How to deal with relative who impersonates me

[inshitsville]

I've just found out that 15yo niece does "an excellent impersonation" of me. I know she's only 15 but I'm mortified to think of my family (DH's side) laughing at this. To me it's mockery and my worst nightmare.

I'm quite a reserved person and can be really self conscious, qualities that I've tried to learn to hide over the years. I'm sure I'll hear this impersonation one of these days and I need to plan how I'm going to react when everyone else is smiling/laughing. I don't want to come across as oversensitive to them or show my humiliation but, with some kind of humour, ask for this to stop.

When you’re next at a family gathering & she’s there..

Say to her “hey niece, do your impression of Grandma/Sister/whoever” then just stare & smile at her, she’ll be shocked (because she doesn’t have an impression of them) & they’ll be wondering if she impersonates them all!

Yes I agree that, because he told me and was smiling, it's done with good humour and not intended to be hurtful.

What do you all think? Should I say "go on, show me then" in the hope that's is just really bad and nothing like me (contrary to what her dad thinks)? If it's a good impression though it'll make me super self conscious.

I do have a slight accent but people tell me it's very subtle now that I've been in this county for years.

Then when she says ‘I don’t have one’ say go on, it’s really funny!

Some people on here are getting completely carried away, I’m no mimic so don’t so impressions but my DH and SIL are and often will do an impression of someone when recounting a story, it’s never malicious and they don’t make fun of the person, it just makes the anecdote funnier as you can really imagine the person in the situation.

The OP doesn’t know what the impression entails but I’m sure if it was nasty she’d be unlikely to know about it.

I don't spend enough time with her for her to want to tell anecdotes about me.

That's not okay. Really.

I'd be inclined to ask her to do her impression of you next time you see them. Whatever the quality of said impression I'd then say 'aren't you clever' in a deadpan tone.

It's cheeky of her and your BIL should have kept it to himself rather than encouraging his precocious little darling.

It is where I am but my circles are creative and as said there is no malicious intention.

My sil is a scientist and I can understand its a very alien concept to her..

Also op why on earth woud your bil even mention this.

It's bothering you so take action.

You take the piss out of people behind their back and it's not meant unkindly? Would hate to know what you do consider unkind.

I'd be inclined to ask her to do her impression of you next time you see them. Whatever the quality of said impression I'd then say 'aren't you clever' in a deadpan tone.

There's no need to be passive aggressive. If she doesn't like something, best to say it or don't even engage with the person and giving them the impression that you're fine with it or trying to drop vague hints like sarcastic insults. In that situation, only one person actually looks mean and it's not the one who doesn't realise they're offending.

I would start working on an impersonation of her 🤷

Comedians used to get high fees for impersonating the famous on TV.
Top of the bill on Sunday Night. Watched by millions

Bollocks. You sound like a rude person who thinks their special “actor” status gives them leave to be unpleasant to people.

It upsets many people. So don’t do it. It’s not hard to understand.

I agree with @Makesense12 that there is probably no malice intended by your neice and it surely isn't that unusual when recounting an anecdote to mimic the people involved without any intent to be mean about them

I doubt her father would have told your DH if the impression was cruel or derogatory

In your shoes I would be intrigued to hear the impression and my reaction would depend on how accurate the impression is and whether it's humorous or not.

If I were you, I’d tackle it head on:
“Come on then, let’s see your impression then?”
”Not bad, keep working on the voice”

It will either become something you’re included in, which dilutes its power, or the impression will disappear.

@user1477391263

What an absolutely bizzare post.
You have absolutely no idea what my impersonating is at all because you don't know me 😂

As pp more eloquently put it's more about living out an actual scenario. Which is what actors do.

@StopFeckingFaffing agree but I'm always wary of in laws.

It depends on ops relationship with them.

Is it really behind your back though if they're literally telling you about it?

The child is 15, and she's probably messing around.

You've said yourself it's not malicious.

What happened to not taking yourself too seriously?

And some of the anger on here to pp posting a different view. Is actually worrying!

This happened to me Op. Found out my two teenage nieces were impersonating me. Their parents made them 'perform' for me. I smiled along but it really hurt as I thought the world of them. I didn't say anything at the time as I thought it would blow up into something bigger, but I was always wary of the whole family from then on. It felt really disrespectful.

It's bullying. There's nothing kind about it.

Ask her to do it for you, then tell her it was shit. Squelch that shit down.

I don't think that @Makesense12 is saying she makes fun of people; she's saying that if she is recounting a story in which X appears, she'll instictively adopt X's speech patterns/accent/mannerisms when detailing what X has said or done.

There are some very OTT reactions being expressed on this thread

I can understand that it might make people feel a bit cringe or uncomfortable or self conscious but we are talking about a 15 year old girl here and in the absence of any evidence that the impression is intended to be spiteful or derogatory then surely you would give the poor girl the benefit of doubt

I imagine she'd be a bit embarrassed if you asked her to her face, esp if she's mocking you. 'Oh, I hear you do a really good impression of me, can I see it?' and just sit there and wait. If she won't do it then you know it's something you don't want to see, but then things done behind your back usually aren't.