I’m watching an affair unfold in front of me.

[AnyoneElse1982]

I don’t usually notice this stuff. I won’t be saying a word to anyone. But I can see an affair going on. It’s a neighbour of mine.

I’m seeing him with the OW more and more. She’s a friend of a friend (hence I notice her) very attractive. I’ve just seen them in the coffee shop together now.

I feel sad for my lady neighbour. I can see that even if something hasn’t actually happened (because how would I know) her H sees this OW is a lot, I see them together most days now, neighbour is a teacher. I do an early school run so see her leave. Each morning I see her H and OW walking together when I get back. It’s entirely coincidental my timings match.

I won’t say a word, but I can see it in front of me, body language has changed over time between them.

im only putting it here because I won’t be saying a word as I can’t know for sure. But I strongly suspect. It’s not something that would bother me, just I’m seeing it out of no choice of mine unfold in front of me.

Random question does the school name have HC as initials? My husband commented on two parents at the drop offs at our primary over a year ago and I have noticed that their body language is different when there's a group compared to when just the two of them and you drive past. Just wondered if it was the same people 🤣🤣 I know the chance is slim!

As you say, when you're doing your usual daily business you start to notice little things.

cornflake
"In my experience (cheated on) nothing can stop this affair once the wheels are in motion. People are selfish and they believe they have a right to happiness, that’s how affairs flourish."

Exactly. Couldn't have put it better.
(It's still none of your business though OP)

Don't say a word OP.

She won’t. She will just watch it unfold. In front of her own eyes. But she won’t tell anyone. 👀

Why are people commenting if they think I’m unhinged.

sorry intials are not HC of the mum.

Don’t worry I’m not saying a word to anyone.

'Cool wife' was actually a phrase made popular by Gillian Flynn in her excellent book, Gone Girl.

https://www.salon.com/2019/12/26/how-the-scathing-gone-girl-rant-about-being-the-cool-girl-defined-the-decade/

Incidentally, my DP was best friends with his best friend's wife for 15 years. He too helped her during Covid when her husband (DP's friend) grew agoraphobic and refused to leave the home - would go on long walks with her so she could get a change of scene. It was always when I was working so it never bothered me. This carried on for 2.5 years until the lockdowns ended for good.

A few months later, when DP told her he was thinking of proposing to me, she drunkenly admitted romantic feelings and how she thought they'd always end up together eventually. That she'd married her husband because he was the stable option at the time (DP was a bit wild in his youth) but she always felt more connected to DP and the period of covid of long walks kicked feelings into overdrive. Apparently DP being single for most of those 15 years (until he met me) had her thinking he reciprocated her feelings....

Anyway, DP ended the friendship with her then and there. He never told his friend what happened and tries to stay in touch with him, but it's just too awkward because it's a heavy secret to carry. And DP feels guilty as to how he missed the signs, and like he betrayed his friend. Tbf I did have a vague idea she probably fancied him (given body language) but thought it just a crush she'd never act on. So I never said anything either.

Now I never judge anyone who feels concern about certain friendships. Yes, some people are just insecure and paranoid, but sometimes intuition is powerful. Opposite sex friendships can be fantastic but it would be naive to expect every single one of them is platonic from both sides.

I've already commented on this post but to all those wives saying their other halves meet other women and holiday with them, I honestly congratulate you on being so chill! If my husband said he was going away with another woman I would be fuming, not cos I thought he might be cheating but because I need a break away too and I want to have a nice break away with him, never mind someone else having one with him!

Lunch out fine but holidays nah!

Well,you changed your mind fast, it’s went from affair to just friends in the space of 6 hours 😂

Yeah that’s right laugh it up, she was getting Cheated on.

So the evidence you have for an affair is they are spending too much time together and they sit too close together.

MI6 beckons behind those net curtains.

I once said “‘Deb & Dan’ are doing it.” My older brother replied, crudely & sharply, “did you see him stick it in her?”
I admit, I had not.

Do think that there might be a reason why your DH rolls his eyes and the school mums might think it's baseless gossip OP?

Any reason at all you can think of, other than you being bored and in need of drama ?

DH wouldn’t roll his eyes. Other mums would be interested but I’m not spreading gossip. Jeez people are getting a bit het up here, I’ve definitely hit a nerve with a lot of you.

Really weird. Then again so am I, my husband is currently skiing with a group of friends and sharing an apartment with a friend of his who is a woman. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and I am definitely not a "cool wife". So I must be really weird! 😂

Just because they go for walks and coffee together it doesn't mean they're having an affair.
Christ, if that was the case then I'd be having an affair with a male friend who I walk my dog with ( he has a dog too, hence the walks )
Alongside a male friend who I go to the pub with, and another one who I do my sport with.
Oh, and my male gym buddy.
No wonder I feel shagged out by bedtime.

This.

I remember when I met my husband and after about 4 months or so of dating he asked me if he could go away somewhere for the weekend with a group of friends. I was flabberghasted and asked him why he thought he should need permission from me. He was and adult and could do exactly as he pleased. Apparently, despite no children being involved he had to ask his previous girlfriend for permission and was always declined, resulting him doing nothing for himself for most of his 20's.. Such a waste of life.

Yeah. You are being a twitchy net curtain stirrer!

Men and women being friendly? Absolutely shocker. Bring out the modest clothing and put sex segregation into law before we all rip each others clothes off in the coffee shop.

I know what you mean OP, it's not just the walking together and the coffees it's that you see their body language has changed over time. It happened with a woman in my team at work who started seeing a guy in another team - they were both married to other ppl. They thought they were so discreet, honestly people felt very differently as it's was obvious! When it happens I don't think they can help the change being noticeable unless they are a master of disguise.

Well you had your suspicions about the best friends wife which proved to be correct and that is fair enough. What I find annoying on MN is that women who have no concerns about their husbands female friends are labelled naive and blind to the reality that men and women can never be just friends - every single friendship evolves into an affair. In the real world millions of men and women have perfectly normal friendships that don’t involve jumping into bed with each other.

I find in general the perspectives on MN tend to skew towards the worst possible scenarios (see also: opening the door when not expecting a visitor, log it with 111 if you spot an unknown man sitting in a car outside your house, irresponsibly drinking at home if you are alone with DC as you might need to drive them to the hospital) and so on…

OP, I’m curious how you saw them this morning when you were out on your break whilst working from home and you then caught the train home this afternoon?

😂😂😂

I never said I was out on my break this morning. I saw them in the coffee shop this morning (next to the train station). When I’m out on my break, when I work from home I see him often working from his desk at home.

at 915 when I saw them this morning I was getting a coffee before the train.

I see them walking most days. Early morning I see his wife go to work she’s a teacher.

This morning I did an early drop off as I was going into the office and getting the train.

hope that helps!!

Sometimes I see him early as he’s taking his kids to wraparound. Then when I come back from my school run I see him with OW. Sometimes just outside their house chatting.