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Original poster

Horrible Instructor at gym class

91 replies

MonZb · 20/03/2023 17:34

Can anyone please advise how to deal with how this fitness instructor treats me and has made me feel?

I am an overweight 40 something and have recently joined a six session group fitness course at a local gym and every other week the sessions are taken by an instructor who for whatever reason doesn't like me.

On the first session, out of 10 attendees, seemingly forgetting I am a beginner and new at this gym she only "picked" on me, criticising almost everything I did.

She also took a session at the weekend and kept berating me, making me look and feel stupid. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, towards the end of the class we were doing an exercise involving reps. She was stood at the side of the room watching us, particularly me. She came over to me at the end and quietly asked how many reps I'd just done on the last round, I told her 12, she said "you were only supposed to do 10". I felt completely stupid.

Then once we had left in our cars she gave way to me as I was pulling out, but drove up really quickly behind me and tailgated me for a good mile or so until I turned off. It was quite stressful and I don't know why she wanted to intimidate me.

I really don't want to go to the next few sessions, even though she won't be taking the next one.

I feel stupid, clumsy and like I'm not good enough. It's almost like she doesn't like overweight older attendees. Never been made to feel like this before at any gym or by any fitness instructor.

OP posts:
MarnieDg · 20/03/2023 17:37

I'm sorry OP.

I left a similar situation last year, very intimidating female instructor. I don't know if she thought I needed tough love or what but it completely put me off, I complained and got a full refund. I just found the whole drill Sargent thing humiliating.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 20/03/2023 17:38

I would complain, totally out of order

And don't give up, keep going, don't let her put you off

Seamstressfortheband · 20/03/2023 17:46

It's ok. You're being paranoid.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Exercise & fitness Fitness
beachruns · 20/03/2023 17:49

The driving thing might have been a total coincidence. In that she drives badly anyway.

I left a bootcamp for similar reasons although I'm not unfit. I just hated the guy shouting. Horrible style.

I have feedback but was obviously written off as a wet blanket 🤷🏻‍♀️

AdaColeman · 20/03/2023 17:50

Complain to the owner of the gym, no staff should be treating a client like that. Ask for a refund of your fees if you have paid in advance.

Mamette · 20/03/2023 17:55

She probably tailgated you because she’s a shit driver, I doubt she was trying to intimidate you.

Keep going and just tune her out as much as possible.

Delatron · 20/03/2023 18:09

Complain to the gym about her. They employ her so should be appalled to hear she is making their clients feel like that.

Are there any other classes you enjoy? I’d just switch. The quality of instructors vary but she sounds very rude. There will be nicer/better ones there.

Original poster
MonZb · 20/03/2023 18:45

Seamstressfortheband · 20/03/2023 17:46

It's ok. You're being paranoid.

@Seamstressfortheband no, I'm not being paranoid.

OP posts:
Original poster
MonZb · 20/03/2023 18:47

Delatron · 20/03/2023 18:09

Complain to the gym about her. They employ her so should be appalled to hear she is making their clients feel like that.

Are there any other classes you enjoy? I’d just switch. The quality of instructors vary but she sounds very rude. There will be nicer/better ones there.

I will go back to my usual gym. Really wish I hadn't signed up to this particular one, even though it's only a short course.

She and the gym owner are quite pally, so not sure if complaining will do any good.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 20/03/2023 18:51

Has she said absolutely nothing to anyone else for those sessions?

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2023 18:58

I'm in two minds OP. You may be correct in your assessment - you were the one there of course

But ...

I do a lot of classes, and have for many years and:

she only "picked" on me, criticising almost everything I did.

It could be that she was addressing your technique. It's so important and many instructors don't do this enough for new people.

She came over to me at the end and quietly asked how many reps I'd just done on the last round, I told her 12, she said "you were only supposed to do 10". I felt completely stupid.

I can see anything wrong with this - she's making sure you do the sets correctly. She asked you quietly.

Of course, if you are feeling uncomfortable that's not great regardless. And maybe she is treating you differently.

But it could also you overthinking it; I often see new joiners looking embarrassed and uncertain even tho there's no judgment at all.

I don't know what to say about the driving - that sounds completely far-fetched.

twirlbite · 20/03/2023 18:59

Would you feel able to have a private word with her? I had a yoga teacher just like that - I emailed her, telling her why I was cancelling at the end of my block of classes. She did improve ( but I joined another gym anyway).
Maybe worth a try?

