certain amount of guts but I’d respond by doing an impression back of her or get your DH to have a word that it isn’t nice

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 03/04/2023 13:02

Being a people please and being taken the piss out of for being so is an unkind thing to do and insensitive.

Sweeted · 03/04/2023 13:02

Ask them to do the impression of you to your face.

Original poster
inshitsville · 03/04/2023 13:04

Sweeted · 03/04/2023 13:02

Ask them to do the impression of you to your face.

That's what I said to her dad when he told me but actually I don't think I want to hear it.

OP posts:
Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 13:06

Op context is important and to be honest I wouldn't like my in laws or their side impersonating me either.

For me it's just accents I'm strangely attracted too.
If she's also actory it may be natural for her.

There maybe something you do, hand mannerism or something like that. I used to do impersonating from extremely young age, Margaret thatcher was my first!

I agree it can seem awful but it maybe have innocent intentions behind it that's all.

If you have any issues with your in laws id nip this in the bud though.

Original poster
inshitsville · 03/04/2023 13:07

Thank you all so much for the support. I so relieved to hear I'm not being overly sensitive. I was half expecting you all to respond with "just tell her how you feel" so reading all your responses has given me courage to deal with it in one way r another , however that comes out.

You're right, going behind my back is not fair. I have no idea how long this has been going on.

OP posts:
MegIsWhite · 03/04/2023 13:08

Ah well, you'd have to give the impression that you really don't want it otherwise, they're under the assumption that it's fine. Him telling you shows it's not done "behind your back" in that sense but more like you've not been present when she did it. If it was meant to be malicious, he probably wouldn't say it.

I agree you should speak to dh and if they're decent, they'd stop her from doing you even if they'd think you're being a little too "precious". You definitely can't change it if they continue 'behind your back' this time but I'd give them a chance to stop it first.

Makesense12 · 03/04/2023 13:08

As an aside my dd is also into drama and she will repeat what i say sometimes or do a mannerism.

We do laugh and I do find it interesting and funny. I like to see how I come across sometimes.

But obviously I love and trust my dd!!

BigTedLittleTedCardboardBox · 03/04/2023 13:09

Start practising an impersonation of her saying what she thinks of the impersonation of you

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