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Original poster

Horrible Instructor at gym class

91 replies

MonZb · 20/03/2023 17:34

Can anyone please advise how to deal with how this fitness instructor treats me and has made me feel?

I am an overweight 40 something and have recently joined a six session group fitness course at a local gym and every other week the sessions are taken by an instructor who for whatever reason doesn't like me.

On the first session, out of 10 attendees, seemingly forgetting I am a beginner and new at this gym she only "picked" on me, criticising almost everything I did.

She also took a session at the weekend and kept berating me, making me look and feel stupid. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, towards the end of the class we were doing an exercise involving reps. She was stood at the side of the room watching us, particularly me. She came over to me at the end and quietly asked how many reps I'd just done on the last round, I told her 12, she said "you were only supposed to do 10". I felt completely stupid.

Then once we had left in our cars she gave way to me as I was pulling out, but drove up really quickly behind me and tailgated me for a good mile or so until I turned off. It was quite stressful and I don't know why she wanted to intimidate me.

I really don't want to go to the next few sessions, even though she won't be taking the next one.

I feel stupid, clumsy and like I'm not good enough. It's almost like she doesn't like overweight older attendees. Never been made to feel like this before at any gym or by any fitness instructor.

OP posts:

WeCome1 · 21/03/2023 08:05

It’s an awful feeling being in a class and told you are not doing it right to the extent that you just feel you are crap.

What sort of thing did she say?

If you do complain to the owner I would explain exactly what she said or they might just dismiss it.

Catspyjamas17 · 21/03/2023 08:09

Dacadactyl · 21/03/2023 07:47

In a million years, I wouldn't think that these things were jibes or in anyway off AT ALL!

I'd someone said that to me I'd know I'd paid, so couldn't care less what she said about it. And she's just commenting on you knowing what's coming next with the child's pose thing...so what?!

Show quote history

We're all different I guess, and you were not in the room. It's always unprofessional to say "You haven't paid" in front of everyone, especially if you are wrong, and to do this several times over a few weeks, that's just scatty and absolutely crap. And I can tell after 47 years of life experience when someone is being a bitch and when they are having a laugh. Anyway I'm just not prepared to give someone I'm paying £12 a class to for a certain experience the benefit of the doubt if they don't meet expectations. I could do an Adrienne video or make my own yoga up at home, or go to class run by my other excellent yoga teachers. I don't need a silly, scatty bitch telling me I haven't paid and making daft comments.

Catspyjamas17 · 21/03/2023 08:10

LynetteScavo · 21/03/2023 07:24

This is yet another thread where MNetters excuse bullying behaviour. It does make me wonder how many posters are nasty like this in RL.

Quite.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Exercise & fitness Fitness

Undecicive · 21/03/2023 08:15

I'd love to hear what exactly she said to you.

Soproudoflionesses · 21/03/2023 08:16

Leave and tell them why.

Coffeetree · 21/03/2023 08:18

No I agree, talking about payment in front of others is weird. I once showed up for a new yoga class, looked around for a way to pay (the website said it was cash only) and didn't see anyone at the desk. Set up my mat and started warming up. Instructor arrived late and flustered, started class, big group, no one else seemed to be handing over cash or putting money anywhere, I thought, okay I'll hand him his cash on the way out rather than interrupt him. As we're in downward dog he comes over to me and says, "Have you paid?" very loudly. I sort of looked around and said, "I didn't really see where..."

And he literally said, "Could you pay now?"

I stopped, got out my cash, handed it to him, and left.

I still don't know what I missed. Maybe there was a cash box or something. Just mortifying.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/03/2023 08:22

We obvo weren't there, and only you know, but if I was new to a class, in a way I'd love to be 'picked on'. In fact what happened to you is possibly what happened to me when I first started Pilates. I did everything wrong and almost every posture she asked me to change something. I LOVED it. One to one attention to get my technique right at the very beginning on a group class price. I gave brilliant feedback to the centre at the end to thank the instructor for taking so much time with me.

HeavyHeidi · 21/03/2023 08:30

This is yet another thread where MNetters excuse bullying behaviour.

Well OP hasn't exlained what the instructor actually said that 'made her feel stupid'. All she has mentioned is that she was criticizing (so correcting?) what OP did and told her how many reps she should do. That's not bullying but instructor doing her job.

SparkyBlue · 21/03/2023 08:33

The OP is an adult. I'm very sure she'd appreciate and be delighted with constructive help. It's not normal or expected to leave an exercise class feeling crap. I'd look elsewhere OP. I wouldn't say the driving thing was deliberate but it's just an another indication of her not so lovely personality.

pd339 · 21/03/2023 08:34

An important part of the instructor's role is to help you do things properly with good form to avoid injury. Newbies often therefore feel "picked on", but it's normally nothing of the sort, but literally just them doing their job.

