Why do people enjoy giving little children junk food?

[Tietheapron]

I am very much in favour of balance in all areas. DS is two. At the moment, we haven’t got a massively fussy stage - there’s a handful of things he doesn’t seem too keen on and I imagine this will probably expand as he gets a bit older before then (hopefully!) getting a bit more variety. So to give an example, on Thursday he had porridge for breakfast and then a rich tea biscuit at a music group we go to in the morning. Then had to go into the bank so he had to go in the pushchair - had a banana to keep him quiet! As a result all he wanted for lunch was maybe half a ham sandwich and a few baby crisps. Then homemade pizza with veg on for tea. I’m explaining this so it’s clear I don’t completely raise him on fruit grown from the garden and eggs from our own chickens.

But then this morning he ate a bowl of shreddies and then DH gave him a biscuit, actually going in the kitchen to get him one (so not like DS found them and hoovered one up.) Visit PIL and they try to ply him with mars bars and ice creams, big ones for adults. (We don’t see PIL often, not for this reason as they are actually lovely people but they aren’t local.) Brother came to see DS and took him for a walk in the park, ignored the water bottle and bought him a fruit shoot and fruit pastilles.

I don’t want to sound like a neurotic mum here and I’m sure plenty of people will say to get a grip, I’m lucky people are nice to DS but I suppose this is my question really - why does kindness and love have to be shown through food? Isn’t it enough to go to the park with him, to read to him, play in the garden (they do this too!)

I hate sounding like a killjoy but I really don’t want him associating everyone but me with junk food!

My kid had 6 chocolate biscuits yesterday.

He also ran around for 2 hours at soft play, scooted for an hour on a walk and did a gymnastics class.

I also ate 6 chocolate biscuits but did none of the above.

A rich tea biscuit really isn't that much of a treat

I think with other people giving him food (other than your DP because you should be able to agree on the basics of parenting) you need to choose either the “it’s an occasional treat it won’t kill him” route, or the “I don’t want my kid eating rubbish, I have explained my viewpoint and I expect you to respect it” route. The second one will obviously cause you more grief, I personally think either viewpoint is ok but only you know how reasonably enforceable the second one will be with your family/friends. I only feed my 2yo granddaughter (who I look after one day a week) food approved by her mother (my DIL) because I think her child, her choice, and it’s bloody disrespectful to do otherwise, but not everyone does the same.

The fact you think a rich tea biscuit is a treat speaks volumes to be honest.

He's 2, most 2 year olds are little dustbins who can consume a never ending conveyer belt of food because they never stop moving.

They hardly see him so of course they will want to spoil him with things he may not often have, that's quite literally the role of grandparents.

He had a nice day, that's all that maters.

Do you know I have been having the same thoughts recently!!! My LO is younger but from the day of birth even my teenage step kids have been asking when they can give the baby chocolate milk and sweets and they haven’t stopped asking!
even my mum told me “oh the look on baby’s face with the first try of chocolate”.

maybe I should speak with my nephew. He’s 11 and his favourite snacks are mixed seeds and mango (including skin, resourceful guy lol).
both his parents hate fruit lol but I know they’ve never forced or pushed anything either.
but I don’t think they had that much junk in their house either.

my nephew did get lots of treats at my parents etc but still makes a lot of sensible choices at home and to eat at and take to school.

I wouldn't like the sweets or ice creams either as sugar is so bad for their teeth.

All I can think is your poor child being given a rich tea. I think he needed the treats as reward for eating such a crap biscuit 😂

And this is, literally, why we have so many kids with sugar addictions.

I hear you, OP, it always annoyed me when my children were little. I am not one to sweat the small stuff, but like you, I wondered WHY people are so keen to feed small children crap. Why the endless sweeties and cake, it isn't necessary and it isn't really kind - so why do they do it?

OP never said she thought the rich tea biscuit was a ‘treat’!

I’m with you OP - toddlers shouldn’t be offered adult-sized mars bars, and offering them crap food sets up unhealthy eating habits for life.

Because people like to treat children and junk food is a cheap and easy way especially if they don't see them often.. Even a children's magazine is around £4.

If you don't want to say no maybe direct them to more appropriate foods or what your DS really likes. As your DC get older it's very easy to forget what is age appropriate at different stages and if you are a GP or a childless aunt or uncle it can be even trickier. If it's someone they see rarely and you don't want to address it there and then you intercept the inappropriate sweets for 'later', you share the ice cream but really eat half of it.

