DD has been dishonest for personal gain. What to do?

[leonairs]

DD is 15 and just sat a recent GCSE she's taken early

My ex has told me she's said to him her mental illness isn't real, and she will 'discontinue' the therapy after she's finished A Levels. This came about when I asked him to talk to her about why she wasn't taking her tablets, I'd caught her a few times having not taking them. The tablet is Risperidone so not a risk free drug!

To clarify, she gets extra time and a small % too, I believe, due to extenuating circumstances.

Ex has told me this has all been a lie to get extra marks. He was a 'crafty' younger man and DD thought she could tell him and he'd approve - This idea of being safe to tell him probably came from the many tales of his misspent youth!

He told me he didn't really know what to say and I should speak to her. Trouble is, I don't know what to say either and find it all very hard to unpick. It isn't something google will have an answer to.

It all seems very calculated.

For clarification, she's a bright student who is described as being very 'quick and intelligent' by her history teacher for example. She is popular, seems well liked

What can I do about this? Where do I start

If you recognise me then Pm me I beg you before you say anything

Does she have / has she ever had any trauma in her life?

There is a growing movement in psychology that denounces all these new “personality disorders”, bipolar and mental illnesses (which majority of those diagnosed are women surprise surprise) - when in fact the person’s behaviour is simply a logical and natural response to trauma.

A bit like a hundred years ago when women who were utterly miserable living abusive or neglectful lives, or who had PND, or who had any kind of sex drive, were “diagnosed” with “disorders” and routinely drugged up and / or locked up.

Could it be that she is just clever, a bit self obsessed, manipulative and that’s just her character? It seems awful that they have labelled her psychotic and medicated her so easily just based on things she has chosen to tell them. What are the voices? What do they tell her? Are they distressing? Maybe ask her…

Thank you for your kind words 💖 Yes, my life has been permanently changed for the worst over the past 8 years but I don't try and fight it much now. I guess it's like having something like Parkinson's disease, I just accept that it is the way it is. 🤷 people like Michael J Fox are my heroes, and I hope I can be as inspirational to others as he is, living with these things and advocating for better awareness and change etc ❤

@NooNooHead1981 I'm also really sorry to hear what you've been through, I also have some permanent health issues from a medication.

A friend in the US was prescribed quetiapine off-label for tinnitus, and that was on top of a whole other cocktail of benzodiazepines, sleeping tablets, gabapentin and an SSRI.

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry to hear you have been harmed by medication too. It's a common thing to have an iatrogenic injury I think, but it only becomes apparent once you have one and speak to other people in the same position (which is the same with lots of things I guess 😆 ).

I'm sorry to hear that your friend was polydrugged and prescribed quetiapine too. I was polydrugged with many other meds along with the antipsychotic too, and i think it's dreadful prescribing by the medical 'professionals' when their first idea of a treatment is throwing as many drugs as possible at vulnerable people 💔

@NooNooHead1981 thank you, and I really hope things are as manageable as possible for you.

Op forget about the extra time
Unfortunately it's never what it seems anyway, it's rarely in a quiet special room etc.

It sounds far more worrying about the tablets etc. I'd just concentrate on that.

Lots of posters here could do with reading up on the Rosenhan experiment

Which is presumably why the psychiatrist wanted her to admit herself to a ward.....

...as long as they read about the ethical issues and validity as well.

I'm not sure a discredited 50-yr-old study is particularly relevant.

I thought it was merely to point out that sane people can present as insane, I don't think the poster actually meant to take the study on full merit.

The side effects of this drug are pretty dramatic. I'm not sure if they could be hidden to this extent. I'm wondering if she's actually taking them.

Some individuals also take it for anxiety and autism behaviours.

Very serious mental health issues that as her mum, sharing a small house with her all the time, I've never once seen evidence of, or any indication she's unwell at all

And yet you took your -what, 12 or 13 year old at the time? - daughter to the GP in the first place.

You had a referral to MH services which you took her to, had a referral to a psychiatrist which YOU TOOK HER TO AND ATTENDED WITH HER, took her prescription to the pharmacy and oversaw her taking her medication, took your young child to the obligatory monthly medication reviews, ALL OF THAT...

BUT you have never seen any evidence of mental health issues? Do you understand that would make you a Munchausen by Proxy criminal?

Come on guys. This is a silly schoolgirl fantasy. Stop feeding it.

You know her best, but what I would say is that serious mental health issues are difficult to demonstrate if you don't have them. If she is manipulating the system that isn't good, but really that only shows that she has issues in itself doesn't it? Maybe not the same as she has been diagnosed with, but something shouts that she's not ok.

MBP is now called fictitious disorder imposed on another - but I don't think we should judge as we only know a little about this situation. A young person of this age could easily go to the GP themselves and get a referral (parents just need to consent). OP is saying that her DD is manipulative, this is a problem in itself.
But I don't think we should be trying to label people with serious mental health issues like FD - this is just a social forum