DD has been dishonest for personal gain. What to do?

[leonairs]

DD is 15 and just sat a recent GCSE she's taken early

My ex has told me she's said to him her mental illness isn't real, and she will 'discontinue' the therapy after she's finished A Levels. This came about when I asked him to talk to her about why she wasn't taking her tablets, I'd caught her a few times having not taking them. The tablet is Risperidone so not a risk free drug!

To clarify, she gets extra time and a small % too, I believe, due to extenuating circumstances.

Ex has told me this has all been a lie to get extra marks. He was a 'crafty' younger man and DD thought she could tell him and he'd approve - This idea of being safe to tell him probably came from the many tales of his misspent youth!

He told me he didn't really know what to say and I should speak to her. Trouble is, I don't know what to say either and find it all very hard to unpick. It isn't something google will have an answer to.

It all seems very calculated.

For clarification, she's a bright student who is described as being very 'quick and intelligent' by her history teacher for example. She is popular, seems well liked

What can I do about this? Where do I start

If you recognise me then Pm me I beg you before you say anything

She's not lying about the psychosis. She'd have to be an Oscar-worthy actress.

Op you know if she has it or not
Does she? Or do you recognise it more as being not true?

Like a PP says, I know my own daughter. And I can tell you it doesn't add up, so much so that as I've said previously on this thread, the psychiatrist is also a bit baffled by the inconsistencies and lack of negative symptoms (negative symptoms are just another name for other non psychotic things relating to the psychosis)

Anyway, I would never ever call her a liar. But I will have to be careful

She's a clever girl and a good talker, very good at convincing people and always has been

I will discuss with the MH team tomorrow morning over the phone and ask for a review over the phone to discuss my concerns

DD has no other signs she's psychotic other than telling us she hears and sees things. That's why the psychiatric team can't work out the behaviour.

Never seen her upset or caught off guard by anything unless the time is right, such as not wanting to go with me somewhere boring or more important things too

Her friends don't have a clue, she's told me. And I'm under strict instruction not to breathe a word to anyone about it. Which is normal. But psychosis is hard to hide!

Risperidone is an Anti psychotic first prescribed by a psychiatrist!
She can't lie to be diagnosed with a psychotic illness!
You must know the reason

I doubt it to. But it's not impossible and it's also possible that OP is not in denial and knows more about it than any of us.

Teenagers (and adults) faking mental illness, sometimes impressively, has been well documented. It does happen. Mental health services are in crisis and its quite possible she has had very little time with a professional.

You don't just "write to the exam board". You fill in a JCQ form with evidence and assessments. A child has to have a standardised score of under 84 or less on at least one diagnostic test or several slightly higher scores which relate to different areas of speed of working.

It is the case that many people with a mental illness may have these learning difficulties but the extra time is not for the mental illness itself. What is much more common is rest breaks.

You're quite literally calling her a liar now. No wonder she's not open with her symptoms.

@Anonhopingforbaby no I'm not. For goodness sakes, I'm just concerned and speaking on an anonymous forum

My views that I've kept to myself are most definitely not shared with DD and not even the psychosis team when they asked what I think of everythjng, could it be fabricated etc. when I said no they pretty much just accepted her version of things and that's that

I'm concerned because I don't want her taking a serious drug if she doesn't need it.

No signs at all of an increase in the psychosis itself. There are signs and as a mum I was given a bit of what to watch out for as a crisis sign/escalation. None of it adds up

Two things- many illnesses are made worse when adverse things happen.
If I get a panic attack about going shopping or to the hospital, but not about going out for a meal, that doesn't mean I'm not agoraphobic.

The adverse consequence of being labelled with a mental illness is far greater than the benefit of extra time in exams.

I suspect you all wish it was a faked ailment rather than real- quite understandable.

I mean, if she's faked psychosis for this long, and to the point of being prescribed and actually taking an anti-psychotic medication, she's not ok anyway. That's not healthy behaviour or thinking in itself. Goes way beyond just trying to get some kind of personal gain.

It's also very possible that things have been shared and/or observed in sessions between your daughter and her clinicians that haven't been disclosed to you. That's normal in mental health care, and a good thing, as long as it's always disclosed if she is deemed a danger to herself or others, or at risk. Consider that her clinicians may well be puzzled about some aspects of her presentation, but that's not the entire picture that they have as professionals involved in her care.

I have to say I agree with PPs that your cynicism around your daughter's experiences and diagnosis is shining through quite clearly, and this will be having an effect on what your daughter shares with you, and how she presents.

Why are you forcing her to take them if you think she's making it up?

Does she have her 'episodes' on the medication?

