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Original poster

Horrible Instructor at gym class

91 replies

MonZb · 20/03/2023 17:34

Can anyone please advise how to deal with how this fitness instructor treats me and has made me feel?

I am an overweight 40 something and have recently joined a six session group fitness course at a local gym and every other week the sessions are taken by an instructor who for whatever reason doesn't like me.

On the first session, out of 10 attendees, seemingly forgetting I am a beginner and new at this gym she only "picked" on me, criticising almost everything I did.

She also took a session at the weekend and kept berating me, making me look and feel stupid. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, towards the end of the class we were doing an exercise involving reps. She was stood at the side of the room watching us, particularly me. She came over to me at the end and quietly asked how many reps I'd just done on the last round, I told her 12, she said "you were only supposed to do 10". I felt completely stupid.

Then once we had left in our cars she gave way to me as I was pulling out, but drove up really quickly behind me and tailgated me for a good mile or so until I turned off. It was quite stressful and I don't know why she wanted to intimidate me.

I really don't want to go to the next few sessions, even though she won't be taking the next one.

I feel stupid, clumsy and like I'm not good enough. It's almost like she doesn't like overweight older attendees. Never been made to feel like this before at any gym or by any fitness instructor.

OP posts:

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 10:51

Coffeetree · 21/03/2023 07:53

I teach fitness classes part-time. Part of my job is to give people pointers on form and to challenge them, but the instructor has got to read the room (and the person) to keep it positive. For instance, I never give a correction without finishing with something like, "Yes, that's loads better, well done". If someone is new I don't correct them too much, I just want them to be comfortable and come back.

That said ive seen some instructors who scream and yell and just aren't very personable. And some people thrive on that, like they think they're getting a better workout because there's a lot of yelling going on or they want to be in the "in-group". I knew a Pilates teacher who was shockingly snooty and downright rude and her classes were packed. Smh

Vote with your feet OP. Just leave and tell the management you felt like you were just getting harangued.

And the driving thing--don't worry about it. She's either a crap driver or was messing with you. Her problem either way.

Really good post.

Tibbb · 21/03/2023 13:05

Catspyjamas17 · 21/03/2023 08:10

Quite.

Show quote history

I agree.

Tibbb · 21/03/2023 13:09

HeavyHeidi · 21/03/2023 08:30

This is yet another thread where MNetters excuse bullying behaviour.

Well OP hasn't exlained what the instructor actually said that 'made her feel stupid'. All she has mentioned is that she was criticizing (so correcting?) what OP did and told her how many reps she should do. That's not bullying but instructor doing her job.

What was the point of the instructor, at the end of the class, telling the OP she did too many reps, unless the instructor wanted to make OP feel useless?

Why was the instructor only targeting OP and making friendly conversation with the other class attendees?

Stinks of bullying to me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Exercise & fitness Fitness

Delatron · 21/03/2023 14:08

I’m an instructor - I like to think I’m friendly and welcoming. It’s Pilates so I have to correct as that is the difference between using the correct muscles or not but I do it in a gentle, encouraging way.

I would never question the amount of reps anyone was doing as that doesn’t matter if it’s a few either way! I most certainly wouldn’t take them aside to ask. I normally count down the reps but if people aren’t listening they may end up doing a few more - no big deal! I also tell people to rest if they feel tired so they could end up doing less reps.

OP - it just sounds like she’s not the instructor for you. I hope you can find a new class you enjoy with an encouraging instructor. I hope some of the replies on here haven’t put you off. I’ve had some awful
instructors in my time!

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 21/03/2023 14:14

I would speak to her at the end of class and tell her that I didn't want her feedback. That I'm there to do my best and the criticism/feedback is not helping.

You've paid to be there and you don't owe her anything.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 14:21

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 21/03/2023 14:14

I would speak to her at the end of class and tell her that I didn't want her feedback. That I'm there to do my best and the criticism/feedback is not helping.

You've paid to be there and you don't owe her anything.

It's not ok to tell an instructor you 'don't want feedback'.

Of course how it's given matters. But an instructor has a responsibility to make sure everyone is exercising correctly & safely.

