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Original poster

My child’s school have changed the name of Mother’s Day to special persons day, what do you think?

597 replies

Rainbow03 · 17/03/2023 11:50

Have we gone mad or is this appropriate?

OP posts:
Aweebitpainful · 17/03/2023 15:36

I was forced to do Mother's Day cards at primary school even though mine had died. I was always told to do one for my gran or dad. I didn't want to. It was always a traumatic day because I knew they wouldn't listen or understand. I'd have much rather have done anything else actually. Gave up trying to explain my feelings after a few years because no one listened.

I support this but Father's Day should also be "special persons day."

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/03/2023 15:36

Why not make it Mother’s and Special person day?

I can see why you’d want to be inclusive, but excluding the experience of most kids isn’t inclusive is it? Which is what I would say to the school board if I were you OP. It’s also v insensitive to remove the word mother at a point female identity is somewhat under attack.

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 15:37

Stickstickstickstickstick · 17/03/2023 15:35

@LittleFingerStrength u ok hun?

This!

Comedycook · 17/03/2023 15:37

The thing is I live in London because I was born here. My family and friends are here. However, if I didn't have those links, the free museums, art galleries and eclectic food/nightlife would not make living here worthwhile.

Quveas · 17/03/2023 15:39

Timeforachangeisitnot · 17/03/2023 13:48

@Quveas you are late to the party, several people have explained the roots of Mothering Sunday to me, which I actually do appreciate.

Samhain and modern Halloween are poles apart, and I stand by my comment that Halloween, and especially ‘trick or treat’ are commercial enterprises to sell tat and sugar. Guising is a long standing tradition where I am from, but it was nothing like Halloween today.

Totally agree there is a discussion to be had. Mothers and Others as suggested would be great. But school appear not to have had the discussion , just unilaterally decided.

As I said in my original posy, happy to see all positive influences celebrated, but why cancel Mothers?

Sorry about that. I didn't realise that I wasn't allowed to post unless you approved of the content. Do you always pull up everyone who repeats something someone else has said? Because you must be very busy.

I stand by the history - Pope Gregory chose 1st November as All Saints Day deliberately, as with many other "christian" celebrations, to create a way of converting the "heathens" by making their festivals a part of christianity - just like Easter and Christmas. Halloween and Samhain are not poles apart. Just as Halloween is reputed to be a period when ghosts and ghouls and the souls of the dead are disturbed, the nights before Samhain, when the barriers between the spirit world and the physical world are weakest, were reputed to be "haunted" by spirits, ghouls and other monsters; and trick or treating dates back to celtic times. The tat and sugar are, just like Mothers Day etc., a result of commercial influences coming to bear, and really date very recently.

And I don't blame the school for not having a discussion. This one is going so well, with everyone totally in agreement, and utterly understanding the history and the placement of the event, don't you think? If they had a debate about it they'd still be discussing it when their kids in school are grandparents.

HazyDragon · 17/03/2023 15:40

Comedycook · 17/03/2023 15:37

The thing is I live in London because I was born here. My family and friends are here. However, if I didn't have those links, the free museums, art galleries and eclectic food/nightlife would not make living here worthwhile.

I'm guessing this was posted on the wrong thread, but most of the replies are so strange I can't be sure!

slashlover · 17/03/2023 15:40

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/03/2023 15:36

Why not make it Mother’s and Special person day?

I can see why you’d want to be inclusive, but excluding the experience of most kids isn’t inclusive is it? Which is what I would say to the school board if I were you OP. It’s also v insensitive to remove the word mother at a point female identity is somewhat under attack.

Even though they did the same for Father's Day last year?

Resister · 17/03/2023 15:41

A solution to all this would be for schools to focus more on teaching and less on moulding children to adopt the values of the school staff

saraclara · 17/03/2023 15:42

Resister · 17/03/2023 15:41

A solution to all this would be for schools to focus more on teaching and less on moulding children to adopt the values of the school staff

How dare the staff have values that prioritise bereaved children? Shocking.

Comedycook · 17/03/2023 15:42

Yes @HazyDragon my bad!

Butteryflakycrust83 · 17/03/2023 15:43

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/03/2023 15:36

Why not make it Mother’s and Special person day?

I can see why you’d want to be inclusive, but excluding the experience of most kids isn’t inclusive is it? Which is what I would say to the school board if I were you OP. It’s also v insensitive to remove the word mother at a point female identity is somewhat under attack.

But mothers are included under the banner of special persons?

