Horrible Instructor at gym class

[MonZb]

Can anyone please advise how to deal with how this fitness instructor treats me and has made me feel?

I am an overweight 40 something and have recently joined a six session group fitness course at a local gym and every other week the sessions are taken by an instructor who for whatever reason doesn't like me.

On the first session, out of 10 attendees, seemingly forgetting I am a beginner and new at this gym she only "picked" on me, criticising almost everything I did.

She also took a session at the weekend and kept berating me, making me look and feel stupid. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, towards the end of the class we were doing an exercise involving reps. She was stood at the side of the room watching us, particularly me. She came over to me at the end and quietly asked how many reps I'd just done on the last round, I told her 12, she said "you were only supposed to do 10". I felt completely stupid.

Then once we had left in our cars she gave way to me as I was pulling out, but drove up really quickly behind me and tailgated me for a good mile or so until I turned off. It was quite stressful and I don't know why she wanted to intimidate me.

I really don't want to go to the next few sessions, even though she won't be taking the next one.

I feel stupid, clumsy and like I'm not good enough. It's almost like she doesn't like overweight older attendees. Never been made to feel like this before at any gym or by any fitness instructor.

Trust your instincts OP - you know what’s going on. You’re on the receiving end of something that doesn’t make you feel supported, encouraged or motivated, and whatever her reasons are for doing that you don’t have to put up with it. I second speaking to the gym manager and asking to swap to another set of sessions or get a refund - she might be pally with the instructor but you’re the customer, and if she’s got any sense she’ll want to keep you. You’re doing brilliantly, don’t let someone like her get in your way of achieving your goal

@EarringsandLipstick You might think my advice is terrible and you’re perfectly entitled to do so. I think yours is terrible advice. Talk to the person who is intimidating you in private so nobody stares at you and ask them to stop being mean to you? Or take a deep breath and show her that you’re not prepared to be spoken to in that way, by anyone? I’m not suggesting she insults her or shouts at her; there’s a world of difference between a strong confident voice and a facial expression confirming that you don’t find the situation acceptable, and a screaming harridan slamming exercise equipment around.

But that’s how a forum works. Lots of different people with different life experiences, give their opinions and the OP chooses which, if any, suit her best.

Was it marketed as a boot camp style class or similar. Being 'hard' might be part of the style of the class.

If you've paid for six sessions and she is doing half of them and she has already done two classes then there is only one more with her, so just skip it. At the end of the last one tell the manager that you would only consider booking similar again if X wasn't taking the class as her poor interpersonal skills really put you off.

I think your over thinking it. As a teacher myself I don't see what she did wrong in pulling you aside and giving you corrections. It's what a good teacher does, your new to the case. As for the tailgating it sounds like you were driving slow. You clearly don't like her and it doesn't sound like a right fit.

This.

I think this is to do with you having low self esteem tbh. I suspect the instructor is trying to correct your form.

And so what if she said you were only supposed to do 10?

Re the tailgating, I was doing 30mph in a 30mph zone. How is that slow?

No it wasn't marketed as 'boot camp' style or similar. More a friendly course open to all abilities.

Definitely considering skipping the next session she is doing and never going back to this gym.

@SirChenjins thank you.

No criticism, no. Just friendly chats and praise. I on the other hand have been singled out and humiliated.

100% THIS...

The problem is a lot of instructors have a following blowing smoke up there arse and massive egos
be straight with her saying only come to get out of the house
please keep going if not just to piss her off
You’ve paid your money make her work for hers ask her for modifications

tbh I’ve been to classes for years and people notice when instructors behave like this just makes them look a twat not you

When you say you were singled out and humiliated - can you explain in what way?

I don't go to gyms really, but I do a pilates class and the instructor does go around correcting form. When someone's a beginner, they might be corrected more, as they learn the correct postures etc, but it's not about humiliation, it's about doing it properly. None of the other attendees judges, because we were all that newbie once.

