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Original poster

DD has been dishonest for personal gain. What to do?

166 replies

leonairs · 28/03/2023 12:06

DD is 15 and just sat a recent GCSE she's taken early

My ex has told me she's said to him her mental illness isn't real, and she will 'discontinue' the therapy after she's finished A Levels. This came about when I asked him to talk to her about why she wasn't taking her tablets, I'd caught her a few times having not taking them. The tablet is Risperidone so not a risk free drug!

To clarify, she gets extra time and a small % too, I believe, due to extenuating circumstances.

Ex has told me this has all been a lie to get extra marks. He was a 'crafty' younger man and DD thought she could tell him and he'd approve - This idea of being safe to tell him probably came from the many tales of his misspent youth!

He told me he didn't really know what to say and I should speak to her. Trouble is, I don't know what to say either and find it all very hard to unpick. It isn't something google will have an answer to.

It all seems very calculated.

For clarification, she's a bright student who is described as being very 'quick and intelligent' by her history teacher for example. She is popular, seems well liked

What can I do about this? Where do I start

If you recognise me then Pm me I beg you before you say anything

OP posts:
Resister · 28/03/2023 13:11

It feels weird to me that you can't possibly broach the subject with her, and that you can't say it to the psych. Why not?

Comefromaway · 28/03/2023 13:13

I think the fact that many mental illnesses are co-morbid with other specific learning difficulties that is muddying the waters.

FiveHundredDucksWentOutOneDay · 28/03/2023 13:13

She has psychosis.

One of the leading symptoms of psychosis in most patients is them becoming convinced that they don't need meds for it, because they don't in fact have psychosis.

See it as the start of a spiral, OP; and take steps to help your daughter, unless there is a lot more to this and you doubted the diagnosis anyway.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

15 year olds
coldmarchmorn · 28/03/2023 13:14

FiveHundredDucksWentOutOneDay · 28/03/2023 13:13

She has psychosis.

One of the leading symptoms of psychosis in most patients is them becoming convinced that they don't need meds for it, because they don't in fact have psychosis.

See it as the start of a spiral, OP; and take steps to help your daughter, unless there is a lot more to this and you doubted the diagnosis anyway.

Or she doesn't.

Don't diagnose people you've never seen, on the basis of a second hand account, when you are not a psychiatrist.

Littleloveydovey · 28/03/2023 13:15

coldmarchmorn · 28/03/2023 13:14

Or she doesn't.

Don't diagnose people you've never seen, on the basis of a second hand account, when you are not a psychiatrist.

Show quote history

The poster didn’t diagnose. The child’s medical team did

FiveHundredDucksWentOutOneDay · 28/03/2023 13:16

Apologies OP, your most recent posts hadn't loaded when I posted that.

I'd be having a serious chat with the MH team. I'm not sure that them saying they can't work this out is good enough...

What she's doing also isn't uncommon. Most MH behaviour isn't, as it turns out; humans are rather predictable. If there are concerns that she does not have psychosis, there is no way she should be taking that drug. I want to say she needs help now; but I know from personal experience with a close family member that getting help for this type of thing is damn near impossible on the NHS, so I don't want to be unrealistic - but treating her as they are is a bizarre step.

MyriadOfTravels · 28/03/2023 13:19

@leonairs you need to talk to her consultant.

Like I say, I've only said so on here and not even the to MH team who are also a bit confused
Thats an issue imo. Esp as they have doubts.

And if she us that manipulative, then there is something else underneath it all. Not psychosis but something else that she needs help with. Because manipulating people like this, lying will cause her a hell of a lot of problem as an adult. It won’t stop there, esp if it has worked that well for her…..

discobrain · 28/03/2023 13:19

Time for her to spend some time in an inpatient facility I think. That will get to the bottom of this.

CalistoNoSolo · 28/03/2023 13:24

You're getting a hard time here OP, no idea why. I think your logical next step is an appointment with your daughters psychiatrist and laying absolutely everything out on the table. They can then decide what the best thing will be for your daughter.

There are several reasons I can think of immediately as to why she may be faking it, and of course people fake mental illness for personal gain. How ridiculous of pp to suggest otherwise.

FloatingBean · 28/03/2023 13:26

Comefromaway · 28/03/2023 12:50

You don't just "write to the exam board". You fill in a JCQ form with evidence and assessments. A child has to have a standardised score of under 84 or less on at least one diagnostic test or several slightly higher scores which relate to different areas of speed of working.

It is the case that many people with a mental illness may have these learning difficulties but the extra time is not for the mental illness itself. What is much more common is rest breaks.

If you read the JCQ’s guidance you will see a Form 8 is only relevant to those applying with with learning difficulties. It is not required and must not be used for those applying with other needs so standardised scores aren’t relevant to the OP.

