How to deal with relative who impersonates me

[inshitsville]

I've just found out that 15yo niece does "an excellent impersonation" of me. I know she's only 15 but I'm mortified to think of my family (DH's side) laughing at this. To me it's mockery and my worst nightmare.

I'm quite a reserved person and can be really self conscious, qualities that I've tried to learn to hide over the years. I'm sure I'll hear this impersonation one of these days and I need to plan how I'm going to react when everyone else is smiling/laughing. I don't want to come across as oversensitive to them or show my humiliation but, with some kind of humour, ask for this to stop.

Context is everything. My husband and in-laws mimic one phone call I had when I channelled my inner posh school teacher, think Miss Jean Brodie, at what I thought was a prank call. It was actually a friend of my husband with a very unfortunate nickname.
The whole thing is really funny and certainly not offensive because the original situation was funny.
If they just copied the way I speak then that would be hurtful.

I think at the 'she does an excellent one of you' I would have raised an eyebrow and said 'oh, does she? Well, I hope someone's letting her know it's rude and immature to impersonate people she knows and stopping her from doing it in inappropriate settings until she grows out of it'.

I don't think you have to 'laugh along' with this one, and the type of adults who would find it funny and encourage it strike me as the same type who think practical jokes are hilarious.

Totally agree. I'm just hopeless when put on the spot and only think afterwards of how I really wanted to react.

I TOTALLY get that context is everything, and of course if it's just a one-liner or if she's actually prancing about the room pretending to be me with everyone laughing.

I'll probably end up hearing it and just tell them that if they find enjoyment in taking the piss then I can't stop them. Basically if they think I'll be ok with it, it shows how little they really do know me. I've learnt a lot about them :(

@inshitsville do you know if she only impersonates you or does she 'do' everyone? I think that would make some difference. Just you is definitely singling you out for some kind of mockery, but if she does everyone it's arguable she's just practicing a 'skill' that she's been encouraged in as some sort of family entertainer (in which case it's on other people to curb her excesses and look to themselves as to what they think is ok that probably isn't).
But either way there's nothing wrong with you not liking it and saying so, don't be shamed into thinking you have to go along with it.

Unlike many on this thread, I think IIWY I would be tackling this directly, either with your dh or with his brother. 'About Lucinda's impersonation of me. I don't appreciate this and I don't think it's wise to encourage a child to make fun of adults personally known to her. I think she should be guided to understand it'S rude and immature, and I don't want to see it.'

You're not going to win, you see. You won't win if you 'laugh along', and you won't win if you ask to see it and become upset (it'll be 'can't take a joke?'). So you may as well assert your boundaries.

I agree with the posters who think this kind of thing is almost always unkind and done to belittle, unless it develops in real mutual interaction between people who know how each one means it. Certainly not behind your back like this. I have a very 'bantery' relationship with my teenage sons, particularly the eldest. We take the piss out of each other. But mimicry goes a step too far IMO and I've left them in no doubt about that on the couple of occasions they've strayed into it. My middle son's best friend, who is always round here and almost one of the family, imitated me once (my children are bilingual and my language is not the majority one) and I was wounded and furious. Son was tasked with making it clear to his friend that that wasn't to happen again.

I don't think you are being insensitive op. I don't necessarily think the family are being deliberately unkind, just a bit thick. A joke isn't a joke if the subject isn't in on it, and banter is just another way of excusing bullying. As adults they should be teaching their daughter this, not egging her on. Perhaps just a quiet word with her is all that's needed, explaining how her actions could make someone feel. I know your feelings aren't there for her learning experience, but you would be doing her the favour that her family are obviously unequipped for.