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Original poster

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

667 replies

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 21:00

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 08:27

BlackBarbies · 26/03/2023 02:18

Twins! My Lord, hats off to you!!

I have no practical advice as it sounds quite difficult if one of your girls will struggle to share due to ASD. I’m sorry about some of the responses on this thread, people can’t help themselves.

I work with a woman who has 5 kids. Eldest is 21 and youngest is in year 3 (no clue what age that is😅) and they live in a two bedroom house. Two boys share and three girls share. She then sleeps in the living room. It’s really shit but when you can’t afford to move (we’re in Zone 2) then you have to make it work somehow.

Fingers crossed for the mutual exchange to work. It can take time but hopefully you find somewhere a bit bigger in a couple of years

I never understand this ‘I can’t afford to move’ rubbish. If you can’t afford to move, you sure as shit can’t afford more children. Children are far far far more expensive than moving.

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 08:29

Bepis · 26/03/2023 03:31

Some people don't agree with terminations and that's the reason they can't have one.

That isn’t a reason they can’t have ine, it’s a reason they won’t have one. Not the same thing at all

C152 · 26/03/2023 08:34

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:44

@Capricornone1 because we are a civilised society who should not wash our hands of our vulnerable people. Because lots of wages are not enough for people to afford a decent standard of living. Because even if we don’t agree with the parents choices we don’t turn away from the innocent children. Because as one of the riches countries in the world we should be able to offer adequate social housing as a minimum. Because the welfare state was set up to provide for people who cannot do so themselves. Because without adequate housing people will struggle to thrive and meet their potential especially children therefore continuing the cycle of poverty.

Very well said @Bookworms77 . I totally agree.

OP, I saw a thread on mumsnet a while ago with someone asking something similar and there were loads of cool room divider options suggested - many with links and photos.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/4763274-teen-boys-in-same-room-divider-ideas-experience

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_decoration_pictures/4681619-room-divider-screens

It sounds like your options are:

  1. Ask the council to be rehoused but, accepting that this probably won't happen...
  2. Ask the older girls to share and see how it goes
  3. Adapt the living room - I wouldn't lose it completely, if I were you, just look for furniture that is multi-purpose or can be disguised, like a murphy bed or sofa bed or, if the space under the sofa is hollow, use if for storing baby clothes/bedding etc.
  4. Use the outshed as a room, but this would be my last resort, as it would come with a cost to make it really habitable.

Room divider screens? | Mumsnet

Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_decoration_pictures/4681619-room-divider-screens

Interested in this thread?

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Families
LivelyBlake · 26/03/2023 08:40

I'd divide the living room for the girls
Boys keep their bedroom
Use one of the girls bedrooms as a small living room, the other one for you & babies

lovemycottage · 26/03/2023 08:41

NorthernDrizzle · 25/03/2023 22:04

Girl and Boy twins are unusual unless IVF or on fertility treatment you were very unlucky to end up with twins.

Not exactly, I was 24, conceived naturally twins, boy and girl - not IVF or fertility treatment.

berksandbeyond · 26/03/2023 08:41

I feel so sorry for these children. They didn’t choose this life of chaos - no space, time or money for them.
People need to stop being so selfish and think about the life that they’re actually able to provide. Better to have 2 kids being raised properly than 6 dragging themselves up.

OMG12 · 26/03/2023 08:42

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Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:42

OP, I saw a split bedroom solution on tik tok of all places recently. I can’t find the poster now but if you are on that platform, you can use their search facility and I’m sure you’ll get some solutions on how to split one room into 2.

berksandbeyond · 26/03/2023 08:42

And before I get flamed for not giving “practical advice”- I’d get the 19 year old to move out, on the council list I assume, as she may then have a chance at some independence. Unfortunately the others aren’t old enough to escape yet as by some miracle there’s 5 pregnancies with no one decent father amongst them!

Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:43

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What the actual fuck have I just read.

Maedan · 26/03/2023 08:45

isthewashingdryyet · 25/03/2023 21:15

Didn’t the rules change a few years ago so you only count the first two pregnancies for things like benefits and housing ? unless exceptional circumstances

and won’t the 18 year old be considered an adult and responsible for housing themselves ?

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Benefits yes, housing no.

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 08:46

Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:43

What the actual fuck have I just read.

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There is nothing wrong with @OMG12 post. It is completely reasonable.

BestBeforeDatex · 26/03/2023 08:47

.

Socrateswasrightaboutvoting · 26/03/2023 08:47

@MissMooley This one of those parody threads isnt it?

LadyEloise1 · 26/03/2023 08:49

Businessflake · 25/03/2023 22:00

Maybe you should have thought about this before deciding to get pregnant, again?

I thought that too.

LadyEloise1 · 26/03/2023 08:51

This reply has been deleted

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I wondered that also.

Knockmealdowns · 26/03/2023 08:51

What’s your attic like? Any chance of a conversion there?

OMG12 · 26/03/2023 08:51

Dibbydoos · 26/03/2023 08:04

Sorry going to be blunt, have you considered birth control? Single parent with 6 kids on the social?

What I do find strange is you never seem to end up with say,a lawyer, with 6 kids by several uninvolved fathers. Does birth control work better if you’re well off /have more qualifications

MichelleScarn · 26/03/2023 08:52

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:44

@Capricornone1 because we are a civilised society who should not wash our hands of our vulnerable people. Because lots of wages are not enough for people to afford a decent standard of living. Because even if we don’t agree with the parents choices we don’t turn away from the innocent children. Because as one of the riches countries in the world we should be able to offer adequate social housing as a minimum. Because the welfare state was set up to provide for people who cannot do so themselves. Because without adequate housing people will struggle to thrive and meet their potential especially children therefore continuing the cycle of poverty.

I absolutely understand this, but surely you must see that the general 'good will" of the tax paying public that relies on the support for this is waning when EVERYONE is being affected by COL crisis, and there will be resentment and upset from people who are working hard in NMW jobs who are sadly accepting they can't afford a 2nd child however they're meant to be all 'yay supportive' of people who are having/had child no 4,5,6 fully supported by state benefits?

KettrickenSmiled · 26/03/2023 08:53

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

You'll have to live in a shoe OP.

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?
OMG12 · 26/03/2023 08:54

Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:43

What the actual fuck have I just read.

Show quote history

Decent, practical advice as the OP wanted. What did you find particularly objectionable?

Figgygal · 26/03/2023 08:56

Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:43

What the actual fuck have I just read.

Show quote history

Not sure what's wrong with the advice? Last point Is blunt but not wrong

Stravawindow · 26/03/2023 08:57

OMG12 · 26/03/2023 08:54

Decent, practical advice as the OP wanted. What did you find particularly objectionable?

Show quote history

Did you read that the OP couldn’t terminate so you expect her just to give the kids up for adoption. She’s asking for advice on how to sort her accommodation, not terminating or adoption. She’s also explained about the fathe position.

Emmamoo89 · 26/03/2023 08:57

Chompybear · 26/03/2023 00:28

CalistoNoSolo · Yesterday 22:45
How irresponsible to have six children and be unable to house them adequately.

Exactly - sorry OP it’s not advice on housing you need but advice on contraception.

Ignore the judgey arseholes on here. I hope you get it sorted 😊

flutterbyebaby · 26/03/2023 08:58

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 08:27

I never understand this ‘I can’t afford to move’ rubbish. If you can’t afford to move, you sure as shit can’t afford more children. Children are far far far more expensive than moving.

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You need a few more 'fars' in that comment to add a bit more to the dramatic effect 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