Hesma · 17/03/2023 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 15:44

This thread is starting to feel like this

My child’s school have changed the name of Mother’s Day to special persons day, what do you think?
RosaBonheur · 17/03/2023 15:44

Depends why really.

If it's being done to be sensitive to the feelings of children who don't have a mother, that's a good thing.

If it's being done to be sensitive to the feelings of adults who think they are too special to just be a woman or a man like everyone else, they can fuck off with that bullshit.

happyinherts · 17/03/2023 15:45

Despair at some of the comments here.

A bereaved child doesn't just suffer on Mother's Day / Father's Day. That child suffers all year round. This is about making an unpleasant day less traumatic. Are there really Mums on here who have an issue with that?

Butteryflakycrust83 · 17/03/2023 15:45

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 15:44

This thread is starting to feel like this

Stealing this

ToWhitToWhoo · 17/03/2023 15:45

This isn't about erasing women, or anything to do with trans issues. Good god! It's about children who, due to death/ divorce/ abandonment/ being taken into care/ mum in prison/ etc./ etc. are not living with their mothers.

After all, it's well-known that Mother's Day can be difficult for adults|, who have lost their mothers, have a bad relationship with their mothers, or for women who are themselves childless not by choice.

I've come across it more often, in fact, with regard to Father's Day, as there are many more children growing up without a father in their lives than without a mother in their lives.

Perhaps the school could call it Mothers' and Special Persons' Day- so that children can celebrate their mothers, but those without mothers are not excluded, and single fathers, stepmothers, grandparents and other kinship carers, and foster parents can also get some deserved appreciation.

Somebodiesmother · 17/03/2023 15:46

Imagine being so obsessed with trans people that you blame everything you don't like on them

Also imagine you have so little empathy that you can't understand how this would make life less painful for some children

Aweebitpainful · 17/03/2023 15:47

There will be children who don't want to partake in this for many, many different reasons...

Maybe their mum is abusive.
Maybe their mum is dead.
Maybe they don't get along with her.
Maybe they don't live with their mum.
Maybe they have two dads.

I don't think anyone should be forced to an activity like this if they don't want to. I didn't want to because mine had died. I was still forced into it... it was horrible. I'm in my late 30s now and I still remember the horrible sinking feeling!

LittleFingerStrength · 17/03/2023 15:49

ToWhitToWhoo · 17/03/2023 15:45

This isn't about erasing women, or anything to do with trans issues. Good god! It's about children who, due to death/ divorce/ abandonment/ being taken into care/ mum in prison/ etc./ etc. are not living with their mothers.

After all, it's well-known that Mother's Day can be difficult for adults|, who have lost their mothers, have a bad relationship with their mothers, or for women who are themselves childless not by choice.

I've come across it more often, in fact, with regard to Father's Day, as there are many more children growing up without a father in their lives than without a mother in their lives.

Perhaps the school could call it Mothers' and Special Persons' Day- so that children can celebrate their mothers, but those without mothers are not excluded, and single fathers, stepmothers, grandparents and other kinship carers, and foster parents can also get some deserved appreciation.

You can have empathy and sympathy for these children, as I said it happened in my family.

life is complex, you don't try to stop others having a great family bo ding joyful experience because you are sad - that's really selfish and narcissistic. You accept life isn't fair and stop trying to make everyone else as miserable as you, it sure won't make you feel any better.

AllOfThemWitches · 17/03/2023 15:50

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 15:44

This thread is starting to feel like this

Yep some people have gone too far with it. Like it's literally all they think about.

movetoosoon · 17/03/2023 15:51

It's not an essential celebration and could be very upsetting for some children.

LittleFingerStrength · 17/03/2023 15:51

This thread shows that envy is the thief of joy, misplaced empathy, making everyone miserable together.

Original poster
Rainbow03 · 17/03/2023 15:52

@LittleFingerStrength why would anyone be miserable making a card for a special person. No one stopping them from writing mummy on the card.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 17/03/2023 15:53

LittleFingerStrength · 17/03/2023 15:49

You can have empathy and sympathy for these children, as I said it happened in my family.

life is complex, you don't try to stop others having a great family bo ding joyful experience because you are sad - that's really selfish and narcissistic. You accept life isn't fair and stop trying to make everyone else as miserable as you, it sure won't make you feel any better.

Show quote history

I'm unclear if you think the kid is narcissistic or the Head Teacher?

If you feel that not having a paper card from school that specifically says Mom on it has stopped you having a great family bonding, joyful experience then honestly, you need help.

Bung the kid a £1 and send them into Card Zone or equivalent