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 21/03/2023 14:36

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 14:21

It's not ok to tell an instructor you 'don't want feedback'.

Of course how it's given matters. But an instructor has a responsibility to make sure everyone is exercising correctly & safely.

Show quote history

Its absolutely ok if her 'feedback' is nothing more than disguised bullying. It's not as though she is correcting her form, she is counting her reps and giving unconstructive criticism. Nothing the OP has mentioned seems to be indicative of the trainer correcting her for safety or form - she said she was "berated". The OP has paid for that class and absolutely has the right to tell the instructor that her 'advice' is not welcome, in its current format, at least.

LookingOldTheseDays · 21/03/2023 14:43

The OP hasn't actually said what this "berating" consisted of though. We don't know what the instructor actually said.

IndianaJoanna · 21/03/2023 14:43

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2023 19:06

@Nagado

Terrible advice.

If indeed this instructor is definitely targeting OP (and I'm unconvinced), OP will look ridiculous doing hard stares / loud voice & being bull-headed. Everyone will literally stop & stare & OP is likely to feel worse.

Instead she should talk to her privately and say how she feels. Take it from there.

I totally disagree with you. Hard stares and calling out bad behaviour WORKS. Bullies are cowards. Having a "private" word does nothing but enables the behaviour.

SFG112112 · 21/03/2023 15:06

Other than to deliberately upset OP, it looks like there was no reason for the instructor to watch OP like a hawk and to then come up to her at the end of class to ask her how many reps she'd done and then tell her she'd done too many.

What on earth was the point in doing that?

Plus the instructor's driving points towards her being an intimidating bully.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 15:07

Its absolutely ok if her 'feedback' is nothing more than disguised bullying.

Yes. As I've said. And if it is. There's nothing so far from OP that makes this clear

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 15:09

Hard stares and calling out bad behaviour WORKS. Bullies are cowards. Having a "private" word does nothing but enables the behaviour.

Depends on the context.

Firstly it's not clear there is bullying happening (there might be)

Secondly as I said in that environment it would likely be OP that would be mortified. Everyone would stare - at OP, not the instructor. It's unlikely to feel good for OP

Zola1 · 21/03/2023 15:13

My first thoughts.. when I first went back to the gym after a few years off due to work and young kids, I did a circuits class and the female instructor was very loud and bouncy. She corrected my form a few times and I felt embarrassed and picked on.. on reflection, I just had bad form as I'd never done some or the movements before. I wonder whether she is just making sure your form is correct so that you learn properly rather than learning twice. I don't think she would have anything to gain from being mean to you. Also suggest she's prob a bad driver.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 21/03/2023 17:10

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 15:09

Hard stares and calling out bad behaviour WORKS. Bullies are cowards. Having a "private" word does nothing but enables the behaviour.

Depends on the context.

Firstly it's not clear there is bullying happening (there might be)

Secondly as I said in that environment it would likely be OP that would be mortified. Everyone would stare - at OP, not the instructor. It's unlikely to feel good for OP

Agree @EarringsandLipstick - ‘hard stares’ and ‘loud voices’ in something like a Pilates class would be completely mortifying.

And either you’re a hard stare / loud voice person, or you’re not.

I’m pretty sure the OP is not. If she were, she’d have done the routine, surely.

OP - vote with your feet. It’s not the class for you, so go elsewhere.

I’m not convinced she’s done anything wrong, but you think she has, so leave and go elsewhere.

No big deal, surely.

KatharinaRosalie · 21/03/2023 18:07

I'm an instructor and if a client told me not to give them any feedback, I would have to politely suggest they find another activity. It's my responsibility to make sure people are exercising safely and not injuring themselves, which is a real risk with people who are new to the specific activity.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 21/03/2023 19:16

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 21/03/2023 14:14

I would speak to her at the end of class and tell her that I didn't want her feedback. That I'm there to do my best and the criticism/feedback is not helping.

You've paid to be there and you don't owe her anything.

Ever heard of health and safety?

Whose fault will it be, if the OP hurts or injures herself?

God, who’d gone to any sort of teaching / training / instructing - it’s totally not worth it. From someone who hasn’t been near a gym in years……

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