The example you gave about her saying quietly that you only needed to do 10 reps doesn't sound inappropriate or harsh of her.

You obviously don't enjoy her classes, and for that reason I wouldn't continue with them. It's not a good fit. But you haven't said what exactly she is doing wrong here.

I don't know what gyms some of you lot go to, but the instructors are there to help you.

They SHOULD be correcting your form and pointing out where you can improve. The first few times you go and they point things out to you, yes it's a bit awkward and you feel like "everyone else knows what they're doing, but me" but once you keep at it, you improve.

Throwing the towel in and taking it personally is not the way forward OP.

It's hard to say really without knowing exactly what she did to single you out and said that humiliated you.

It could be as others have said, that she is correcting your firm.

Or, she could just be a total bitch!

Sure - I agree we are entitled to different views.

But I do a lot of gym classes. Your advice would be mortifying for all and is not needed - there are other options.

It also assumes OP is right in her assessment of the instructor and I'm not sure that's the case (though of course feeling uncomfortable isn't good, regardless).

This is yet another thread where MNetters excuse bullying behaviour. It does make me wonder how many posters are nasty like this in RL.

Don't go again. Life's too short to have 1970s PE teachers in it. I wouldn't care about losing the money, even. There are far better instructors out there. Find something and someone that suits you.

Mostly these days I exercise alone and don't need guidance at 47 after going to a gym since I was 18, except for yoga classes, where a kind and empathetic teacher is absolutely key. Going to good yoga classes made me realise how rubbish and masochistic most other exercise classes are.

Ask her if they’re us a reason she is being so unpleasant to you. Call her out.

You still haven’t told us what she said or did to you ‘humiliate’ you? Until you do that I don’t know what advice you expect us to give you? From where I’m standing it sounds more like she’s been trying to correct your form which is the norm in all fitness classes I’ve ever been to because if your not doing it right then you could potentially injure yourself.

You can tell when people don't like you and most of the time it's their issue not yours. There was one yoga teacher who several times in class accused me of not paying in front of everyone, and I always had, when she checked her records afterwards and always sent me an apologetic message after. She never did this with anyone else. While the yoga teaching was good, this scattiness and accusation upset me - the opposite of what I wanted from the class. She'd also make little jibes with a tinkly laugh, "Oh catspyjamas, you're in child pose already. You're always ahead of us!" I couldn't help comparing her with my other teacher who would never do this in a million years.

You are being paranoid. She made a simple statement.

She won't have recognised you from behind in the car. She just seems a bad driver

In a million years, I wouldn't think that these things were jibes or in anyway off AT ALL!

I'd someone said that to me I'd know I'd paid, so couldn't care less what she said about it. And she's just commenting on you knowing what's coming next with the child's pose thing...so what?!

I teach fitness classes part-time. Part of my job is to give people pointers on form and to challenge them, but the instructor has got to read the room (and the person) to keep it positive. For instance, I never give a correction without finishing with something like, "Yes, that's loads better, well done". If someone is new I don't correct them too much, I just want them to be comfortable and come back.

That said ive seen some instructors who scream and yell and just aren't very personable. And some people thrive on that, like they think they're getting a better workout because there's a lot of yelling going on or they want to be in the "in-group". I knew a Pilates teacher who was shockingly snooty and downright rude and her classes were packed. Smh

Vote with your feet OP. Just leave and tell the management you felt like you were just getting harangued.

And the driving thing--don't worry about it. She's either a crap driver or was messing with you. Her problem either way.

Rather than lose any money how about going to her just before the class starts and saying you’re just there to enjoy yourself so she needn’t coach you “just forget I’m here” with a smile and steely eyes. Then she should leave you alone while knowing you think she’s an arsehole

She I obviously crap gym instructor,

Your gym instructor is thick as shit really as its obviously quite off putting ,
Plus their other gym instructors you can sign up with who will proberly be better,

Stupid woman instructor,

If you were OK about being shouted and berated,
You would have signed up to join the Army or some other like minded Military 🪖 type Assoc,