Just read yet another thread where women have been upset by husbands “ruining” Mother’s Day for posters. So much disappointment, dissatisfaction and hurt being discussed
when I was young Mother’s Day was not the commercialised as it is now. I don’t remember any fathers doing stuff for his wife as his children’s mother. Usually it was schools and Sunday schools, particularly, that got kids to make a mothers day card, or encouraged kids to pick some flowers (ok, we had less regard for picking wild flowers back then🤦♀️) . That was it. Only involved kids that were old enough to do something for their mums under a steer from school or church. The main things for mums was Mothering Sunday church service - that wasn’t driven by dads , but by tradition and the church. In some churches mums got a small bunch of daffs to recognise their efforts whether they were new mums, Grans or whatever
up until relatively recently most dads would play little or no part until Sunday service. And certainly not be buying gifts or doing cards on behalf of babies who can’t hold a pencil yet. Mums didn’t get a day off. Often there was a bigger family roast on Sunday - I do remember though an expectation that the blokes would do the washing up to give mum a rest. But it certainly never was a “special all day” for mums to relax and not do anything with dads doing everything and all.
yes, there would have been exceptions . Some dads would have given mum a cuppa in bed etc. but that wasn’t the norm .
we all know the vast majority of men do not do the emotional labour regarding social celebrations and family rituals. A lot used to be part of a social calander through churches who upheld these traditions. But church no longer plays that role in most of our lives. I’m quite convinced that left to men we’d have abandoned birthday celebrations and Xmas years ago, when most people stopped going to church.
why are so many women setting themselves up for a fall here. Yep, there are men who will recognise and do lovely things for the “mums” in their lives including their own wives, but a lot of men are just doing the minimum or nothing in accordance with what they do for all the other traditions in the house. If you remember all the birthdays, do most of Xmas , why would you then be disappointed your husband does sod all for Mother’s Day for you.
im not saying it’s right. But I think there’s a lot of heart ache here from having very unreal expectations of Mother’s Day. It was a church service . It was a way of getting bums on seats in a church and therefore money in donation coffers (ok, bit cynical but true) .