Catspyjamas17 · 21/03/2023 08:39

That's not bullying but instructor doing her job.

Were you in the room? It very much depends how it is done.

The tailgating thing is pretty indicative of her delightful personality.

HeavyHeidi · 21/03/2023 08:44

Were you in the room? It very much depends how it is done.

Indeed, that's why I said we don't know what was actually said. However, if OP is considering instructor quietly telling her that 10 reps is enough "making her feel completely stupid", it seems likely that the rest of the 'bullying' was similar.

teezletangler · 21/03/2023 08:52

It's so difficult to interpret from your description OP whether she is nasty or its a personality conflict. Was she just correcting your form, or was it done in a rude manner? My fitness instructor spends a lot of time on form as she believes it's paramount, and if there is someone new she obviously spends more time with them. It's done in a supportive way, but I suppose it could be interpreted as critical by some people.

The key is probably their manner, same with the comment about the reps. Our instructor is constantly giving us a hard time about reps etc but it's always jokey and done with love.

Regardless, don't go back to a class that is making you feel uncomfortable!

DecayedStrumpet · 21/03/2023 09:10

I'm on the fence about this too - part time fitness instructor and i always find it a massive dilemma with a new person. If they're getting every exercise wrong, do you keep correcting them and risk making them feel bad, or let it slide and risk them getting injured?

Like previous poster said, I usually follow up the correction with an 'awesome!' if they've improved, or if they just keep doing the same thing I have to go for 'great work! Focus on that <whatever> as we go through'
And I always smile of course 😇

MonZb, can you give us an example of what she said, or was it more how she said it?

arethereanyleftatall · 21/03/2023 09:28

This is yet another example of teachers just cannot win.

They need to be absolute mind readers and adapt their personality to suit every single clients wants. They need to give loads of feedback to those who want it, which they should magically know which ones, and nothing to those who would rather continue doing exercises incorrectly. They can't say anything wrong ever. Probably for about £15 per hour.

As a teacher in a different area, I would consider myself very very lazy to not correct someone's form, and my personality is my personality. Some like my style, some don't.

If you don't like it op, then don't go to this class. As it was busy, it's safe to assume others do.

KatharinaRosalie · 21/03/2023 09:59

They need to give loads of feedback to those who want it, which they should magically know which ones, and nothing to those who would rather continue doing exercises incorrectly

But also, they will get blamed if someone injures themselves due to their incorrect form.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 21/03/2023 10:05

Honestly, it sounds like she was just trying to teach you form and technique - that's her job. The driving could be that she's a crap driver or you're being a bit paranoid about it. Either way, it doesn't sound like you mesh well together so leaving is likely you're best option.

Tontostitis · 21/03/2023 10:17

I think you are misreading the situation

arethereanyleftatall · 21/03/2023 10:19

Absolutely @KatharinaRosalie

LookingOldTheseDays · 21/03/2023 10:24

KatharinaRosalie · 21/03/2023 09:59

They need to give loads of feedback to those who want it, which they should magically know which ones, and nothing to those who would rather continue doing exercises incorrectly

But also, they will get blamed if someone injures themselves due to their incorrect form.

It's also not just about potential injury. The OP is presumably paying for the class because she wants to benefit from it. With a lot of classes, you only get full benefit from the exercises if you do them correctly.

Tibbb · 21/03/2023 10:36

The amount of victim blaming on this thread is typical of MN.

It is clear that the instructor is a bully and singled out OP.

Enthrallingstoryofmoonlight · 21/03/2023 10:38

No one wants to feel humiliated though, correcting someone positively is very different from making them feel rubbish, it's a real skill

LookingOldTheseDays · 21/03/2023 10:42

Tibbb · 21/03/2023 10:36

The amount of victim blaming on this thread is typical of MN.

It is clear that the instructor is a bully and singled out OP.

But the only concrete example the OP has given is the instructor quietly saying that she only needed to do 10 reps.

And the OP said that innocuous comment made her feel "completely stupid". It sounds like a disproportionate reaction.

WeAreTheHeroes · 21/03/2023 10:47

Fizzadora · 20/03/2023 19:07

All the gym bunnies on here think you are lying OP.

Gym bunnies? Why do some women think it's okay to refer to others using derogatory terms?

OP, maybe you are feeling very self conscious so having your form corrected makes you feel picked on, but more likely this younger woman needs to work on her manner not to make people feel like that. I had a similar experience with a step aerobics instructor many years ago. I was in another country and she was definitely picking on me. I left the gym and in hindsight wish I had never moved from the little backstreet place I lived closed to to this glossy new place.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2023 10:51

LynetteScavo · 21/03/2023 07:24

This is yet another thread where MNetters excuse bullying behaviour. It does make me wonder how many posters are nasty like this in RL.

Or ... acknowledge it as possibility while offering a valid alternative view?

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