Page 20 | Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 13:40

ZeroWorshipHere · 26/03/2023 13:36

Why are you even still on this thread? Surely you’ve said your nasty mean spirited piece - we get it - you’re so much better than the OP and others in council housing.

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Not nasty mean spirited, I’m realistic!

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 13:40

Tootyfilou · 26/03/2023 13:23

@jenandberrys This Country is fucked because we have had 13 years of the most right wing Tory government in British history. No investment in Local Authority housing, stagnation in wages, private rentals unaffordable for many, cost of living crisis and years and years of austerity... for the least well off , while the rich get richer.
None of this is the fault of the OP. There are some hideous cunts on this thread, and you can certainly see why we have had 13 years of the Tories when you read some of these replies.
Wishing you the very best of luck OP, congratulations on your twins and I hope everything goes well for the rest of your pregnancy and birth. x

Of course none of that is the fault of the OP. However her current circumstances are entirely her own fault and why on earth anyone would keep popping out babies they can’t house when,as you have pointed out, public services are in a terrible state is utterly beyond me

PopsicleHustler · 26/03/2023 13:43

There was a lady who lived near my mother and has 6 children in a 3 bed. 5 girls in one room and the youngest boy in the other and his room was a very good size. The girls room was the biggest, but it was two single beds and a bunk bed and then the bottom of the bunk bed was a double which was top and tail for the youngest two girls. And top bunk for one girl.
The mother and father separated but the dad worked all day and night on the weekends building an extension for two extra bedrooms. Even though he and the mother separated and he moved out, he still wanted the kids to have the extra bedrooms and appropriate space.

Another lady I know has 7 children, her newest born last year and living in a 2 bed house which she made into a 4 bed house by using a wall divider as the rooms are quite big, luckily. She is not relying on the council for an upside they are managing and the husband is working 3 jobs to buy a 6 bed house this year or next year! They have all been planned and even planned to have have more if she can as she is hitting 40 in a few years.

I also have 6 , but make sure I can do it /provide/ house appropriately by working part time and my husband owning his own business and moving forward to privately rent a bigger place once our family grew to then getting a big house that we now own. Older teen has their own room. Middle girls share bedrooms, younger boy has how own room and baby is in with me. When the eldest girl hits puberty she can have her own room too. We can make it work.

Hopefully you can make it work too. If you can properly insulate the outhouse and it feels part of the household, ie connected to the house or close to the back door, and make sure its homely and warm, why not.
Someone above made a comment about the kids will feel pushed out, hopefully it wouldn't be that way.

I am sorry for some of the replies. Capricornone1 has been so invested in this thread!

And no one should tell anyone - stranger on mumsnet or a relative- to have an abortion, unless it was obviously life and death etc.

People tell me all the time I am mad and crazy for having 6 and wanting more. But I have a very supportive and ambitious husband and my kids love a busy house and they are all very close. I like you have described your kids are close too. If you can do it, you can do it. Yes twins came as a surprise and you couldn't go through a termination. Its not the end of the world, I certainly haven't died with shock or collapsed in a heap because you're unexpectedly pregnant. Yes, your housing situation isn't ideal, but are we all going to simultaneously explode! No, so op good luck with the pregnancy and sorting everything out and making your home adaptable.

Hopefully you can make it work.

Do you have help and support from your ex husband? Do you have more than one father to your children? Have the council tried to help you? I like the idea of a loft extension ! Someone has suggested that!

HistoryFanatic · 26/03/2023 13:44

The situation doesn't sound very good for your children.

Comii9 · 26/03/2023 13:45

threeplusmum · 26/03/2023 12:50

I'm having my third child under 5, whilst living in a studio flat (effectively a 1 bedroom flat) - the only difference is me and my partner are planning to find somewhere bigger within the next couple of years because the kids are going to need more space to move around, partner is very handy and diy knowledgeable so has made more space out of what we have - 2 cots will be in the bedroom and 4 year old sleeps in the living room in her own bed 🛌 I moved into this property as a single person and 6 years later I'm having 3 kids and a partner share with me - life happens. The council don't give a crap as I live in an oversubscribed borough in London and will never consider moving outside of London.

Why must you be directly in London. Places like Hertfordshire are just on the outside you can easily get a train into London. It's not that the councils give a shit its that people need to think about these things.

hot2trotter · 26/03/2023 13:49

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 13:17

Why should the council give a crap for your poor choice. I just can’t get my head around why you and OP and god knows how many others think it’s ok to have so many children they can’t afford to accommodate adequately. Please explain?