GyozaGuiting · 20/03/2023 19:01

What is she actually saying to you? Feedback on technique?
Saying you did more reps could have been her just stating for next time it’s 10.
I can’t say this would bother me.

Nagado · 20/03/2023 19:03

Treat her how you’d treat a bully in the workplace. Stop what you’re doing, give her a hard stare (with raised eyebrow if you can) and in a loud, confident voice, ask her if there is a problem, because you’re trying very hard to improve your health and fitness and she appears to be trying very hard to make the whole process as unpleasant as possible. Most bullies are cowards who rely on people not standing up to them and if you call her out on her behaviour, she’s likely to back right down.

She’s nothing to be intimidated by. She doesn’t pay your wages. She doesn’t influence your friends or family and she has no control over your life. She’s just some arsehole who is trying to make herself feel better by being horrible to someone she thinks is ‘weaker’ than her. And she’s a shit driver. You’re paying her to provide you with a service. You wouldn’t accept this crap from a plumber or a carpet fitter. She’s not on some higher astral plain that entitles her to talk to you like shit. Fuck her off.

Also, the manager of the gym might be pally with her, but if you tell her that you want a refund and will be leaving a negative review, she’s going to be concerned. It’s her livelihood. No service business in the UK can afford to be turning away customers right now.

LynetteScavo · 20/03/2023 19:05

She sounds horrible. I would give feedback to the manager. Gym classes are supposed to be enjoyable. I've known instructors give feedback, but it's always been in a kind, cheery way.

The driving thing is insane. I'd raise that directly with the instructor. I'd tell her I'd happily slam my breaks on if she tried driving g like that again.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2023 19:06

@Nagado

Terrible advice.

If indeed this instructor is definitely targeting OP (and I'm unconvinced), OP will look ridiculous doing hard stares / loud voice & being bull-headed. Everyone will literally stop & stare & OP is likely to feel worse.

Instead she should talk to her privately and say how she feels. Take it from there.

Fizzadora · 20/03/2023 19:07

All the gym bunnies on here think you are lying OP.

mamnotmum · 20/03/2023 19:12

Quit if it isn't for you.

But some of it may be in your head because you are anxious about the whole situation. It doesn't matter either way - if you are uncomfortable it isn't worth it. Leave and do something else. X

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2023 19:13

Fizzadora · 20/03/2023 19:07

All the gym bunnies on here think you are lying OP.

Who said OP was lying?

I merely offered an alternative view - but of course I wasn't there so OP could be correct.

HeavyHeidi · 20/03/2023 19:15

I also think the tailgating might be because she's a shit driver. And she pointed out quietly that you managed more reps than you had to, I would hear this as a compliment, why would it make you feel stupid? She didn't point and laugh, did she?
'Picked' on you or paid you more attention exactly because you're new, so she tried to help you to do the exercises correctly? Decent instructors would always give extra attention to newbies.
How about, instead of hard stares and eyebrows, you tell her that her attention actually made you unfomfortable and could she pull back a bit? She might not realise that you're taking a class, with an instructor present, but do not want to be noticed or corrected.

Mojoj · 20/03/2023 19:15

Challenge her directly. Tell her you feel like she's deliberately targeting you and it's not on. And as for the tailgating, she's probably just a shit driver. Hang in there. Getting fit and healthy is way too important to let a bully get in your way!

Irridescantshimmmer · 20/03/2023 19:17

Make a note of every incident which has occurred and complain to the gyms' managenent because she has no right to berate you in such a patronising and bi*&hy way.

I suspect shes' on a power trip and is just point scoring against you for no nother reason but that she thinks she can.

She may also be trying to undermine your confidence as some people like leeching off others like that.

You bounce back, and do as many reps as you want, theres no law against that.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2023 19:24

do as many reps as you want, theres no law against that.

That's wrong, and stupid.

It's really important to do the reps you are meant to. Particularly as a novice, if you overdo it, you'll at a minimum overwork the muscle & can be left really fatigued (not able to use those muscles temporarily) and more seriously, could injure yourself.

OP, don't pay attention to ill-informed posts like this please.

HoneyPotBee · 20/03/2023 19:46

Complain to the gym. There was an instructor like that at a gym I went to a few years ago. She had a reputation and people would even avoid her class. Customers started to complain and management had a word with her. Her attitude changed over night so she knew exactly what she was doing.

She seemed to like me but I witnessed what she was like with others and it was horrible.

HoneyPotBee · 20/03/2023 19:49

I forgot to say please don’t give up OP. You have done so well by booking the sessions and going to the class. Don’t let this instructor put you off.