My child’s school have changed the name of Mother’s Day to special persons day, what do you think?

[Rainbow03]

Have we gone mad or is this appropriate?

Agree with previous posters. The school know their children’s circumstances far better than you- this is an act of kindness not politics.

**Zipps

I actually agree on this one. It stops kids living in foster families, in care, with grandparents or with two dads not feeling left out. Not everyone has a wonderful loving mother either.**

Agree 100%

Same for Father's Day - mine died when I was 10 and any Father themed activities throughout my school years were very upsetting.

This is not unusual in my experience.

This is why I believed it better to support my children and teach them to be robust, to understand that others have bad things happen also in other ways and develop complex empathy skills, that it's selfish to take away the joyful bonding experience from another family will have because they are sad it won't make them happier only narcissistic.

If people don't want a name change then why not use the original name, Mothering Sunday, and celebrate in the traditional way, going to church?

If it's OK to change names and traditions then nothing wrong with changing again to special person's day.

This they could make it about the mother figures in your life rather than solely focussed on mothers, or they could ignore it and leave it to families, but what they are doing erases mothers

It's so obvious when people shoehorn the trans issue into absolutely everything that they are totally consumed by it which must be difficult irl as not many people think about it 24/7.

My dcs school has been doing this for years, same as with fathers day.

It's much better, includes all types of families without the kids feeling awkward, having to explain anything, or having to be different from their classmates.

This is the kind of thing schools do because some children's mother is dead or does not see her children. These children have usually gone through a lot, why would you object to a tiny change that makes their life a bit easier?

This would really piss me off.

@AllOfThemWitches I agree. I saw someone claim those marketing emails asking you if you want to opt out of emails about mothers day were to do with transgender agenda. Such bullshit.

I imagine it makes it easier for children who technically have a “mother” that does not care for them. It must be a confusing time for young children in foster care for example, who may still have contact with their birth mother but don’t want to make her a card or whatever.

Agree.

Not everyone has a mother.

It’s ludicrous. It is possible to honour someone else on Mother’s Day without erasing mothers from it.

Will the school erase fathers in June? Or is it only the word mother that is offensive.

No one would be here without a mum, everyone has or has had one, the majority of us thankfully have one who is or was loving and that should be celebrated. The child without a mum can make a card for someone else, no need for kids with mums to miss out.

I was very thankful that my children's school put on a performance for the mum's today for mother's day and referred to it correctly. I'm not a random special person, I'm a mum and like being appreciated as a mum.

So therefore no mother should be celebrated? Strange how it’s the “women” focussed language and norms which are going first.

The school probably thinks it’s doing a lovely inclusive thing and as we can see from responses on here, many agree, and that’s because there’s an unarguable kernel of truth in the justification for doing so. However in tandem with all the other attempts to slyly dismantle social norms around gender and sex differences it’s actually just one more nudge in a very specific agenda.

I think it should be used as a way of educating tolerance of other people and of acceptance and empathy. Talk about all the different kinds of mothering and nurturing. Tell them where it originated but how we can progress and it’s ok to evolve to accept others as we learn.

Nobody is erasing mothers. They are trying to make some children's lives a bit easier. You can still do what you want in your own family.

I worked in a school which had a very high amount of single mum families and we didn't celebrate fathers day.

Why is it Special Person's Day, though? Why not Special Women's Day - and then Special Men's Day when Fathers' Day comes around?

That way, for the great many kids who do have living and loving mums and dads, they will be the obvious focus for them - but then for the children who don't, it can be just as lovely for them to focus on caregivers, grandparents, aunts/uncles or any other adult role models; or it can be mums/dads AND the others too.

Just calling it Special Person's Day actually sounds quite un-special and non-specific - especially if there are two such days in the year (in place of MD & FD) - and, imho, takes away the intended focus from acknowledging adults who love and care for them, rather than, say, other children or random adults whom they regularly encounter, and who may smile kindly at them, but who have no emotional ties with them.

I think the name of the days should remain the same - people choose whether to celebrate them within the school situation. If the school for whatever reason chooses not to mention either Father or Mother's Day that is fine but changing the title is in my view wrong.

Of course it erasing mothers, it is literally removing the word mother. Absolutely ludicrous.

Where does OP say they’re not going to celebrate mothers? Sounds like they, as this is a planned activity for Mother’s Day - just taking into account those without mothers.

Bit of an exaggeration to suggest myself or the school are saying no mothers should be celebrated

I can't be upset about this at all. Not everyone has a mother. This isn't about 'pregnant people'. It's about the fact that not everyone has a mother in their life.

Dh and I both lost our dads young. As an adult looking back, I can totally see that we just didn't easily fit into a category with two living parents in our lives so it was hard to fit us in a neat box to celebrate all these things and I can't blame teachers or any other adults for carrying on with the status quo.

But as a young person, I found it incredibly painful to be reminded of all I'd lost once a year. As an adult, I don't think about my dad on Father's day anymore, and anyway I'm focussed on dh and the dc on that day. But as a child, it was really hard to not really be able to participate in something because you were unlucky enough to have a dead dad. I didn't have any other male family members who could have stepped into that role for that day.

Realistically, for 'mother's day' events, mothers - even if they exist - can't always attend. Our school did a 'mother's, grandmas, aunties and other special persons' tea. And there were several grannies and aunts in attendance because, unlike me in a senior role with a lot of flexibility, they couldn't just disappear from their shifts at the supermarket or on the farm to attend an event in the middle of the day. Totally fine to me. It takes a village and we should support children from all kinds of families.

Everyone knows it's mother's day plus

So mothers day plus for those who don't have a mother who would otherwise have a shit day get to join in

I think schools should either do nothing or recognise it in a smaller way and use it as an opportunity to talk about different family set ups.
Ignoring it or changing it won't shield children entirely - it's in the shops, on telly, their friends etc.

People who struggle with specific days need to find a way to manage them (I don't mean this in a 'just get on with it' way, but in a realistic one) and as a society we need to support those who are struggling.

Watering down everything so as not to hurt, offend or unsettle anyone isn't the way to do it IMO.

I know we are talking about Primary school and I'm not thinking that such young children should be taught how to manage complex emotions and that the world can be a difficult place, but that there must be a better way than renaming it Special People.