Why do you keep coming back to this thread to stick the boot in? You've made your point and your comments are basically just repeating the same thing over and over again - genuinely, what are you trying to achieve? Do you have nothing better to do?

Justrandomstuff · 26/03/2023 13:51

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 21:00

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

I have not really read the thread. Just a glance. When I was in a small 3 bed temporary accommodation. I had 5 children including special needs. My 2 oldest boys had a room each . Then with the biggest room was girl who was 10ish. And 2 boys who were 4 and 5ish . The large room I split in half with floor to ceiling room room dividers . I added a skirting board and wall papered it. It looked like a real wall . And it gave the kids their own space. For myself I had a good sofa bed that folded out. So it was living room by day. Bedroom by night.

In your case I would get a good sofa bed and have good folding travel cot. I think you can buy better softer mattress for them now. And having the twins in with you till they are bigger.

Also look into doing a house swap

Bepis · 26/03/2023 13:52

@Capricornone1 Saying "why should the council give a crap" is nasty. There's no other way to describe it.

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 13:56

PopsicleHustler · 26/03/2023 13:43

There was a lady who lived near my mother and has 6 children in a 3 bed. 5 girls in one room and the youngest boy in the other and his room was a very good size. The girls room was the biggest, but it was two single beds and a bunk bed and then the bottom of the bunk bed was a double which was top and tail for the youngest two girls. And top bunk for one girl.
The mother and father separated but the dad worked all day and night on the weekends building an extension for two extra bedrooms. Even though he and the mother separated and he moved out, he still wanted the kids to have the extra bedrooms and appropriate space.

Another lady I know has 7 children, her newest born last year and living in a 2 bed house which she made into a 4 bed house by using a wall divider as the rooms are quite big, luckily. She is not relying on the council for an upside they are managing and the husband is working 3 jobs to buy a 6 bed house this year or next year! They have all been planned and even planned to have have more if she can as she is hitting 40 in a few years.

I also have 6 , but make sure I can do it /provide/ house appropriately by working part time and my husband owning his own business and moving forward to privately rent a bigger place once our family grew to then getting a big house that we now own. Older teen has their own room. Middle girls share bedrooms, younger boy has how own room and baby is in with me. When the eldest girl hits puberty she can have her own room too. We can make it work.

Hopefully you can make it work too. If you can properly insulate the outhouse and it feels part of the household, ie connected to the house or close to the back door, and make sure its homely and warm, why not.
Someone above made a comment about the kids will feel pushed out, hopefully it wouldn't be that way.

I am sorry for some of the replies. Capricornone1 has been so invested in this thread!

And no one should tell anyone - stranger on mumsnet or a relative- to have an abortion, unless it was obviously life and death etc.

People tell me all the time I am mad and crazy for having 6 and wanting more. But I have a very supportive and ambitious husband and my kids love a busy house and they are all very close. I like you have described your kids are close too. If you can do it, you can do it. Yes twins came as a surprise and you couldn't go through a termination. Its not the end of the world, I certainly haven't died with shock or collapsed in a heap because you're unexpectedly pregnant. Yes, your housing situation isn't ideal, but are we all going to simultaneously explode! No, so op good luck with the pregnancy and sorting everything out and making your home adaptable.

Hopefully you can make it work.

Do you have help and support from your ex husband? Do you have more than one father to your children? Have the council tried to help you? I like the idea of a loft extension ! Someone has suggested that!

Because it’s interesting and baffling at the same time, why you feel the need to name and shame me is odd? Threads are here for us to discuss isn’t that the point of Mumsnet and forums in general? We won’t all have the same POV and opinions. Some of us will have empathy some of us not so much.

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 13:57

Bepis · 26/03/2023 13:52

@Capricornone1 Saying "why should the council give a crap" is nasty. There's no other way to describe it.

I was quoting the posters wording if you took the time to notice that for goodness sake 🙄

LadyKenya · 26/03/2023 13:58

And some posters are just downright mean, and nasty as evidenced on the other thread that was started by a troll, that has just gone poof!

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 14:01

hot2trotter · 26/03/2023 13:49

Why do you keep coming back to this thread to stick the boot in? You've made your point and your comments are basically just repeating the same thing over and over again - genuinely, what are you trying to achieve? Do you have nothing better to do?

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I’m not saying anything untoward it’s a forum and I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my views.