Sorry but you need to get a handle on your daughter. If a psychiatrist felt she needed to be somewhere does that not tell you how bad it probably actually is. They don't ask you to go into units for nothing these days you know. Maybe you also need to better understand physcosis because who you see in your daughter will not be who is inside. We have 3 family members different ages with it and its a roller coaster most of the time. And tbh I've forgotten how many times 2 in particular have been in a special unit after becoming a danger to themselves. Good luck but in no way believe she's pretending they do not give that medication out lightly.She needs to take it.

I meant to say in my comment as well:

Your comment about it "conveniently" happening when there's something she doesn't want to do is worrying, OP. You clearly don't really believe her, or at least, are very ready to be suspicious of her.

It's extremely common for "things we don't want to do" to trigger negative feelings, which in turn can very easily trigger psychosis in someone who is psychotic. That's not being soft or wishy washy, it's simply true. We all know from experience how it's much easier to do things we want to do, even when we're not at 100%. It goes the same the other way. If we don't have factors like psychosis and other serious health conditions to contend with, most people can push through. If you're psychotic, though, being faced with something you don't want to do can, unfortunately, trigger symptoms. It's just a fact of life, even though it's inconvenient.

@tattygrl psychosis is a serious MH condition with many aspects being extremely difficult to hide. Like I say, I've only said so on here and not even the to MH team who are also a bit confused, but it doesn't add up

A child suffering with psychosis doesn't go out with friends all the time, revise well and go to the gym, swimming, family events. Healthy sleep pattern, great care in personal hygiene and make up, no negative impact on her qualify of life at all

She talks to me a lot and is very happy with life. No hint of anything being wrong other than her saying she's hearing and seeing things, and could something be put into place to help when it comes to the exams? She told the psychiatrist extensively about her being worried it would harm her chances at GCSE

Other than that nothing. Again you can all claim I'm talking in denial but I know my daughter

She is manipulative. Not in a nasty way. She's generally very kind and generous. But she is very skilled at people being persuaded to agree etc

Always has been

Interesting OP, sounds more sociopathic than psychotic if your thoughts are right.

Btw I think this is okay to discuss on a forum - better to talk about anonymously than to her at this stage.

It is a serious condition. Like you say. Look at your family members. During these acute episodes, are they absolutely 100% socialising normally, doing well academically/at work (if adults), enjoying the usual stuff with 0 other signs?

Again, you can't mark and conceal psychosis 24:7, usually, which again is why the MH team can't figure it out properly

Thank you. She can be very nice so don't thing psychopathy at all but she is manipulative and very skilled at it, from a very early age she has been and just got better and better

She would just tell you she's a woman who knows what she wants. That's what she often says when questioned about her being very set in her ways etc.

But according to some people I can't possibly be right at all and it's impossible to make it up. I don't think it is impossible.

My brother...an adult frequently comes off his meds and says there is nothing wrong with him because he can't see it.....but then thinking people are following him and we're all poisoning him.....talk to the doctor they don't give meds like this for nothing.

Op if you believe your own child is faking her illness and is a manipulative liar then I suggest you speak to her health care providers.

I hadn't realised that this was an anti psychotic drug. I am not convinced that a teenager would be able to fake this to the extent of persuading a medical professional to diagnose this medication. I accept that you know your dd best, but this does seem rather far fetched.

Indeed, something is not adding up here.

I do personally know someone with psychosis, who is actually currently off their medication as a personal choice (been diagnosed and treated for a LONG time, still under a good medical team, all is well). This person maintains their hygiene, socialises, is actually working again now, more chatty, reports that they feel better in themselves at the moment. I'm not making a general statement about psychosis here, simply illustrating that actually people with genuine psychosis actually can present, and genuinely live, "normal", happy and engaged lives. It's complex and invariably will change throughout their lives, with the ups and downs life brings, etc. So I would be wary of making assumptions, even with your wealth of knowledge of who she is as a person as her mother. Things can be so very, very different under the surface, even in people we know so well.

I am confused about how she has been prescribed this medication if literally all she has said to a professional is that she sometimes hears voices. Is that the case?

I think you could be right op. Yes, teenagers certainly can fake psychosis. However it's arguably a sign of symptoms to fake these symptoms. I think you should talk to her psych

She isn't telling me that though. If asked, she says she still hears things exactly the same despite medication. No other inkling she's unwell other than when asked about it

One of the confusions the Mh team has is what to do with the Risperidone as they say they'd usually see some response at least with psychosis to it

This! I'm bipolar. I can't can't the amount of times I've tried to justify stopping my medication by saying (and convincing myself!) that it's a wrong diagnosis, I'm fine, I'm secretly complying to benefit myself not the "system".

@tattygrl you know that person but presumably you're not their parent? So haven't seen them all the time and know what they're like? You're seeing only some of them and don't know what they're truly like at home etc, what phase of the illness they're in and if it's particularly bad or manageable, getting better etc

0 changes in my daughters pattern of behaviour and lifestyle. Again this only comes up when asked about it