GoodChat · 28/03/2023 13:35

Comefromaway · 28/03/2023 12:50

You don't just "write to the exam board". You fill in a JCQ form with evidence and assessments. A child has to have a standardised score of under 84 or less on at least one diagnostic test or several slightly higher scores which relate to different areas of speed of working.

It is the case that many people with a mental illness may have these learning difficulties but the extra time is not for the mental illness itself. What is much more common is rest breaks.

All of this is irrelevant. OP will know the school contact the exam board and the exam board made special allowances. She won't have heard about every form the school needed to fill out.

Comefromaway · 28/03/2023 13:40

That was one example (for extra time only, not other adjustments such as rest breaks)

The evidence required for extra time is quite onerous and proof has to be shown that the condition affects speed of working. Rest breaks need to be considered first. (To be honest rest breaks are often more useful in these cases anyway.) A diagnosis of a mental health condition alone is not enough.

Indoorcatmum · 28/03/2023 13:42

One thing that makes me question whether she is faking it, is your strict instructions to to tell anyone.

A teen doing something for attention and special treatment usually wants family and peers involved to feed that need.

Also, if she is as clever as you say, psychosis doesn't seem to fit what she would choose if faking it.

Something with less stigma would be ADHD which also can be faked and would result in similar allowances.

Indoorcatmum · 28/03/2023 13:43

Sorry, *NOT to tell anyone.

FloatingBean · 28/03/2023 13:43

A diagnosis of a mental health condition alone is not enough.

A mental health condition alone can be enough.

Zebracrossings · 28/03/2023 13:52

Can I ask how was her psychosis diagnosed?

Op so you believe that she is doing this for the extra % only or for being treated specially. I mean her mistakes are overlooked and she gets special attention at school or something.

potniatheron · 28/03/2023 13:58

Risperidone is a heavy med with nasty side effects so I can understand your concern. Maybe you should ask for a fresh evaluation. MH teams definitely don't get things right all the time. A lot of them on the NHS are useless, to put it bluntly. They are especially bad at diagnosing personality disorders - much more like ot say bipolar, psychotic or schizophrenic and throw heavy duty meds at it. Go private if you can.

However I wouldn't do this until after her A Levels. I appreciate that you're worried shes manipulating the system but by the same toke making changes to arrangements at this late stage may unsettle her and cause her to underperform. Just go ahead with the exams as is and get a second opinion after.

2bazookas · 28/03/2023 14:11

DD sounds delusional. Delusional people often refuse their medication because their voices told them to.

CalistoNoSolo · 28/03/2023 14:29

2bazookas · 28/03/2023 14:11

DD sounds delusional. Delusional people often refuse their medication because their voices told them to.

JHC. 🙄

booksbooks8 · 28/03/2023 14:34

As others have said you need guidance and reassurance from her team that taking this medication is the correct option.
I'd have hoped that a team of professionals would have seen through a manipulative teen and their diagnosis wasn't solely based on her saying she hears voices.
Would your daughter not be at all worried by taking medicine that she didn't need, or is she actually not taking it, therefore doesn't need to worry?

Mumma · 28/03/2023 14:34

Psychotic or not, she has some form of mental illness to be happily diagnosed with psychosis and manipulate the way she has. That will stay on her record...
Although, most patients with psychosis deny having psychosis. Being unable to understand reality is often the case.

Weallgottachangesometime · 28/03/2023 14:35

I think all you can do is speak to the psychiatrist and her mental health support and raise your concerns with them.

To me, is she was “faking” or “exaggerating” symptoms….well that itself is very concerning.

Only the mental health team can properly explore it though, especially given her age and that she getting close to adulthood and managing her own medicine/health independently.

Markasread · 28/03/2023 14:38

Well it certainly sounds as if something is wrong with her.

I would start by discussing her disclosure with the school and finding out more about the context.

Markasread · 28/03/2023 14:40

Do you think you should have her assessed for a personality disorder?

onionringcheeseypuff · 28/03/2023 14:44

You just need to discuss this revelation with her prescribing and care team. Don't sweep it under the rug, don't bring it up with her again except to say you will of course need to discuss this with her care team.

It's really possible for a person to mock that they have a mental health condition if they are very intelligent, in the same way they can hide it. But a professional needs to be made aware of this disclosure.

Also, yes risperidone is a antipsychotic used firstly and primarily for psychiatric conditions, but I'd like posters to be aware it is also used in small doses for adults AND children with neurological disorders. Such as Tourette Syndrome, ADHD as well as mood disorders, bipolar disorder etc

Please don't spot risperidone in someone's medicine cabinet and assume they have psychosis...

But also, my sister has had a psychotic crisis and no she absolutely was not going out with friends, she wasn't capable of any rational organised thinking at all