People you see more often let them know what your DC likes, you could even take some minimilks with you to store so DC can have them when there if you don't think GPS would buy their own.

Yes of course kids have sugar addictions because they have a biscuit 🙄🙄this really is peak Mumsnet

Why do adults kiss children on the lips too? It’s gross. I wouldn’t let anyone near my kids lips and told everyone no kissing ever! I feel like punching adults when I see them kissing their kids on the lips it really bothers me.

Is there a reason some people have no ability to detect humour and sarcasm? Wonder if you could find the cause of yours 🙄🙄🙄 I clearly wasn’t being serious ffs.

If you saw me kiss my kids on the lips you'd feel like punching me?
Wow not quite sure what trauma you've experienced but please get some therapy and stop projecting those issues on others

And this is, literally, why we have so many kids with sugar addictions.

It really isn't. The only people I know who have what I would term a sugar addiction are those who had parents who restricted their sugar and did the whole junk food, naughty food, treat food mantra.

Those who just had food like chocolate or ice cream along with veg and had parents who didn't use such terminology or didnt turn it into some sort of moral failing to eat the 'junk' have a much healthier relationship with food now they are older.

My parents feed my children sweets/fizzy constantly and did me as a child. If I’m honest I think it’s a lazy way to try and make them happy. Doesn’t require effort.

many many people use food as a ‘treat’ or ‘reward’. I do actually. It’s a really hard mindset to get out of.

My own parents gave my kids ice creams when looking after them when toddlers! They never ever would've let me or my siblings have ice creams at that age, it was always only fruit or healthy snacks. I was a bit taken aback but then I realised the kids would have fond memories of their doting grandparents.

Let your PIL and family spoil your child with treats, it's sounds like it's not all the time and it'll become a fun little thing that only the grandparents do. It actually might make it easier for you to manage when they start asking for treats ("no, only the grandparents have those biscuits, we don't have them")

This is probably the most worrying post I've seen on Mumsnet and I have seen some heavy shit!!

WTF?!?!?!

A kid liking sugar is totally normal. Please go and look up what addiction actually means.

I’m with you - people are enforcing their own ideas of a treat on them but it’s just not appropriate. Why fill their bodies with junk if you don’t have to?? It changes their palate so they need constantly sweeter and saltier food to taste good. If you’d never eaten chocolate a piece of pineapple would seem like the sweetest most delicious thing in the world! Why spoil that? Most adults need to eat healthier, it’s just denial if they give kids crap so they don’t feel bad about their own diet

Surprised by the answers here. Of course a rich tea biscuit is a treat.

I think people like to make children happy and giving them junk food is a quick and easy way to do that. But I’m with you, op- I wouldn’t want people feeding my 2yo mars bars etc.

I think the key is to make your own mind up about what you’re happy with and then stick to that. If you only see your in-laws occasionally, perhaps it doesn’t matter too much? If it’s a regular thing, I’d be more concerned. The problem with eg having an ice cream every time you go to the park is not just the ice cream but the fact that every trip then becomes about the ice cream and the park is secondary.

A rich tea biscuit is a punishment, not a treat!! So your DS eats healthy food, your brother also bought him a fruit shoot, I don’t see the issue at all. But actually the kids who are denied a lot of ‘treat food’ (for want of a better term) at home are always the ones I see going absolutely nuts on the buffet at birthday parties.

@DawntilDusk4 what happened to you?

I kiss my kid on the lips, because they are my kid and they love me and also kiss me on the lips. One day they won't even want a hug, let alone a kiss, so I'll get my affection where I want thanks.

And I guarantee I'd punch harder!!

So some of the responses are in line with what I thought I’d get. I will say though:

He's 2, most 2 year olds are little dustbins who can consume a never ending conveyer belt of food because they never stop moving

Yes and no. I think many 2 year olds will eat plenty of snacks - as mine did on that particular day, he had a biscuit, a banana and a cereal bar - and subsequently wouldn’t eat much lunch. No harm done because it isn’t every day and because he had a good tea, but I do know friends who’ve gone down the endless snack route and children won’t eat meals and I don’t think it’s a good thing to assume they are ‘dustbins’ - mine certainly won’t eat a meal if he’s been grazing on biscuits all morning.

And I suppose people mocking the rich tea thing is the point, isn’t it? People say oh poor child, but he likes them, he eats them. So what purpose is served by giving him a chocolate chip cookie or a chocolate HobNob? Why is that a good thing?

I would not overfeed 'junk' but if I was a given a long list of requirements of what to feed a child or not when no allergies are in involved they would be finding other childcare

I do balance