Bepis · 26/03/2023 14:01

@Capricornone1 There was no quoting anyone else's post in yours where you said that. I just don't understand why you and others have to be awful to the OP. There's just no need for it.

ancientgran · 26/03/2023 14:04

Meandfour · 26/03/2023 12:43

Not rich, no.

But only people who can afford children should have them. For the sake of the children!

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You can't always (ever) tell the future though can you. My DH was injured at work. I had my 10 day old 4th child in my arms when the specialist broke the news that DH was never going to recover and due to the nature of his injuries it would get worse over time, he was most uncomfortable and we had to push for the full information, I assumed he felt bad breaking the news when we had such a young baby, we also had a 2 year old and 2 older ones but they were all at home. We had a few difficult years while everything was sorted out, eventually the financial things were sorted and life got easier but when I got pregnant there was no way I could have guessed what would happen and not much I could do about my 10 days old baby and no he wasn't going up for adoption.

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 14:05

Bepis · 26/03/2023 14:01

@Capricornone1 There was no quoting anyone else's post in yours where you said that. I just don't understand why you and others have to be awful to the OP. There's just no need for it.

@threeplusmum clearly wrote in their post the council don’t give a crap, go back and read it.
I don’t see how I am being awful I really don’t.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/03/2023 14:06

Well this is all playing out entirely as could be expected

Comedycook · 26/03/2023 14:06

Life is very complicated.

The op sounds like a really nice lady and I hope she finds a solution.

In all honesty, choosing to have these babies was not in the best interests of the existing children imo....but worse things happen at sea.

Hairfriar · 26/03/2023 14:07

Yes dear. I will immediately reflect and re-educate myself so I stop doing wrongthink.

Do as you like, but suggesting someone gives their kids up for adoption as a solution to having a house that's too small is so far off normal.

Bepis · 26/03/2023 14:07

@Capricornone1 It's clearly your opinion too though. I just think empathy and tact goes a long way.

PopsicleHustler · 26/03/2023 14:07

@Capricornone1 name and shame? Haha, you really have been invested in this thread! Its clear as day, you're commenting on every single page and being @ numerous times for your responses and comments.
I don't know your name to shame! Only your mumsnet name to mention you are very invested.
Yes, you're correct. Everybody does have their own point of view. Which is good because we can debate and discuss ! And get other peoples views and ideas on board. Nothing wrong with that unless its insulting and abusive.

Antiquiteas · 26/03/2023 14:09

What age are you, OP? 30s, I thought you said? It’s ludicrous they refused sterilisation to a woman in her 30s with four children.

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 14:10

Hairfriar · 26/03/2023 14:07

Yes dear. I will immediately reflect and re-educate myself so I stop doing wrongthink.

Do as you like, but suggesting someone gives their kids up for adoption as a solution to having a house that's too small is so far off normal.

Whereas I would say that having 6 children when you can’t house them adequately is far from normal.

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 14:12

PopsicleHustler · 26/03/2023 14:07

@Capricornone1 name and shame? Haha, you really have been invested in this thread! Its clear as day, you're commenting on every single page and being @ numerous times for your responses and comments.
I don't know your name to shame! Only your mumsnet name to mention you are very invested.
Yes, you're correct. Everybody does have their own point of view. Which is good because we can debate and discuss ! And get other peoples views and ideas on board. Nothing wrong with that unless its insulting and abusive.

And I’ve not been insulting or abusive. I don’t see the point of your post other than to have a dig 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hairfriar · 26/03/2023 14:13

Northbynorthbreast · 26/03/2023 10:43

Can I ask why you’re producing six children and on welfare? I don’t understand why you’d keep reproducing when you have neither space nor finances?

She's not on welfare. Take your dog-whistle language somewhere else.

MathsNervous · 26/03/2023 14:13

NoTouch · 26/03/2023 00:53

Such a sad situation you have choosen to put your children in. I feel really sorry for them.

Can any of the older kids move in with their dad or, if willing, a grandparent?

Another alternative is the 19 year old presents at the council as homeless. That has got to be better than living in a shed in the back garden!

If there are no bigger properties in your area can you relocate somewhere much cheaper? Although that could be another blow to your children and their education.

You cannot realistically have 6 kids, 2 just babies and others doing exams, in a 3 bed. It is just untenable.

Seriously, get a grip. Sharing a room isn't a big deal for siblings. I have four DC. Two older ones share a room, as do the younger two. They each get individual time with a parent each week.

OP is trying to find a solution. If she didn't care, she wouldn't be asking for advice.

Lots of perfect people on this thread sticking the boot in. Don't pay any attention,OP.

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

Interested in this thread?